Should I be cross if DH went to lap dancing club?

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...and spent £60 on private dances (we aren't poor and he doesn't spend money on much that is frivolous).

Other people seem to think I should be cross but I can't see it. Am I being a mug? Is it a sign of disrespect?

He got a bit of female attention outside the marriage. He was consenting. They were consenting. I knew he was going there. There doesn't seem like there is a risk of him forming a relationship with the women but if a woman behaved that way with him in a regular nightclub that seems more of a threat to me.

He came home horny as hell and seemed like he had a good break from the stress of his job.

yeah spank him

here you go!

www.redsevenleisure.co.uk/products/london-comedy-male-strip-show-with-vip-club-entry-5611.html

Just look at the lecherous bastard lusting over those defenceless girls!

Wicked Lapdancing(!!)

Adonis Cabaret

why are these all in Blackpool?

hunky strippers.com!

BeanieB 'Do I kick up a fuss about this? No - because I trust the fact that he wouldn't go further than just a lap dance.'

Gosh, you've really missed the point. This isn't about you and your husband's fidelity or otherwise. It's about the women one step down. And the rest of us.

are the male lap-dancing clubs frequented by women or are they aimed more at gay men?

If you read the pages, they all offer lapdancing

i keep pondering the 'men need visual stimulation' argument which is often trotted out on threads like this,or porn threads etc.it is often said that there is more porn aimed at men,more female strippers/lap dancers etc as women just wouldnt be interested in such things apart from to have a laugh on hen nights.apparently this is why magazines such as Loaded etc exsist for men but there are no female versions;apparently women wouldnt want to see nearly-naked men on the front of a magazine(cant see why jade goody in a bikini makes a better magazine cover than a random male sleb in the buff myself).

i have asked for the evidence which supports this 'fact' but i have yet to see it,so i just carry on assuming its a myth perpetuated by the media and the mysoginistic society we live in.

I never said that men have special needs that women don't have.

I am respondiong to the claim that lapdancing makes womens' bodies into a commodity.

Presumably it also make men's bodies a commodity in which cae at least we're all in the same boat.

And Divastrop: they appear to be aimed primarily at hen parties.

niceychops has made a brilliant point.

cheating is differant for every couple.

i'd feel cheated on if dp had an emotional affair with a woman (as in more than 'just friends' but not necessarily involving physical contact), kissed another woman or had sex with another woman.

i would not feel cheated on if he watched porn or got a lap dance as they involve no emotional attachment, they're simply for entertainment and a bit of a sexual thrill.

i don't expect any one but dp to share these exact expectations of their relationship, some people have more relaxed boundaries, some would not even accept what i would. it doesn't make them wrong, their relationships wrong or their partners hard done by. these things are discussions that a couple has early in a relationship where the rules are set out so that both parties know where the line in the sand is.

more scumbag men praying on sweet innocent girls

The site says 'male lap dance'. I have seen a male lap dance! I paid for the hen to have one at a hen night! They are not a figment of my fevered imagination I promise you.

divasrtop, there was a show on tv last year that took a group of women and did alot of very interesting tests on them regarding sexuality. (i can't for the life of me remember what it was called, it was on C4 i think).

one of the tests they did was to show the women a series of clips on a screen and measure their sexual arousal watching these clips.

all of the women showed a heightened sexual arousal for any images containing sexualy explicit images or attractive men or women. they even showed some sexual arousal watching images of primates having intercourse.

although not conclusive as the sample group was only about 12 women it was every interesting and did throw up questions about the whole 'only men are aroused visually' theory.

well hopefully then,if the sex industry is here to stay,we will get to the point where there are as many male lap-dancing clubs as female ones;as much womens porn as mens,and equal amounts of rape,sexual assault and domestic abuse on both men and women.

Yes excellent point Divastrop the more sexual abuse the better

x-posts

So Dittany do I have a sense of entitlement to men's bodies? I have after all been to a male stripclub.

Yes and yes.

And on the stag nights my male friends have been on they also pooled their money for the stag's lap dance...although I can't see how relevant that is...

I think a lot of assumptions are made about men and lapdancing/porn/strippers.

Yes the statistics quoted earlier COULD be read as showing lapdancing clubs increase the incidence of rape (or reduce it, depending on which years you take the statistics from).

I have read another statistic which says that there is a higher incidence of rape when it is sunny.

Presumably you do not wish to blame rape on the weather.

Women go to see men strip and some do get lapdances from men.

There have been a number of studies which indicate that a greater access to pornography reduces the incidence of rape.

Yes, some men do go to strip clubs. Yes, some men do rape.

But I am yet to see anything that convinces me that there is a correlation.

I do resent this idea that men are out of control of their sexual desires, and a glimpse of breast will turn them into the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper.