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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Came across an email in deleted items of computer.

53 replies

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 20:46

Email is to a work colleague from DH. "Hello. I am sending you this email from home. Did you enjoy the such and such film?"

The film (DVD) belongs to my sister - she lent it to us. On the phone a short while ago I ask him "Where is the such and such DVD?" "I lent it to someone at work." says he. "Who?" says me. "Martin!" says he.

Why is he fibbing I just don't get it?

I am especially as the day he sent the email to her home email from his home email he was working from home and told me how busy busy busy he was. I ended up taking the children out to get out from under his hair.

He is out currently at some networking thing - he is probably fibbing about that too.

Please advise soonest.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 10/07/2008 20:47

Message withdrawn

Beetroot · 10/07/2008 20:49

not srue of the problem

Maybe Martin lent it to the woman?

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 20:50

icod - whaddya mean "do"? Is this normal behaviour for a forty something man?

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 10/07/2008 20:51

Message withdrawn

edam · 10/07/2008 20:52

I don't really see what the problem is. Your dh lent a video to a colleague. OK, he lied about which colleague and that's worrying - but is that because you are a very jealous person and it's just too much bother to be honest?

Unless there are a whole heap of other incriminating emails, I don't think your dh has done anything wrong.

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 20:56

I know who she is. She is a single woman who works with him who tells him lots of stories about her disastrous love life. I did onece tell him I found his conversations about her hopeless love life very boring.
I think I told him it was a bit inappropriate (he was at the time her boss). And he did shut up.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 10/07/2008 20:57

What sort of dvd was it? If it was a soppy it ouwl d be totally different to Bruce Lee crap...

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 20:58

Edam - thanks.

OP posts:
harpomarx · 10/07/2008 21:00

so perhaps he just concealed the dvd loan cos you have made it clear that you don't approve of his having a relationship (other than professional one) with her?

doesn't get my alarm bells ringing (and I was married to an extremely deceitful person )

Bbbee · 10/07/2008 21:02

dunno tbh - am cynical but cannot see much wrong here.

I think i tell loads of lies like this but not paying attention.

Trebuchet · 10/07/2008 21:02

Bit of a knob for claiming to be busy when sending needless emails, but more annoying than suspicious I would say.

FluffyMummy123 · 10/07/2008 21:03

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 10/07/2008 21:05

maybe they are jsut passing it round the office

what dvd is it?

Bbbee · 10/07/2008 21:07

yes, am interested in the dvd - what is it?

are we talking harry potter, brief encounter, lovers guide, bambi?

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 21:08

Bridges of Madison County

OP posts:
Remotew · 10/07/2008 21:08

It may be that he knows you are not happy if the relationship spills over with this woman so he lied about who he lent the DVD to because of that. He may just be on the internet at home and a bit bored. I think you need more evidence to worry.

zippitippitoes · 10/07/2008 21:09

i can see all sorts of perfectly innocent explanations tbh

like he lent it to martin martin passed it on to woman

woman emails him to say martin lent me that film

he emails back to say did you enjoy it

this would just be normal work relationships

unless it is cocksuckers ball or something

Flum · 10/07/2008 21:10

If you don't want things to all blow up in your face and want to stay married I would probably try to forget about it and buy a new push up bra and lipstick.

Or in reality I would probably go through his mobile, emails, etc etc, hire a private investigator too. But I would really TRY not to do any of those things

zippitippitoes · 10/07/2008 21:10

a chick flick then?

well unless they watched it together it doesnt matter too much does it?

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 21:11

We've been out together twice in the past year. Both times arranged by me.

OP posts:
Bbbee · 10/07/2008 21:13

i don;t think you should worry

Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 21:13

I'm not worried. Not in the least bit jealous. Just really farked off with crapness of it all.

OP posts:
Nomchanger · 10/07/2008 21:14

It would be a relief in a way if he was having an affair. It would be a springboard from which to spring!

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 10/07/2008 21:15

what you want to get rid of him?

Carmenere · 10/07/2008 21:16

I think that the Bridges of Madison County is one of the most romantic films ever. that would make me slightly uncomfortable.

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