Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

Fear for your own relationship because of past experience is one thing, tarring all men with the same brush is another entirely, which is what a lot of posters on this thread are guilty of.

If you call it arrogance that some of us have pointed out that not all men (or women) are inclined to infidelity then fine, I'm fucking arrogant and proud.

There seem to be a lot of posters on here who have a very dim view of men's self-control. We can all be tempted, but most of us (and, tbh, most men) can control ourselves. It would be a sad situation if we all had to avoid all temptation for fear of losing our self-control.

Yep dittany. And I apply the same rules to myself because I've been tempted before and I'm not going down there again.

Freckle, I agree completely.

But we don't know that anyone was tempted! Maybe all the people concerned found nothing erotically interesting in any of the others at all.

It's people that affect your Vitamin F levels - not situations. Look around next time you are on the tube - verey few of the mn will be of any sexual interest to you at all. Imagine combinations of them coming round to look at your tinsel. No temptation at all.

I'd be fine with my dh if it was a long term friend he was seeing. However if he was out with his mate and went back to someone's house whom he didn't know that well, I wouldn't be impressed. Because I wouldn't know here and therefore wouldn't trust her intentions. Of course he isn't under any spell and I would trust him not to suddenly start shagging the stocking, but I would be angry that he would put himself in that situation with a woman he didn't know very well.

It's different when you know the people your partners are with. You can trust your partners 100% but you can't trust people you've never met. And you'd have to wonder about the common sense of the dp who would put himself in that situation.

But obv I'm as prudish and suspicious as doggies!

ChiefElf you sound incredibly self-important. Good for you.

I am not "inclined" to infidelity, nor is my dh - but it happens. A LOT.

I don't need to fear for my relationship - like I said, I look after it.

Blu, I love your posts on this thread, btw

vicky I love yours too!

Let's all heart each other!

Yes rhubarb - great idea - I can supply a couple of aged aunts to act as chaperones too.

I can't be trusted with the sweet sherry at this time of year at all - I'm a disgrace

I'll get my knee-length pencil skirt out and my sensible shoes then! Will the vicar be coming?

"But we don't know that anyone was tempted! Maybe all the people concerned found nothing erotically interesting in any of the others at all.

It's people that affect your Vitamin F levels - not situations. Look around next time you are on the tube - verey few of the mn will be of any sexual interest to you at all. Imagine combinations of them coming round to look at your tinsel. No temptation at all."

Of course you're right Blu. I'm guilty of a bit of projection here, I've wandered into thinking about my own situation, not the OP's.

I don't think harman did anything wrong at all - but I guess I wouldn't be so keen on having a guy as a friend if I thought he was being a nobboid to his wife. (But then of course maybe he wasn't - maybe his wife was cool wit dat etc - we don't know)

No, not the vicar I think - I caught him looking at my ANKLES last time

You know that woman from Little Britain? The one who voms all over people because she's eaten cakes made by African brownies? That's YOU that is!

Actually, come to think, it wasn't the two "ladies" from LB was it?

affairs definitely don't "just happen"

but travelling on the Piccadilly line does make you realise that there are very few rich pickings

"putting yourself in situations where temptation might come up"
dittany

I walk past Patisserie Valerie - but don't have to eat the contents of the window

I see men every day who have snakes in their trousers and are conscious - but don't shag them (regardless of time of day/bonnet-wearing chaperones)

I even gaze at Louboutins - but leave the shop still shod in Clarks sale shoes

This is My World, not My Imagination

Dittany "the point isn't whether they were tempted or not. The point is about putting yourself in situations where temptation might come up."
Well, if no-one fancies anyone in the group, then there will be no temptation whatever the situation.

To use Chamomile's point - IF I was on a diet, I probably would avoid lingering in front of Patisserie Valeri's window because almost everything in there would be whispering 'eat me...buy me' and eventually I would rush in and throw £3 down on the counter for a slice of Paris-brest.

On the other hand if was passing Robert Dyas, I could safely throw myself in amongst the display and have a go on the test model of a percussion drill because none of it would interest me whatsoever and i wouldn't buy it!

Or to be more logical and analogous, if I were on a diet and passed a sushi restaurant I could linger and admire the decor with no risk of temptation at all because sushi just doesn't tempt me. At All.

If we can assume that the men from the pub and Harman and her friends were all the equivalent of the sushi to each other, then there would be no risk, whatever the situation.

And even if they were great big coffee eclairs, I understand that some people manage to resist. Though my own record with confectionary and men is not unblemished in this resepct.

Blu- your entire last post should be considered for quote of the week.

I wouldn't be annoyed in the least - but would if he rang to check with me if it was ok. I'd probably be asleep.

(Haven't read the whole thread but blu's last post which has me wanting sushi and for some reason a pneumatic drill and harman's op and a bit about ringing in the middle.)

LL...spot on, you have NO idea how spot on

I have yet to meet a man who is remotely interested in Christmas decorations.