Is it acceptable for a married man to call on a single woman after the pub shuts?

[harman]

Message withdrawn

Tch, is there a set number of times you have to have engaged in conversation with someone before you allow them over the threshold of your home?

erm, well I'd say so. Are people here now professing to deeming it acceptable to let complete (and drunken) strangers into your home while your children are asleep upstairs?

I mean, come on... some basic common sense.

If you don't know someone, don't invite them into your home at midnight.

There were no children upstairs. There were 4 adults, who have met a few times.
And women have VIBES - there were no dodgy vibes coming from either of the men, they both appear to be nice blokes.
There was no leering, no suggestion, nothing like that.

If you've been talking to someone for most of the evening, unless you are the sort of muppet who shouldn't be let out without a chaperone, social worker, personal therapist and your mummy to carry your mittens for you, you will have a reasonable idea of whether or not the person is an axe murderer or potential theif.

Harman stated earlier in thread "I live in a big 4 bedroom house with my kids."

Blimey this thread is funny. To answer the OP, no I would be fine with my DH doing this. I trust him, you see.

so all these women who get raped by men they meet in pubs, they're just bad judges of character then?

Yes, and she didnt bloody leave them at home while she was at the bloody pub. Jeesus. They were with their dad.

calm down woman. ever hear of a babysitter?

Maybe. But there were 2 of us. And they would have had a bloody hard time hiding my lardy arse under the patio I tell ya.

Blimey.

Yes, I would think it absolutely OK for dh to do this, & equally fine for me to invite people back in his absence.

Even if they were a bit pished AND even if I had the kids asleep upstairs.

Thread is indeed v amusing.

agree with LL throughout, this thread is truly odd

some people have a very very low opinion of men!!

for the record i would let my dp do this wothout question and not find it at all odd

No, not odd, I agree. But not hugely sensible either if you don't want to get into someone else's nightmare episode of Eastenders. It's really not worth the hassle.

From what I remember the majority of women are not raped by strangers they met in the pub but by men they know at home.

I gave my friend a lift home from the pub last night. We were ALONE. He is male and married.

I thought of you lot, as I was driving through dark streets well after closing time. With a MAN.

Yes, I should get back to cleaning my hovel, not gallavanting around town with a married man, who obviously wants to shag me, because I am female

Christ on a bike.

All the screechers of "they weren't friends, they're aquaintances" - how does acquaintance move on to friendship? By a casual coffee to continue a convivial evening perhaps?

Obviously that can't happen in a world where, to quote NoIamnot I think:

"Come on ladies, most men think with their nobs, they wouldnt accept an invite like this if they werent 'interested'"

I am so glad I don't live in that world.

ll sheik and turquoise are all spot on

So given that no petticoats were ruffled, no nobs exposed, in fact nothing whatsoever that would raise so much as a 'lawks a mercy' in a bonnet series, or a 'ooh, that looks tight, hand me the grease, Jed' in a pay-as-you-view plumber drama, can we assume that the men in question showed interest in nothing more than her baubles, and the OP did nothing more scandalous and marriage-threatening than say 'night, have a safe journey home' with both feet firmly on her doorstep?

So, social chat amongst the sexes can be a safe and normal thing to do?

I think when a pub closes a man should go home, no question. TBH I'd rather my dh didn't leave me at home to go to a pub let alone go to a woman's house after.

Thank heavens some more people came along that felt the same as I did. Littlelapin talks a lot of sense as always.

I think it does boil down to trust. I would trust that if dh was chatting to harman and UM in the pub he would pick up vibes that they were only inviting him back for coffee so they could get him into bed, and he'd be home quicker than you could say "is that a mobile phone in your pocket or are you pleased to see me".

Laugh at me if it amuses you noiamnot. Do you really believe that no man can ever be faithful? I'm sorry but I just don't accept that because I trust dh, one day he will be unfaithful. You can't possibly predict that.

I told my DP about this thread last night and he is of the opinion that one shouldn't put themselves in these situations at all, thus neatly avoiding any temptation. And also saves aggro at home as the woman is happy and knows where he is at all times; i.e, at there in front of her.

This makes me a bit but I don't know why. I suspect he and I have different attitudes to socializing. I'm with the little lapin, Blu brigade. Trust is important, then both people can, ohhh - socialize with members of the opposite sex. Daring! No idea which camp Dp is in because he won't quite spell it out...