Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

Maybe you just lead a very sheltered life

have to say i think some of you are a bit naive, yes we can be friends with other people of the opposite sex and sit up chatting into the early hours and it can be very innocent but often it is not, my friend had her friend and a married man round at hers after the pub and they ended up having a threesome! i presume his wife isn't aware!

Why do people always assume that, because something has happened to them or to someone they know, it is automatically going to happen elsewhere? We all know there are people out there who are not to be trusted in a relationship, but it takes two to tango and, provided one party isn't into that sort of thing (viz Harman), nothing will happen, regardless of the intentions of any married (or otherwise) man.

Agree with all of CiffRichardsuckseggs posts totally!!

We all have different yardsticks on what we do or do not accept or think is right.....and it is nice to read others opinions because sometimes it can let us look at an issue from another angle.

However, I think it is unfair for anyone (esp on here!) to be judged on their own opinions or on to how they choose to run their relationships.

As for the original query.....my DH wouldn't do that and I wouldn't either. We are not uptight or paranoid or possessive. We just choose to respect each other in ways that suit us both as a couple. It is not a case of any of us being 'allowed' or 'not allowed' to do something. I trust him, he trusts me and that's about it....it's dead simple. For us, (and I asked him his opinion about this), it just doesn't feel right to be heading back for coffee and xmas decoration appraisal in the way that the OP has described... If others do it differently in their relationships, then fine.....each to their own.

I reckon Bink's right. Married Bloke is Single Man's Beard (so to speak).

I went, incidentally, out for tapas and beer with a married gentleman friend last night. It's entirely possible he fancies me. And equallly possible that he doesn't. Despite the fact that Alcohol Was Consumed, we managed not to be swept away on tide of passion.

And guess what, I had a much better time than staying in Working On My Relationship. Which means in fact that my Relationship benefits, as I was very pleased to get home and see Mr Inferior.

I wonder if Harman lives in Norwich
or owns a red rug triple

It's interesting isnt it? The split in opinion by poster point of view.

And MI - how very dare you whisk away a married man I hope you checked with his wife first, and you didnt flaunt your baubles or jingle your bells at him .

Blu - am loving your last post.

Ta MI.
Also intriguing how invisible the single bloke is on this thread (very including the OP) - go on, admit it, he was a bit of a Don't fancy yours much, wasn't he?

LOL at Bink

A man in Konditor and Cook once gave me a free bag of little lemon shortcakes.

But I'm SURE he was gay.

He would probably have been interested on Harman's christmas decorations.

the only reason i'd go back to someones house after the pub is if i fancied them...i guess it's the same for men?

no littlelapin, i wouldn't go back to a man's flat for any reason, firstly because i'm a married woman, and secondly..it's just not "right".

and i'd be if my dh went back to a womans flat.....not that he ever would.

Ok there were no flats involved. Can we get that clear
Also for you of you up in arms about this DREADFUL way of getting socialising...how did you meet your DHs? Did you get the CRB checked before meeting them in daylight perfectly sober with at least 4 mates with you and an alsation just in case?
Just throwing this in as the single bloke may have been panting at Harmans ankles dying for some...and they may indeed be married by this time naxt year...
I very much doubt it...but just how SHOULD you go about getting to know people in a way thats OK?

Just for the record, even when i am most in love I have the capacity to stray BUT never have. This I put down to the fact that I am never in a situation where I could. I am not a raging slapper but ply me with the right evening, the right arguement with DH, a friendly ear, nice surroundings, flattering company and I couldn't say I wouldn't respond when 'he' leaned in for a kiss. I hope I wouldn't but.....if I weren't there then it wouldn't happen.

So what are you meant to say then, sorry cant talk to you your married? If noone is up to anything WTF does it matter?

For a woman is a man's chattel and men cannot Control Themselves when faced with temptation.

oh fgs

What happened when the married man called on the single woman? (may I ask?)

nothing to do with temptation, i'm 35, there's probably only been 4 men i've seen in my whole life i'd want sex with....drunk or sober.

Gosh some of you have a very single track mind, dont you??

Why on earth is sex the only reason a man would visit a womans flat? You have very little regard for men.

dittany that's very unkind of you, I did tackle the issues you raised, only in a way you didn't like. or was it the cakes/shoes that confused you?

robert dyas

sigh

oh I see

one isn't allowed to socialise once one is married/in a couple in case of accidental shagging...over the baubles

i don't know many men that would go back to a womans flat to play monopoly.