Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

evening all, mental busy here getting ready for holiday.

ginny, bummer about car. i have just put a new exhaust on for £140 at kwik fit. my MOT is due soon too.

i think the electrics are up the spout too, the windows will operate without power which i don't think is how it should be

baffy how're you doing?

watch out for a friend of mine who might pop in and say hi (susiecutebananas). she's local to me and has joined my West London crowd (Kewcumber etc) and has scarily similar H to mine.

told her to pop in and say hello and reap some of your wisdom and support.

off on hols tomorrow so might not be on too much.

lily, nice one! well done dd!

Have a fab time PC.
Just heard that car will cost £167 so not quite as bad as I thought. Just took boys shopping for school shoes and trousers etc. My credit card is smoking!!!!

Baffy how are you today?

PC have a wonderful holiday

Just logging on quickly to say I'm ok. Can hardly get on in work anymore, they're stopping all personal internet access and monitoring it!

Time for a new job maybe...

I'm doing ok. Am going out with the girls tonight. Then I'm going to fly out to my dad's place tomorrow afternoon until middle of next week. It's ds's birthday on Tues so he'll be surrounded by his family and I can put all thoughts of H out of my head. Bummer though as I don't have enough holidays and also, need to be in work on Thursday, so will have to come back on Wed. But at least I'm getting away.

I'm doing fine. Still angry. But not sad. So I think it's a good sign. I want better. And will find it!

Hope you're all ok and sorry haven't got time to catch up. See you soon xx

PC have lovely hol

Suppose it could have been worse Ginny. I just got ds school shoes today too he saw the first pair in the shop tried them on liked them £38 and 5 min later done (aah typical man shopping) I was saying ooh try these etc. he said no i want these ones! Glad you managed to get some sort of reconciliation with him hopefully he will leave it now ?

Baffy have nice time at dads and esp on Tue for ds. What have you got him ? Is h still going to wedding this weekend or not ? Has he been in touch ?
Pain about work and internet mines like that too

LL hows things ? Hopefull for another good night here with dd
DP got next week off now, starting new job wk on Tue, paid until middle of week so hoping to do few CHEAP days out!

Have good weekend all

thanks all, i am exhausted and surrounded by a million bags! how the feck i am going to get them all down 2 flights of stairs and car loaded with dd in tow I have no idea!

the drawback of SC is taking all your food/cleaning stuff etc. same toil/different location LOL.

baffy, glad you're getting away. hope you have a lovely relaxing time.

ginny, hope you have fun tonight.

lily, hope dd sleeps well again too.

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PC and Baffy have a great holiday
Baffy - glad you and ds will be surrounded by your family at this time. Hope he has a lovely birthday Will he be 4? The anger is healthy. Yes you deserve better. Don't go for a Spanish guy though (holiday romance) - Mummy's boys!! Ok so I'm generalising Enjoy your girls night out

Lilyloo - hello hope you have lovely week with dp and the kids. Lots of cheap things to do. Where do you live? Hope your dd sleeps better tonight. Not boasting but I think I probably know better than anyone else on this thread what it's like to deal with children who defy sleep Don't ask me for tips though. I have tried everything

Ginnny - how are you hun?

LL don't envy you then
touch wood she still asleep (fingers crossed)
We in Lancashire !

Hey!
I'm feeling good today. X gave me a lift to the garage to get my car this morning and it was nice to have a conversation with him that didn't end in a slanging match.
I didn't even react when he said he was going to the pub to watch the football, just said "have fun".
He did apologise for everything yesterday, and he seemed like he meant it .
He says he is going to start training again and going to the gym, which will be good for him but I'll believe it when I see it.
I know that we can't be together again ever, but I'm hoping we can be civilised now and get on.
Baffy - have a great holiday and hope ds has a lovely birthday.

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I have just been reading a couple of threads by humanbean and feeling very hostile toward men right now. Glad h is out with ds.

We had a bit of a row the other day, in part not helped by me having had a few glasses of wine. Was ok the next day though.

Met h and ds yesterday in my lunch hour. Then ds went into a model shop and bought a bendy bus with his birthday money. He's a bit of a transport geek and has been playing with it non-stop ever since, which is sooo cute. He even wanted to take it to bed with him last night. It was reduced from £50 to £15. At the former price I think it would have to be a museum piece rather than a toy

Hope everyone manages to have a nice weekend. Off to do a bit (emphasis on bit) of housework.

Hi all

Well i am back - and very very brown!

The holiday was great - although too much 'thinking time' and all the bloody books i seem to read have affairs in them.

I feel as though at the moment i am 'waiting' for something to happen but i am not sure what. I think i am waiting for the children to return to school and them my life will hopefully have some direction that i will have control over.

H is being fantastic but i think he has noticed that i am a bit quieter than usual. He is doing all the 'right' things.

Havent caught up completely but having read the last couple of post it sounds as if baffy is facing a life alone. i will try and read as much as i can before the weekend is out.

Until then - have a happy weekend.

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Glad you had a good holiday hw at your tan. I am pale and interesting IKWYM about reading books with affairs in them. Luckily for me I prefer biographies or thrillers but affairs are everywhere in fiction or RL. What are your plans when the kids go back to school?

Dior - it's interesting that he finds it hard to pay you compliments. Maybe he was raised by overly critical parents and finds it hard to give praise. My dad was overly critical. I find it easy to give praise but not to receive it. I suppose it can go either way. I remember when I got 19/20 spellings correct. He went on and on about the one I had got wrong. My mum told him to get over himself

hello everyone. I'm back from hols too. HW, glad you're so brown! I don't do brown, just pale and interesting like LL! Not that there was much chance of getting brown on my hol, the weather was v. changeable. STill, we had a good time.

I know what you mean about affairs being everywhere in life and fiction. Can't bloody get away from it even when you're trying to escape into someone else's story.

Baffy, I've kind of grasped what's going on. Oh hon, you are amazing. I know this isn't going how you'd hoped, but it is better to know now than to wait another couple of years. How has your weekend been? I so feel for you, I am so afraid that my h isn't going to fall for the distant and interesting withdrawal method, I think I can understand a little how you must feel. I am sending you big cyber hugs.

Dior, does your h really understand how his remarks hurt you? Are you able to tell him? Will he listen?

I am maintaining the calm, beautiful, distant approach. Never been through so much mascara (waterproof of course!). Had discussion with h before our hols about divorce, which I brought up, not him. and he didn't go for it, wants to remain separated. Cake and eat it?? I think I wrote that before. I said I want his stuff out of the house. Let's see if he does it.

V tired tonight, but planning a holiday to Rome/Madrid with a friend, which is taking my mind off things, and I'm actually quite excited. I wouldn't be able to do it 'normally'.

Welcome back HW and UC. Enjoy your tan while it lasts, mine is already fading
UC - keep at it with the distant approach. It will make you feel better in the long run and I think its encouraging that he doesn't want a divorce yet, maybe he hasn't quite written you off as much as he makes out.
I've had a good weekend, everything I planned went out the window but still managed to keep busy.
Going to be difficult next week as the boys are going away with their dad on Thursday for a week and I'm going to really miss them. X is being nice again, and I'm going to have to be extra strong not to weaken when I'm down and on my own. I'm fully expecting him to try and see me but I've made lots of plans. It will be tough being on my own in the house for the whole of the bank holiday weekend though.
Dior - I think he doesn't realise how much his 'jokes' hurt you. And what's that about you getting too big for your boots? It seems that every time you get some confidence in yourself he tries to take it away. Maybe he's insecure.

Glad you had good hols HW and UC

Glad you had a nice holiday UC Interesting that h doesn't want a divorce. Sounds like he's not sure what he wants. That would make sense I suppose if he's going through a mid-life crisis. Hope it's not too late if he finally decides he does want you. Your calm, beautiful self may have attracted a dishy new bloke who has a few more scruples

Ginnny - stay strong my love. Don't get on that rollercoaster again

Just spent last 2 hours catching up with all the news.

Yes i should be washing and unpacking suitcases but they will get done anyway .

Baffy - so sorry it has come to this - i think he does still love you in his own way but that is not the way you need to be loved. You are a fantastic person who was willing to forgive him of so much and yet he still cannot find it in himself to do even the similest thing for you. You were so right to 'expect' him to tell her and make it known what he wants. I understand that he needs to show that he is putting you first and not only 'putting up' with you for ds. I still feel some resentment to ow as h i feel allowed her to believe he had only come back for the dc. I know ultimately is does not matter what she thinks - but i would have been happier for her to KNOW that he came back because he loved ME. Actions do speak louder than words though and she should have got the message by now.

Lush - understand about not wanting to celebrate aniversary now - you will make more new memories that no-one will be able to take away from you though. I still dont wear my wedding ring - i will often wear the ring he had made for me instead on my ring finger. But the wedding ring now has little sentimental value. H does not like it - but i really dont care - my vows and the wearing of my ring really meant a lot to me - but it was no protection was it.
The thing that finally made me realise i wanted to be with h and give us a go was whilst we were away just the two of us and i felt as if i wanted to share my life with him until we are both old and grey - it was a warm feeling and i knew i had done the right thing in trying to move forward together.
I still find it difficult at times but i dont feel bad that i have a few douts - and in some ways i will only stay whilst i feel like that - i have far less loyality to sticking together no matter what than i used to.

McD - hope you are ok - i think i too would wish he would just go and hang himself too. At least then you could move forward with the 'good' memories - instead you still have to have him messing up your life. I hope you are still going ahead with the divorce - to protect you and the girls.

UC - glad you had a good holiday - will try and catch up with emial soon.

Dior - with being a stone lighter - i put on again what i had lost so am back to square one again. But have bought myself some new gear to get fit in.

Tannee - hope you enjoyed the festival - we got held up in traffic queues on our way home.

Ginny - you are doing so well and really do not need this uncertainly all the time - he knows what he needs to do just like baffys h - but still cannot quite do it.

PC - do take care of yourself - you have been fighting for so long now and as you say not sure if you want the prize anymore - dont feel bad if you now 'let him down'

Hi to everyone else
Have a good week

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hi all, I just spent ages with DS wrapping up h's present from our holiday, along with 8 photos of them and even one of the three of us on holiday. DS can then give it to him as a gift when he sees them. I think he really missed being on holiday with us and it will do him good to see the smiley pictures. Ha.

Dior, a stone is so fab. Well done!

UC
Any pics with hunky men hanging around in the background too would be good .
Of course he missed out - he never really wanted to miss any of the action.

You have done so well in making some good memories for you dcs, they really are the only things that count (memories that is).

Been to the gp today - refered on for more tests - things still not 'right' after the loop thingy. Bit scared tbh. But also angry as it just focuses back on the sex again.
And i feel bloody annoyed that people say things like 'isnt your h lovely to be there for you' i feel like screaming 'well it may have been his dicking around that caused this in the first place - so its the least he can do to take some time off work to look after his children while i go and put my feet up (in the gynae clinic).
I am really not sure i want him around if i have to have more treatment - and certaninly not if he is going to get 'brownie' points for it too .
The very thought of sex at the moment seems to make my blood boil.

Anyway rant over - off to be selfish and watch what i want on tv now - he can do bath and bed tonight - as he is being so bloody good to me.

Totally understand how you feel hw but honestly how very dare you contemplate putting your feet up at they gynae clinic. No luxuries for you Madam. And what if he did give you an unwanted present of an unspeakable nature?? Does that give you the right to complain? I think not! You must suffer in silence and take it on the chin like a good wife. In sickness and in health. Don't you remember your vows? And what's all this about not feeling like having sex? Fulfil your wifely duties and no more whinging.

Guess who's feeling a bit cynical and jaded Oh Happy Anniversary to me - and my poor mate's mum who's husband fucked a local 'lady' and gave her an STI, then brazenly lied about it in big style, blamed it on her and best of all..............didn't even apologise. Oh yes, I love men right now