Do many couples attend routine medical and dental appointments together?

[momtoboys]

I have two sets of friends, both in female same sex marriages (which may not have any bearing), that attend all medical and dental appointments together. Including one of the couples goes into the dental appointment and sits next to her wife while she is in the chair having her teeth cleaned. I truly am not judging, it just never occurred to me to do that with my DH.

Do many couples do this?

Thanks.

I notice the foot massage receiver has not returned. I knew that could not possibly be true.

As a devoted wife also think of it from the other point of view. DH would let me go alone (he might even prefer it if I did for woman’s issues) but I would want him and actually would be upset if he wasn’t there. I get being aware of abuse but actually my recent dealings with the NHS doesn’t really reflect the desire younger couples have to support each other’s mental health above everything else. My DH is currently unwell he’s half flopped on the sofa half on my lap, my leg has been aching for a while now but I won’t be moving until he does. It’s the comfort of being next to me which is helping him process the last few weeks and months of hell. The physical scars will heal quickly but the mental ones run much deeper and comfort is the only medicine. Millennials and younger are much more focused on mental health than my parents generation being strong and alone isn’t required.

We need time to process the last few weeks but after we heal we are actually considering how we take forward patient having the right to be accompanied to the theatre door and meet in recovery like we do for kids. DS has had surgery before and what DH has been through has had a much greater impact on our mental health than DS’s surgery. Most of that impact is to do with the way we have been treated by the NHS btw.

not for dentist but i guess in situations we may want support, my partner came to appointments with me when i had allergies testing, smear tests and needed him

Myself and husband never . My neighbours on the other hand are joined at the hip.. they do everything together he is very controlling she once told me he stands outside the toilet door . They have a rigid non variable routine and will refuse medical appointments even urgent ones if they clash with mealtimes .

Unless i was going to an appointment where i might be given awful news I Wouldn’t bring anyone with me ! I went for an endoscopy without sedation alone then drove home collecting my kids from nursery on the way. It wouldn’t really occur to me to take anyone. I suppose everyone’s different some ppl may be anxious etc

My dad only went with my mum and into the consulting room both at the doctors and the hospital because she had Alzheimers, no way would she have been able to comprehend exactly what was being discussed.

Prior to that though, they both only went to appointments alone and never went together.

My husband comes with me. As I have terrible medical anxiety. And I also don't speak up for myself. My memory can be terrible too, especially when anxious. So he's my back up voice. Some of us need the extra support. But also sometimes is nice to get the extra time together.

If I had to wait for a dentist appointment when DH and I are both free, I’d have no teeth left. Major health issues we’ll attend together, but usually go into the appointment alone. People are funny about dentist appointments, so many people are scared and need extra support.

Absolutely not and I have never before heard anyone doing this. Maybe a vaccination at the same time, but even then you go in separately as adults. Only exception is serious illness diagnosis if one wants the other there. Otherwise it seems rather controlling.

Probably been put to bed with a bobo 🤣

Our view on it is….”in sickness and in health”!

Now we are getting on, and developing chronic conditions, we look after each other, when we are ill and this extends to hospital appointments. We both appreciate it!

If it’s routine and relevant to the the both of us (dental check up, vaccination etc) then yes, we go together as whichever one of us booked it will just book the other one in too to save time/a trip. We don’t go in with each other though, the other will wait in the waiting room.
If I have to go to something routine that he doesn’t (like a smear test) then no, I go on my own.

My brother in law goes to all my sisters routine hospital appointments. It's just basic check up they are not doing anything for her.

I have a severe dentist phobia because of how my childhood dentist behaved. My previous partner couldn't have given any less of a shit about that. My now partner encouraged me to see a dentist but I could only do that if he came in with me. I couldn't have gone in alone. I so appreciate his support.

Unless it's regarding a known serious illness, I find this unhealthily co-dependent

We all Mum, Dad and 2 adult DC go to the dentist together. It just works for us. DH and I generally do medical stuff together and we try to do significant vet appointments all together.

No I don’t do this, but it’s common among older retired people, not so much working age people. Dentist so I spot the trend

Major stuff like consultant appointments for serious conditions - yes.

Routine appointments - no.

Dh did once come to the GP with me when I was off work with stress, for moral support - I was a bit of a mess and was worried I wouldn't be taken seriously. (It was a long time ago, attitudes towards mental health were very different then) She (quite rightly) sent him out of the room so she could check he wasn't the real problem.

I work in healthcare and we actually only allow the patient in. For many reasons (domestic violence, discussing symptoms without patient’s embarrassment etc), it is so much better without the partner. Occasionally you do get people with anxiety who will refuse to come in alone and we make exceptions for them (obviously that could also be open to abuse if someone was being controlled).

The only appointments ive ever attended with my dh are the 12/20 week baby scans and baby jabs (as not a fan of injections!). Never been to a GP or dentist appointment with him (I wouldn’t take him to the hairdresser’s with me so why would we go to the dentist together)😆

Wouldn't even occur to me to ask OH to come with me to an appointment unless it was something very serious.

We do go to most of DCats vet appointments together though, which tells you a lot about who we care about the most 😆😻

I don't think I will ever get the image of this woman getting her feet massaged at the dentist out of my head 🤣

Stands outside the toilet door? That is mental abuse. I’d offer her a phone number, leaflet, anything you can give her if you get time with her alone. What an absolute wierdo partner to do that!

😂😂😂

I get the dentist if you are also going with your kids, or if you both need a check up. My DH can't get a place at my dentist though so I wrangle the kids alone for the check up.

Otherwise, maybe if you were thinking it might be serious bad news or that you'd be quite rough/unable to drive home. Though I've been on quite scary A&E trips without him because we had young kids, I'd have quite liked him there for that though tbf 😅

Definitely not for routine stuff. I'm not sure it is healthy, it's quite codependent. Each to their own I guess. I like spending time with my DH and we do a lotof nice things together (like go for lunch or walk the dog) but he has to work and has hobbies and friends, as do I.

Would never occur to me to ask my DH to come to a GP appointment with me. And I don't go with him. Annual leave is precious and used for holidays and special times, not a trip to the surgery.