Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

dh left me early this morning

305 replies

lou33 · 31/01/2005 10:34

that's it really

took his credit card, and went. Wouldn't tell me if he was coming back, refused to take his mobile, told me to tell the kids what i wanted.

OP posts:
GRMUM · 31/01/2005 17:53

so glad to hear that you're talking lou.

Original poster
lou33 · 31/01/2005 17:53

it is only him she is like this to. She has other children. She has been like it all his life, and certainly the whole time i have known him

OP posts:
blueteddy · 31/01/2005 17:53

Sorry, posts crossed.

tortoiseshell · 31/01/2005 17:54

(((hugs))) lou - just seen this.

blueteddy · 31/01/2005 17:57

Just read your post properly.
No wonder your dh is depressed after the way his mother has treated him.
Is he getting some kind of counselling?

Twiglett · 31/01/2005 17:57

Lou ,..so glad you're talking and I know that if you both want it to you can get over this

As for his mother, it does sound a soul-destroying relationship, but are you sure she can't be bothered to reply, maybe her health is interfering with how she thinks / what she remembers or maybe her reply has got lost in the ether, might it be worth telephoning her? (just a question)

whymummy · 31/01/2005 17:59

so glad he's back lou xx

cupcakes · 31/01/2005 18:14

Really glad to hear he's back.
My mother had an incredibly soul destroying relationship with her mother and there were long periods when they didn't speak. It was a huge weight that she and my father carried. I don't know if it did any damage to their relationship - I think somewhere along the line they decided that they weren't going to let her harm them or their family (I mean emotionally, not physically).
As for your dh finding out about his mother's cancer and how they (his family) have dealt with it so soon after the tsunami must have really affected him deeply.
Really hope you can work through this.

sobernow · 31/01/2005 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jabberwocky · 31/01/2005 18:38

thinking of you, lou, and hoping for the best.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 31/01/2005 18:40

Lou, I'm glad he's back and at least you're talking, it's a start. Thinking of you.

crystaltips · 31/01/2005 18:46

Hope you two can work it all out - sounds like he is hurting a lot and lashinbg out at you - probably because you are the closest to him .... physically and emotionally

Hope it get better for you all

WigWamBam · 31/01/2005 18:51

Just caught up with this, Lou, I hope that you can work it out and that things get better for you.

ScummyMummy · 31/01/2005 18:55

Just seen this- Love to you both Lou and the kids. xxx

munnzieb · 31/01/2005 18:59

oh lou ((((((hugs))))))) hopefully you will manage to sort things out, just talk and talk and talk, then when ur done talkin, talk some more, (i'm sure none of the other girls would mind if your DH was to post on here as well), at least he's home, and theres hope. MIL's can be a pain in the rear at times, so good luck with everything, and hope all works out OK.

marthamoo · 31/01/2005 19:06

I'm glad he's come back, lou - you can't talk about all this if he isn't physically there. I'm sorry I was so hard on him before (actually I was restrained ...) I was just mad at you being left in that situation, housebound with the kids and no money. I agree with the other, more understanding, MNers that he is going through a really bad time and things have come to a head. You are going through it too, so neither of you have probably had the energy to see how the other is feeling. And men don't talk (sweeping sexist generalisation) so it's hard to know what's going on in there anyway. You have a lot of history behind you, and a lot to hang on to..best of best luck in talking this through. You know where I am.

vict17 · 31/01/2005 19:07

Hope everything goes well tonight Lou. Have you considered cancelling Thailand trip until things have settled down a bit. Sounds like you and dh really need to spend time together and lean on each other if possible

sansouci · 31/01/2005 19:07

Fantastic news! I've been thinking of you all afternoon and wondering... hope you 2 can work it out. Meanwhile, much love & good thoughts.

marthamoo · 31/01/2005 19:09

And, having seen his rather delightful naked derriere, I think he is worth hanging on to. A good bum is not to be taken for granted

sansouci · 31/01/2005 19:18

and hard to find!!

princesspeahead · 31/01/2005 19:18

Oh lou, I've just seen this. I'm really sorry, and hope you can work things out. It sounds like you've started, which is great.
Do you need to go to Thailand now? Might it not be better to stay home and sort things out with your dh, and maybe go another time? I know these things are very complex, and you've both obviously been through a huge trauma that you have to deal with in your own ways, but it is worth thinking about whether you should try and work through them together, rather than separately. Anyway best of luck.

biglips · 31/01/2005 19:29

lou - im shocked !! but its sounds like that the tsunami put a nail on it on top of his probs with his mum, and your DH just went into pieces and needed some space and time to himself - hope it worked out

beansprout · 31/01/2005 19:31

Best wishes to you Lou, hope you can both work this out

Moomina · 31/01/2005 19:33

Lou, just caught up - am very glad to hear you are talking again. I hope you can keep talking and sort things out. You have both been through such a lot. Thinking of you.

Tissy · 31/01/2005 19:39

lou, just seen this; hope you manage to sort it all out xx