Do many couples attend routine medical and dental appointments together?

[momtoboys]

I have two sets of friends, both in female same sex marriages (which may not have any bearing), that attend all medical and dental appointments together. Including one of the couples goes into the dental appointment and sits next to her wife while she is in the chair having her teeth cleaned. I truly am not judging, it just never occurred to me to do that with my DH.

Do many couples do this?

Thanks.

Surely, unless you're both retired, that's wildly impractical?! Every appointment I've had has been during work time unless I book through the emergency out of hours GP. That would mean DH also taking time off work to attend.

DH and I also have different dentists as we both stuck with our childhood NHS dentist, and again dentist appointments are always during work time.

Anything at a hospital, yes. Anything at a GP or dentists, no. I think if I were scared of the dentists or worried about something, my dh would come for moral support but I'm not, so it hasn't come up. I actually like sitting by myself in the dentists waiting room, it feels very calm! We both have jobs, maybe if we were retired we'd wait together but I'd definitely not want him coming in with me, I feel like he'd be in the way at the dentists , they don't have a lot of space.

Not completely unusual. We don’t go together but we have different work schedules. If we had the same day off we probably would book back to back
appointments and if we did we would go in together.

You must have a lot of free time! My annual leave is precious and if not working want to be out having proper fun.

I voted yes but I suppose the true answer is mixed.

Dentist yes because she books a family appointment for us and DD. When DH had to go back for a minor procedure he went on his own though. When I needed something doing he came with me though because I'm autistic and a bit scared of dentists (albeit my current one is lovely!).

Simple GP appointment for med review or something then no, we would go alone. DH came to all my pregnancy appointments too.

My parents always attend together but now they are older there are some more complexities to their health and it helps to have a second set of ears sometimes. Assume appointments include tests or minor procedures (e.g. eye injection) where they aren't allowed to drive after so someone needs to go with them. They go on their own to the dentist though.

When one or both people work it can be difficult to get the time to go together but once retired there are no such restrictions, so why not.

I am not nervous, but I know of people who are, and even some of my friends with 18 year olds go together, so if her wife is nervous, ok. I wouldn't generally, but I have read that women (sometimes men, but often women) are more likely to be taken seriously when with someone else.

Went to doctor appointments about an ongoing issue, was brushed off. Last time, took my husband. Referred on to specialist! Coincidence? Maybe.

I don't even know where my husbands doctors or dentists is!

I was sleeping. I live on the other side of the world.

It’s absolutely true that DH will massage/rub my feet. His goal is to distract me from being nervous and tense. Other times he just has a hand resting on my foot or leg. Physical contact makes a huge difference in me being able to cope with stressful situations like the dentist. I have diagnosed anxiety. Without DH there with me I wouldn’t be getting my teeth checked. I went for about 20 years with no dental check ups. Too scared. Once I realised that I could have him with me I managed to sit in the chair and have a check up. I’ve been doing it 1-2 times a year since then and even managed a root canal and two crowns, and various fillings. He’s had awful public dentists in the past that didn’t believe him that he wasn’t properly numbed. Having me present in the room makes him feel better because he knows that I’ll advocate for him if he indicates in any way that he’s uncomfortable or unsure, and he’s more confident to speak up and advocate for himself with me there.

Rude. Be grateful that you don’t have diagnosed anxiety.

No - we are married not joined at the hip !

Its not a bad idea as you get older as if one of you has a medical emergency you can tell paramedics if there is diabetes etc. People don't always communicate correctly or fullybetween themselves.

We love being together too (love the way you imply if we can spend 10 minute apart its because we don’t love each other as much as you) but I am capable of going to the dentist alone. If we had plans afterwards my partner would wait in the waiting room.
There are many reasons someone would want someone with them- severe phobia, anxiety, hearing or memory problems, distrust but “loving each other” is actually a creepy reason

But then I would have to go back and get him, waste of time and petrol…he can come with and entertain me in the waiting room then we can do something after.

dh and i book dental and optometry appointments at the same time or at worse back to back. timesaving.
but i'm not involved we definitely have separate private appointments.

I go with my husband to appointments because he is hearing impaired and it helps him out.

No. I would find that incredibly strange. And if you need to be there at same time, for travel purposes or because appointments were booked consecutively or something, surely the other person should just sit in the waiting room and wait, rather than actually going into the room.

Obviously there are some appointments where you might require support, like if you’re about to receive an upsetting diagnosis. But I’m talking about the routine stuff, like a dental check up or hygienist appointment.

In general, when I am at my appointments, I rarely see two people going in at the same time. I live in an area where there are a large number of non-English speakers so those people might take someone in as an interpreter, but that would probably be it.

Yearly medical booked same month each year together, and a skin check, blood tests, and the dental check. Follow up appointments not necessarily together unless convenient or complex treatment and decisions etc are in play.

Live rural, 100 km from GP, 130 from dentist, 400 km from oncologist, specialists.
Makes sense re fuel, sharing drive, retaining info about on going treatments etc

Mostly no, but it can depend on the circumstances.

I did begin going to hospital appointments with my DH when we were worried he might be developing Motor Neurone Disease. He was, and we did need both of us there for support, and also because it is a life limiting illness that would impact on the whole family.

He died of it in March of this year. ☹️

Over the years of our marriage, DH did come with me for things like pregnancy scans, or if I needed another driver because I'd be having general anaesthetic, or because a broken limb meant I couldn't drive myself. Otherwise, I went on my own.

No. DH and I both work. We both book a short amount of time off for our own appointments then go back to work. I couldn’t imagine booking time of for DH’s GP appointment. That would go down like a lead balloon.

Plus we both want a bit of privacy. We stopped going in to GP / dentist appointments with DC once they hit about 16 because they could go there themselves.

The only caveat would be if there could be bad news. I went in to some appointments with MIL when she was very frail and have been in with my mum when she felt she needed a second pair of ears.

I have been with my partner 20 years in December and I can honestly say apart from baby scans and the first pregnancy hospital appointmenthe has never come with me to any other dentist or doctors appointments. Dropped me at the hospital for operations, did stay for both my c sections. But never routine appointments at the dentist and doctors, who has the time for that? It's bad enough me getting out of work to go let alone both of us.

If it was a big appointment ie cancer test results where either of us may need support when you hear the results, that is different but not a routine dentist check up

Erm no, we go on our own, the only medical appointments my partner has attended with me were pregnancy scans and to the breast clinic when I found a lump.

I think it’s quite common at the dentist for couples/families to have their check up in back to back appointments. Doctors is a strange one but a lot of older couples do this as only one drives.

I find this making a day of a dental checkup thing frankly batshit (who has the time or inclination unless they’re also being seen, or are these dentists in tourist hotspots?! Mine is on a retail park ), but each to their own!

Only not weird if the partner waits outside, aside from practical or wellbeing support, as has been previously covered .

we often take DPet to the vet together. one drives, the other sits in the back calming him and making sure he’s not carsick. it’s definitely nicer having someone else there to share decisions, because our vet is a bit trigger happy to recommend invasive (and costly) diagnostic tests which don’t show anything up and have to be repeated because maybe it was too soon to see anything on the scan so come back tomorrow (arghh).

Maybe I’m an outlier but ive been going to GP and dental appointments on my own since I was 14. Recently spent the day in a&e by myself also- took a book and a taxi there and back. DP would’ve come with, if id asked, but I wouldn’t want him to waste a day of annual leave!

Screams codependency. My mum and step dad do this and they are codependent. My mother hates him yet will sit in all his appointments, probably to gauge how close he is to the coffin I suspect.

Even worse, our dentist books us in as a family. So all 4 of us troupe to the dentist together, head to the surgery room when called and sit on chairs in the room rotating who goes on the dentist's chair. Still makes me cringe, but logistically makes sense I suppose lol.