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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 23:00

i think ti's important to know a story is a story dont you think?

Fine if its a good one but not to pass off as fact. That's just sicko.

Zippis is way better anyway.

Princeonthemove · 18/10/2008 23:02

I am a namechanger and a long term poster. And female. I suggested the transvestite notion as I thought the OP sounded like 'she' was describing how 'she' thought a woman may behave pre-date. A bit like when you see transvestites dress the way they think 'laydeez' dress. Scent, underwires (since when did women treat underwires as some sort of magic underwear...)

I don't think my other posts suggests anything more sinister or unusual than the facts; I worked closely with a depressed man who got obsessed with porn...obsessively and increasingly extremely. It was all over our work computers.

Anyway. I digress.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:03

watch out for smiling trolls in the parks of london with model planes luring your kids and acting all boyish

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 23:04

Oh Ok Prince thingy

Your'e removed from the suspects file dear.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 23:05

Yes, the underwires, what was that about anyway?

Mad person. Really nuts.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:10

Like a serial faker, he will strike again

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 23:12

no i dont think i have been in keble chapel

perhaps save that for the wedding

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 23:14

I'm actually quite scared about the idea of having to read her getting dressed thing for an actual wedding though. It was bad enough for a first date.

It could get seriosulty dodgy couldn't it.

there would be elnett and all sorts.

dittany · 18/10/2008 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:15

can we ask about the first date? Sounds interesting as you skipped it to tell us about the second.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:18

could be all real. Perhaps Hugh Grant was filming a RL-umentary.....and then he really fell for his object. We shall never know

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 23:20

we met up the first time at a climbing wall...

so my first climbing lesson ...i wore combats and a t shirt that says narcosis anonymous

he was en route from london to manchester and i was slightly stressed that he might think he was goiung to stay with me

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:22

love at first climb...

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:24

i am impressed with your outward bound dating initiative. Was it your idea or his

No5 · 18/10/2008 23:25

fa, she did sound like some sort of writer isnt she
eberything wa so detailed and folloewd by.
btw, im namechange, in case some1 suspect me im regualr and i been here since very frsy posts.
soooo ennoyed all this turned up wind up, troll whatever. i was getting excited, sad i knw.
was amanda also troll then? untill now i thought it was mn fairytale story/

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:28

No5...You don't have to believe in trolls.

PS- yes, everyone is a potential suspect indeed.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 23:29

night night all. Need to dream some more.

lisalisa · 18/10/2008 23:44

OK - it is late at night so please indulge me - but having read the whle thread and the fact that this guy was a complete stranger the first thought that occured to me when she didn't come back today is "Is she ok?" I suppose we really have no way of knowing whether she is or isn't as she didn't post in her real MN name so no-one can identify her. But it just distrubed me that she didn't come back and was meeting a total stranger........

Actually - she did give a clue - she said her mum posts or lukrs. I am not on MN very much anymore but remember at least one set of MN mother and daughter posters but not sure if the daughter si single or not.

bellabelly · 18/10/2008 23:50

I'm so irritated that i got sucked into this thread, only to find out that the OP is probably just a troll or, worse, a twattish author doing some research for his/her latest novel.

I'm even more irritated taht I didn't spot the trollery until FA and others pointed out that most women just don't talk about "scent" and "underwires"... Am so gullible I'm ashamed

lowenergylightbulb · 19/10/2008 00:19

She's probably busy being made love to tenderly under a canopy of model aeroplanes..

And then 'joel' will return from his luxury holiday to propose..with a manly quiver in his 'sensitively wasted from meningitis' jaw.

BitOfFun · 19/10/2008 00:32

hahaha, you could be right there! I hope this is for real and has a happy ending, but I do agree that I have never heard a woman wax lyrical on the wonders of underwire...I could be wrong, and apologise if I am - we shall see....

honestfriend · 19/10/2008 08:04

But we'll never really know, will we?

If "she" does come back, she will have read all our posts and try very hard to convince us it was for real- even if she is not genuine.

If she really is genuine, we will never really know.

If she doesn't come back, then it will look as if she wasn't genuine, but we will never be sure.

Lose, lose, lose situation.

We should all have kept quiet about our suspicions and just watched and waited.......

eeewahwoowah · 19/10/2008 10:33

I think you're right honest friend, doubters should have kept their counsel just a little bit longer.

I have to say I was convinced by it. However, it won't rock my world if it turns out to be a wind up, it's all pretty harmless stuff really.

coolbeans · 19/10/2008 11:08

I agree with honestfriend.
I didn't assume it was a windup,(I wear 'scent', not 'perfume' too),and would like to have known what happened. No chance, now - what with all the troll, TV, accusations being thrown around - I wouldn't come back either. Oh well.

Flightattendant2 · 19/10/2008 11:15

There were comments further down the thread which weren't completely accepting of the story

she just ignored them

I don't know why she wouldn't just do the same now.

I'm really sorry if anyone feels we spoilt it for them, like I said before it was a judgment call and I probably got it wrong - what do you do, point something out to people in case they are getting done over, or leave it and not say anything?

I don't know the answer but it is quite painful to see people being taken advantage of if you genuinely think that's what's happening - and if OP comes back and wants to try and convince us she is real, I would be really pleased and frankly relieved.

I think she can see that she has plenty of support as well as us rude lot who think she was making it up.

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