Do many couples attend routine medical and dental appointments together?

[momtoboys]

I have two sets of friends, both in female same sex marriages (which may not have any bearing), that attend all medical and dental appointments together. Including one of the couples goes into the dental appointment and sits next to her wife while she is in the chair having her teeth cleaned. I truly am not judging, it just never occurred to me to do that with my DH.

Do many couples do this?

Thanks.

We do the same, I find it makes it easier. Then we book the next one when we are there. Also it means if we are running late, in can drop the others off and try and find a parking space.

We mostly have doctor’s appointments online if we can.

Interesting that you read something into my post that wasn’t there. I’m glad you also have a happy loving relationship. As I said, each to their own.

i have booked our flu jabs, one after the other

I am going to have to start going with mine to some appointments because he has a hearing problem and it’s getting worse, and he’s been fobbed off a lot. Generally speaking otherwise; no but most older couples do this for practical reasons so you both understand what’s been said, or one person has more confidence than the other

No but if I think it's an important appointment with medical information I'd like to hear with my husband, then I do go. And sometimes I drive him as he doesn't drive but I go read a book somewhere.

The foot massage poster now saying her dh sits with a hand on her for crowns and a root canal? The dentist’s eyes must have been rolling back into their head. There’s the dentist, overhead light, drill and attachments, plus dental nurse leaning over the tray with cup of mouthwash on, wielding saliva-sucking thing - there is no room for a spouse unless he himself is the dentist.

All the posters citing illness/dementia/bad news - of course that’s different. It’s the daft people going as a “loving pair” to every single mortal thing. I once had the misfortune to attend a hen spa day where one hen brought her (not invited) dh who sat morosely in his anorak amongst a bunch of women in bathrobes. Twas weird and uncomfortable.

I prefer going to appointments myself, I don’t see the point of anyone else having to hang around all day especially at the hospital, my o/h is deaf so I have to go with him sometimes but he went on his own before that happened, I’m fine with my own company, I even go on holiday on my own with just my dog for company and we have the best times.

People with plans for the day tend to wait in the waiting room, the car or a local cafe no?

@momtoboys my in-laws are like this. It's weird.

Definitely not. 😂 How dreary. I have advanced cancer and Dh has literally never attended any appointments with me. Only time he’s come into the hospital with me (a few times he’s had to drive me to something because I couldn’t drive home after) was when I was having a big 9 hour surgery.

We had to leave for the hospital at 5:30am to be there for 7am, so MIL had to stay overnight to do the school run. I was going to be in hospital for 5 days after and it’s a 2 hour round trip. That time he did stay until I went in at about 8:30. Not because I needed or wanted him there really, but because he might as well since he drove all that way. The alternative would have been rushing home to spend the day trying to work with his mother stalking about the house. 😂

Really though, we have 2 kids and a business to run. It’s bad enough that one of us has to have an appointment. We certainly don’t have time for both of us to go!

Absolutely not - but we're both working full time and have a daughter together, so logistically that would be a nightmare and very impractical to schedule.
The only exception is when I have a blood test, as I faint about 80% of the time, so I need DH to drive me in those occasions (and in rare occassions actually hold me down, as sometimes I will fit) But even getting a blood test every couple of years needs more planning than I'd care to do for any other appointment.

I definitely can see it being sensible if one if the 2 partners is vulnerable in some way (i.e physical disability or mentally impaired) but I'm assuming this isn't the case in OP's example otherwise they would have mentioned it.

Just because you don’t do something, doesn’t mean it’s strange.

We tend to try a s book everyone at the same time so yes 🤷 (Dentist and opticians, not Drs)

GP and dental appointments - just a short stroll away so we go on our own. Hospital appointments we usually go together as parking is often difficult so if necessary the accompanying person can park the car while the patient goes into the hospital so they don’t miss their appointment. We wouldn’t accompany each other into the consulting room though.

We are having our flu jabs together tomorrow! Just easier as we have to drive there. I have dh take me for eye checkups. They put drops in and I cannot drive home. Other than that - no!

We never did it for our first few years together, mainly because we went to different dentists, different GP surgeries, as we worked and lived in different towns.

Over time, we've morphed into going together because it's more practical now that we live and work in the same place and have moved GP surgeries, dentists, opticians, pharmacies, etc., to the same ones, closer to home.

Now we basically go to virtually everything together, i.e. one journey, one car park charge. It's also easier to make "joint" appointments, i.e. one phone call to make appointments for us both at the same time, rather than having to phone separately at different times of the year, etc., especially when GP surgeries and dentists make it so hard to contact them by never answering the phone, not listening to answerphone messages etc (our dentists are terrible for that!).

Just booked for our flu jabs (together) next week and covid jabs (together) the week after, and our dentist appointments (together) in December. And yes, we do go into the surgery/treatment room together, but that's more because DH has had cancer for 8 years and needs help with him being unsteady on his feet due to the side effects of the chemo.

We also got into hospital/consultant appointments together because there's often a lot to talk about and things are easy to forget (i.e. forget to ask the consultant or forget what the consultant has said), so by going in together, one of us will remember if the other doesn't.

Yeah nobody said they would go into the room with you?

They’re going to the appointment with you, as in they’re driving you and either sitting in the car or they’re waiting in the waiting room with you so that you don’t have to sit bored looking at the posters for the 10th year in a row, or try not to make eye contact with people who are also bored stiff and alone.

Maybe I’ve missed something somewhere, but I didn’t ever take this thread to be about a person going into the doctors office with you, just the surgery…if someone was going into the office with you every time then I would think that would be a bit more unusual.

Do you think this is why people have had such shocked reactions, because they think that people are taking their husband right in to speak with the doctor with them? It screams of a lack of autonomy so would make sense that people would find that a bit odd, but sitting in a waiting room with you when sometimes there can be length delays and it’s nice having company is a totally different thing surely

Accompany to appointments. Started when dh was very ill and needed support both to travel to and in appointment while recovering. Reciprocated when I could not drive myself. If timing works dental appointments coincide out of convenience but not often.

That's really weird 😂

This!

We go to our dentist appointments one after another as our NHS dentist is an hour away in the nearest big town. We usually go shopping and lunch after. Means we can have a day out.
Hospital visits DH takes me to Hospital as again its in the Big Town and I hate driving there, but he waits in the car or takes himself to McDonalds.
Doctors I just go alone unless its for something I have to be accompanied for.

I am a dentist and I encourage patients to bring someone with them when anxious for 1st appt or to discuss the plan. However, during treatment I would rather them out of th room or at least sat away from the dental chair in the corner! We have had companions fainting or making things worse by saying “rather you than me” or gasping at the needle… the person whose partner massages her feet during dental treatment I’m sorry just no… no no no!

The op described person sitting in the office with patient.
Some people have said they do that too

No. It’s a bit creepy but I have a friend whose controlling DH always goes with her.

My husband has dementia, We need to go together. I can’t leave him home alone and he can’t wait outside appointment cos he wanders off!
Everyone is always very understanding. It’s not controlling, it’s essential.

I dont enjoy driving so always schedule our dental appointments together back to back so we can travel together and meet in the waiting room afterwards, for the doctor we'll sometimes go in together depending on what we're there for as we're there to support each other in sickness and health and things the doctor says can be easily missed so feel having each other there helps, obviously woman's stuff like smear he'd not be in the room but some other times we've went together only if we want each other there. When my mum goes for her appointments my dad waits in the car so really it's whatever suits the couple and no one else.