How often do you have sex?

[charx]

I'm doing a straw poll here. DH says I'm not normal. According to him everyone else is having sex 3 or 4 times a week.
I'm a SAHM to a DD (2). I'm just pretty tired most of the time. I know it doesn't help that I have low self esteem with regard to body image/weight issues etc) but I really struggle to get into the mood to have sex. So at this moment in time I'm averaging once every 8 weeks.

Anyone else want to share?

We're variable too - hot, cold, warm... We have to get on with it though or we both become v. bad tempered!

Thequietone...don't dread it, take it slowly you don't have to achieve full penetrative sex it you don't feel ready. It took me about five months after iving birth (both times) and as DH wasn't up for sex during the pregnancy he ended up without sex for over a year, two times. So over two years with nothing.

Now we have settled back into it (our youngest dd is almost two) it's usually 1-2 times a week we are both happy with this but I suspect DH would prefer 3-4 times, sometimes he is lucky but not very often!

Once a week rising to the giddy height of twice (perhaps 4 or 5 times a year). Anyway what's 'normal' got to do with it?

I'd like to think we do it 3 times a week, but kind of think it is about once a week.

Know that DH would be happy with every day but really cant be arsed with that! For me, ever month or so would be good.

Can't believe they have worked out Viagra helps with men but there is no female equivalent. Most women I talk to about this would love to have a higher sex drive.

Get the feeling that most women are worried they are not 'servicing'(!) their DH/DPD enough.

Female viagra would be good DH would get my a years supply.

2 kids and preg with third, having sex about twice a week. tends to be more when i'm not pregnant and will expect it to drop as bump develops and he starts to freak out about hurting the baby like with the other 2

we both have highish sex drives though, when we weren't having much sex after the birth of the dc's as i was exhausted and constantly had a baby attached to me he was always horny and looking for it and vice versa, if he's not in the mood for more than a few days for some reason i'm climbing all over him. longest we've ever gone was about 3 months after ds was born (had had sex the day before he arrived)

Im a sahm, DD1 is 8, dd2 is 6 and DS is 5 months. we do it most nights, but usually have a night off once a week if one of us is tired

About once a week, twice if I'm lucky

ok - husband works 6.5 days a week and long hours too. I'm still a bit traumatised by childbirth 2 yrs on - having felt totally unsexy and severe exhaustion by DH being away for first 6 months with work abroad and I stayed at home in order to cope with child who had frequent visits to hospital due to severe illness. We hardly ever go out (finance issues and family not near us to help babysitting). It's lucky if he comes home before 10.30 pm. I'm now thinking: is it any wonder?! I've never had a high sex drive . . . But some of you guys are having severe amounts of sex!!! (well done you!!!) I'd rather sleep!!

Probably three times since DD was born - she's one in a couple of weeks. I've been told that I'm a "Mummy now, not a sex object".

Feel so sad about it.

oliviasmama - boo to your DH being wildly insensitive etc. He needs to sort that one out in his head quicksmart.

I think that whoever is telling your DH this really is telling him porkys. some people do, and some of those some have children. most are without children, so possibly are doing it more. However, I've read, countless times that the 'average' number of times, for a couple who live together is greatly fewer than most people think,. or are led to believe. Sorry, no stats, but it's true

SO, your DH is not beig fair. Besides, who gives a flying feck how many times other people are doing it ( i aim this at him not you btw! ) how often you feel able to should be his priority, ad working on how he can make you feel more confident, less tired etc etc....

I think DH and I are probably above average, simply because we are not under the same roof in the week, and he's not home every single weekend. So kind of make up for it when he is here. I can't remember the last time we did't when he was home. That said, I've not seen him for weeks and his phone has been off for a week.. but thats another thread altogether

twice since dd2 was born 5mths. Not either of us choosing. Found it painful so tensed up more the second time and has put me off. Need to go to the Drs as well because I was on the depo which numbed my libido. Don't want more children so I need contraception.Also I have a dd1 who is 2.6y and am still bf LO.

I feel some comfort because at least I know DH wants it iyswim

I know TW, but I dont think that it'll ever change now. It really does worry me, I think about it a lot.

((((hugs))))

everynight...yum! and constantly pinching bums, rubbing each other etc can even do it at work cos we work together
Been together 3yrs got my two dc 9,6 full time and his two dc both 8 twice a wk again . Its just to easy to fall out of the habit be too tired and it is hard when they are all babies etc..

oliviasmama kick him up the arse tell him youre a yummymummy and want some smooching you sound so sad, I feel so sad for you this situation will do nothing for your self esteem. Whats wrong with being a mum and a sexpot goddess?

79 times a day and we always come together too.

what is WITH these threads???

what does it matter how many times anyone has sex? what matters is individual couples and how they feel.

sometimes i think we do SHARE too much on here.

Charx, I'm not surprised your dh is not best pleased, if you are only having sex with him once every 8 weeks. Poor bloke.

Constantly

Every day.

but only once in 4 years with someone else in the room!

Twice a year. But I practice a lot on my own.

I would say probably between once a week-once a fortnight. Depends really, as we are ttc, it goes to about every 3-4 days now and again. If we go longer than a fortnight we tend to get a bit tense/bolshy with each other.

What really pisses me off is that dp will be normal for a week, eg random kisses/hugs before bed. Then when he's obviously feeling horny it's hugs all the time/lots of affection. Would love some of that affection regularily tbh instead of when he just wants a shag.

Ditto abstractmouse. Funny how they seem to think that it's possible to go from distant to shagging like bunnies in 2 seconds flat