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Relationships

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Original poster

Would this piss you off?

51 replies

passTheAsprin · 29/08/2008 23:46

You go out for a meal with a fairly newish partner (say 6 months). You agree before hand to split the cost 50/50.

You order a main meal that costs £6 and 2 drinks at roughtly £2 each.
He orders a main meal at £9, a starter at £6. A side order at £3 and 2 drinks at roughly £3 each. The meal comes to £34. Is it mean to silently begrudge paying half towards this meal?

Then say a few weeks later you go for another meal. He asked you if you would like to go and made no mention of going halfs. So you go and when food is ordered you order main meal at £6 again and a couple of drinks. He again goes for a starter, 2 side orders, the most expensive main meal and expensive drinks and when the bill is brought he asks if its ok to go halfs again.

I don't mind paying my way but I think he's taking the piss a bit. He works full time and has much more disposable income than I do (single parent currently on income support). Or am I being tight?

OP posts:

nancy75 · 29/08/2008 23:47

he might not realise that money is tight for you?

kormachameleon · 29/08/2008 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeinzSight · 29/08/2008 23:48

Did he not suggest to you to have more? Think that's taking the piss IMHO

Original poster

passTheAsprin · 29/08/2008 23:48

He knows about the money situation.

OP posts:

Dragonbutter · 29/08/2008 23:49

it's always the people with plenty money who offer to split the bill equally.

beanieb · 29/08/2008 23:50

were you being particularly careful about what you ordered i.e getting the cheapest to save cash?

StayFrosty · 29/08/2008 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msdemeanor · 29/08/2008 23:51

He's mean with money. Probably not deliberately but he is. Do you really like him? You sound as if you don't really.
If you do, say, 'I'd love to go for dinner with you, but I'm really struggling this month and it's so expensive' and see what he says

piratecat · 29/08/2008 23:51

if he knows, he certianly isn't 'understanding ' the money situation, and is being pretty thick.

i would expect by 6 months you would be able to talk more about this?

expatinscotland · 29/08/2008 23:53

Yes, it would piss me off.

I can't abide skinflints, and he is one of the highest order.

If he's that stingy with money, imagine what else is he stingy with?

I'd be out of there.

pinkspottywellies · 29/08/2008 23:53

What did you say the second time when he asked? I don't think it's fair and would have to say something for next time.

nancy75 · 29/08/2008 23:54

i would guess he doesnt really understand how little money you have on benefits. to some people they are skint if they only have £200 left til payday, to others skint is 50p left to last a week!
he could be being really insensitive or yes, sorry he could just be a big skin flint.

Flibbertyjibbet · 29/08/2008 23:59

Agree with Dragonbutter, the people with money always expect to just split the bill. It doesn't even occur to them that people might order cheaper things on a menu.

Could be worse though, one idiot I went on a few dates went halves first two dates. On the third he said 'oh I have not brought my wallet' I said I didn't have enough to pay for both. 'well can you put it on your card and I will give you my half next time I see you'
The cheeky bastard never so much as phoned again.
If he is showing scrooge tendencies while you are still dating then I'd drop him. These are the men that end up as the subject of the all-too-frequent threads about financially controlling dhs and dps.

Original poster

passTheAsprin · 30/08/2008 00:00

When he said "I'm going to go for the steak...and this starter...and these sides.." etc I did say "do you mind if we stick to the cheaper dishes to keep the cost down a bit, I'm really skint at the moment" and he said "oh...but I'm really hungry..."

It isn't just twice its happened, its a few times. Once when the bill came I made a bit of a show of saying "jeez...how much did that steak thing cost that you got?" and he looked down the bill and said "oh yeah, it isn't really fair that you pay half towards this cos mine cost miles more than yours, but I've only got £15 on me..." etc

OP posts:

BloodySmartarse · 30/08/2008 00:00

if i didnt have the money to spare, id say 'sorry xxx, but i really can only afford to pay for what i had' then hed be unable to say in effect 'no, i demand you subsidise my meal'

i think money is a well touchy thing and no-one ever wants to talk about it and theres far too much room for offence no matter WHAT angle you take... so id cut some slack... but id be honest. if id deliberately chosen cheaply coz thats what i could afford, id say so at the beginning.

if i thought a meal was gonna be split 50:50 no matter what, and the ohter person wasnt holding off, then hell, id order whatever took my fancy! ( only if i felt i could afford it obv)

feel for you, tis well awkward, money. people feel so many obligations and odd assumptions about money and how other people see/expect things to be conducted. and no fucker will talk about it which doesnt help imo.

nancy75 · 30/08/2008 00:01

in that case he is a skin flint, the most unatractive quality in a man!

expatinscotland · 30/08/2008 00:01

I had a guy try that one on me, FJ.

He pulled the half on your card thing, too.

I told him, no thanks because my cards were all maxed out, paid my half and left.

Oldest trick in the book! He really thought I'd fall for htat? Cheap bastard!

Back during my dating days, being cheap meant instant dismissal in my book.

BloodySmartarse · 30/08/2008 00:02

xposts
ok hes a leeching shitebag
dont go out with him again.

expatinscotland · 30/08/2008 00:03

DUMP HIM, pass.

You can't afford to do this, for one.

And besides, when you have some dosh going spare, wouldn't you rather spend it on yourself and your kids rather than his steaks.

NEVER buy that, 'I've only got a tenner on me' line.

It's bullshit.

Tell them you've only got a tenner as a reply, pay up your half, and then leave.

NumberFour · 30/08/2008 00:06

not a very nice thing to do to someone you're dating.
i reckon you would be well rid of him.

BloodySmartarse · 30/08/2008 00:06

yeah, dont waste another precious pound, minute or shared oxygen space with this prick.
plenty more pricks in the sea.

expatinscotland · 30/08/2008 00:07

Jeez, between the skinflints and the men who lied about their marital status I could have written a book.

And the weirdos.

StayFrosty · 30/08/2008 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 30/08/2008 00:10

'Oh, I'm never home/don't have a landline (but they had a net connection all the time and before WiFi, too ) call me at the office/on my mobile'.

translation: I'm living with someone, married or have so many on the hop I can't keep them all straight.

'I didn't want to tell you (I was still living with her, only separated and not divorced like I said, etc) because I thought you'd get angry.'

Nah, really? As if getting angry is an abnormal reaction to being lied to. Well, you're wrong there, I can't be bothered getting angry with liars, here's your P45, hit the road!

Carmenere · 30/08/2008 00:12

I just could not, ever, find a man who was mean, attractive.

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