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Original poster

How often do you have sex?

128 replies

charx · 15/09/2008 00:14

I'm doing a straw poll here. DH says I'm not normal. According to him everyone else is having sex 3 or 4 times a week.
I'm a SAHM to a DD (2). I'm just pretty tired most of the time. I know it doesn't help that I have low self esteem with regard to body image/weight issues etc) but I really struggle to get into the mood to have sex. So at this moment in time I'm averaging once every 8 weeks.

Anyone else want to share?

OP posts:
girlsnextdoor · 17/09/2008 07:41

chefswife- are you serious? Sex over the counter tops when there is a lull?

I hope Health and Safety don't know about this!

disneystar · 17/09/2008 08:05

i have 5 dc at mone and a 11 week old ds
on average about 3 times a week for full on sex
but we are more like teenagers

been married 10 years and im a SAHM he works away all week coming home maybe for an hour or if hes loading
but we have laptops all over the house and when hes home and theres a lull or dc at school and baby is asleep he im,s me saying u wanna meet in the downstairs hall for 5 ;)
weve never been able to keep our hand of each other,its exciting and fun hes fantastic......or maybe in the shower
i always think what was it like before the dc was great then why should that change he was my life before the children
we fell in love and had fun together then our children have just bonded us more closer if that were possible
to us sex isnt a chore its an amazing show of our love and commiment together,
but equally it isnt expected if im ill or he is we just cuddle ,and those cuddles and kisses are just as great to me

disneystar · 17/09/2008 08:08

il have to say he still gives me butterflies in my tummy on a friday night when he is due home i wont elaborate but we keep it alive together throught the things we say and do and nothing smutty either before you guys get the wrong end of stick

pamelat · 17/09/2008 12:38

DD 8 months. We "try" to fit in once a week (not on set days or anything!)

At least once a fortnight, both just too tired.

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 12:39

according to dh not often enough and i'must be having it with someone else'

oopsadaisyangel · 17/09/2008 12:46

One week of the month - every night (or morning) the other three weeks of the month not at all because DH works away!! Got to get a months worth in in one week

maidamess · 17/09/2008 12:48

Monday -Missionary

tuesday- tongues only

Wednesday- wife swap night

Thursday -threesomes

Friday -finger of fudge

Saturday/Sunday- Dogging in the woods.

Am I normal?

nybom · 17/09/2008 16:32

had drunken sex with DH last weekend ... HOWEVER: the last time before that was 7 months ago!!! usually, once or twice a month is all i can get out of him... he's just not into sex, never has been. personally wouldn't mind 3+ times a week, but at least i can be pretty sure he will never be unfaithful...

magnolia74 · 17/09/2008 16:36

We have 5 kids age from 13 down to 22 months and have sex on average every other night

Yes I'm tired ect... but to me and dh sex is an important part of our relationship and we have fun showing how much we love each other

SueMunch · 17/09/2008 16:39

Maidamess - not really normal - you have clearly forgotten to include girl-on-girl action and dungeon of pain sessions. .

BitOfFun · 17/09/2008 16:42

Most days/nights, usually more at the weekends. Our kids are older though (8 - though she wakes at night sometimes, special needs-, and two young teens) and we have only been together 3 years. To the OP, still getting up at night, I imagine you don't feel particularly rampant at the moment though. Always worth trying to compromise though if one of you isn't happy.

AnAngelWithin · 17/09/2008 16:45

4 kids here. have sex anywhere from every night to every month. just depends when we get the chance! sex isnt a big part of our relationship though, which means at least when we have a 'dry spell' it doesnt get to either of us. We are lucky i suppose.

RandomFlopsy · 17/09/2008 16:50

I'm doing it now.

asur · 17/09/2008 17:09

LOL @ ramdomflopsy - good name too

I think quality might be more important than quantity when it comes to sex... we had sex last night and it was so good that DH said after "are you still awake?" would rather have good sex not very often than regular sleep-deprived rubbish sex. (although my current sex life is rubbish and not very often but nevermind..)

noddyholder · 17/09/2008 17:12

every other day-ish.

topkitty · 17/09/2008 17:38

It would say 2 -3 times a week on average but like everyone it swings in roundabouts!
Sometimes more & sometimes less.
Close & Hugging times is just as important to feeling conected & together in my opinion.

topkitty · 17/09/2008 17:38

It would say 2 -3 times a week on average but like everyone it swings in roundabouts!
Sometimes more & sometimes less.
Close & Hugging times is just as important to feeling conected & together in my opinion.

BitOfFun · 17/09/2008 17:47

Do you think Maidamess swings in roundabouts?

mumblecrumble · 17/09/2008 20:55

DH and I feel we have perfected the art of 'we're absolutly knackered but its so nice' low-energy sex. The method was first 'conceived' when I was pregnant and morning sickness, then tiredness, then being as big as a house prevented me from exerting myself but we still wanted to enjoy some naughty cuddles.

We also found it helped us get back to sleep after 3am feeds.....

Now, with 13month old dd around twice a week depending on dh shift pattern and dd's sleep habits.

Some of the above posts made me sad

weeamoomoo · 17/09/2008 21:59

i have 3 kids under 4 and obviously tiredness is a factor, but when i was pregnant i was so horny all the time and dragging my (delighted) hubby up to the bedroom.
now i am breastfeeding my 6 month old and we do have sex but i very rarely feel that horniness (is that a word?) that makes me want to initiate it.
i have been surprised by how much hormones control my libido. and i will be interested to see what its like when i stop breastfeeding.

PinkTulips · 17/09/2008 22:55

mumblecrumble has a good point, sex doen't have to be a high energy 2 hour affair.

quickies and slow, sleepy, non energetic sex can be just as fullfilling and are far more managable when one or both parties are exhausted.

DaphneMoon · 18/09/2008 14:39

We are at about 3-4 times a week at the moment but have only been together 4.6 years so still fairly fresh! This is still not enough for DP though! Last night I was so tired I made him wear a condom so that I did not have to get out of bed afterwards and "mop up" so to speak

piratecat · 18/09/2008 14:41

right now? once every two yrs

lilysmummy2007 · 19/09/2008 11:58

ive a 17mo dd, partner works nights, we sleep in seperate rooms as he is a chronic snorer and DD is co sleeping still, but we still manage 3-4 times a week maybe a couple quickies in between, dont particularly have high sex drives but i think its an important part of a relationship to maintain physical relationship, especially as we sleep seperately, so we do make the extra effort, i hope it gets better for you soon charx

iwishiwasnatashakhan · 19/09/2008 11:59

god, I am climbing the walls. Have not had sex with dh since December 22nd. and before that, was a sporadic, half hearted affair. Don't want it with him either, but do want it, iyswim. I know there are some people on MN who haven't had sex for years and are happy about it, but I'm not one.