Partner going away with attractive 22 year old girl. Is it a bit weird or am I just being jealous/insecure.

[cheeseandhamtoastie42]

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

I would absolutely tell her to leave!!!!

Omg your friend might be dating my ex husband!

So why is your self esteem so low that you think you're better off with a shitty man like this than with no man?

Time to throw this one back @cheeseandhamtoastie42 , it is better to be single than to be treated like crap.

I had a mother like this. Really difficult not to let their anxiety affect you. No matter what I accomplished, she’d only ever ask me if I had met a man.

However, I focused on all those other aspects of life, work, hobbies, friendships, having fun. Ironically I did meet my DH through a friend. But I’m glad to have learned the lesson of how important it is to build a life beyond a partner.

Sounds like you have a lot of solid aspects to your life, which will help in stepping away.

I was on the fence until this

You can we design anywhere. USA frequently works with Asia, UK has consultants in Europe etc etc

And his business is struggling but hes booked a 3 week trip which is actually 1 week work and 2 weeks holiday? And is this young woman is she returning when the works concluded or is she holidaying too?

Why does he want to be away from you for 3 weeks if it could be 1? Why doesnt he want to take you?

I wouldnt be happy with this OP

Long story involving very shitty parents.

I was on the fence until this

You can we design anywhere. USA frequently works with Asia, UK has consultants in Europe etc etc

And his business is struggling but hes booked a 3 week trip which is actually 1 week work and 2 weeks holiday? And is this young woman is she returning when the works concluded or is she holidaying too?

I wouldnt be happy with this OP

It’s hard isn’t it.

I feel like you've focused on the wrong part of this post.

The point is that you do have to ignore the archaic, sexist attitude of your mother and focus on your actual life.

Not resign yourself to it and submit.

Is this a new relationship or have you been together a while? I’d want to meet the woman, has she got a partner?

He doesn’t sound very committed to you.

Seriously step away. Decide what you want to do and don't it, alone, not because there's no one to go with, but because that's the best way.

Learning to enjoy eating out, going for a walk, to the theater, on holiday etc etc on your own is completely liberating. Plus when you go alone you're much more likely to meet new people. Find a hobby, join some groups. Make a happy life that doesn't rely on anyone else for happiness.

Life will be good and that will attract good people, if you want them.

Or he knows he wont get business but doesn't care, because really its a holiday he wants to partially pass off as a business trip to save money? Not dissimilar to when we went to theme parks with school and had to do like 3 physics equations to explain the trip as educational?

So good to hear there are still young female employees who understand that. Exactly this. And well done for having an old head on your young shoulders!

I’ve only read your first page.
Why are you with him? You don’t need a good reason to break up with someone, the vibes are off.

The stupid thing is that I do pretty much live my life like a single person. I have an interesting and fulfilling career, I submitted my thesis for my MSc not long ago. I have child free time, disposable income and lots of friends! So the change wouldn’t be that much.

You clearly don’t trust him. I have no idea whether he has earned that distrust, but it almost doesn’t matter. If the trust is gone, the relationship is basically over.

So you're not actually his 'partner'?
Are you sure he even thinks of you as a girlfriend?

lol..i doubt a attractive 23 would look twice at a middle aged man. Relax

He's not really much of a partner if he's secretive about basic stuff, like where and when he is travelling on business (or tax deductible holiday). He's using the woman to attract business and make himself look good, at best. At worst, he is using her as a paid for girlfriend while he travels.
Is he even paying her a wage? The going away with her is the least of it really. If he's with her daily at home, they have plenty of opportunity to do whatever they want! Have you tried popping in at lunch, or joining him for part of a trip? I'd be curious about the dynamic, it's a very unusual situation.

To add to the web designer’s post. I’ve used web designers for my business going back 25 years. Never have I ever met a web designer who brought along a 22 yo sidekick. What is she bringing to the meeting?

If it was an actual firm, I’ve went to their office. If it’s freelance, I’ve looked at their portfolio and either talked the spec through on the phone or at my office.

He’s a fantasist OP with no idea how to run a business. I don’t think these are serious work trips he’s just living the life of Riley.

Can you just be on your own? Boyfriends like this - you're on your own anyway!

Honestly, the more you update the more I wonder what on earth you see in this guy. Does he have any good qualities?!

You keep answering your question in your numerous subsequent threads - he’s no good and you know it!
There are so many red flags here I don’t know where to start.
Value yourself, respect yourself and get rid of this no good, gaslighting, cheating liar. You deserve to be happier and you will be. Be strong don’t put up with this unbalanced relationship.

So why bother with him at all? Are you so materialistic that these 'grand gestures' are sustaining this relationship? That is the only positive thing you've said about him!

His "business" is just a front for travelling, he is most likely up to his eyeballs in debt, yet he still wants to "employ" a 22 year old young woman and take her with him on these completely unnecessary business trips.. he's basically buying her company as a travel companion.

With everything else you've said about him, I don't know how you even look at him to be honest.