Best friend knows something about my husband and will not tell me

[TVonyable]

My (supposedly) best friend has dirt on my husband, I’ve seen messages to confirm this, husband said at the time that revealing said dirt “would make me ill”. implored her not to tell me. This all happened at a very stressful time. Two ish years ago. I buried it, it was an awful time. Now it’s all I can think about.

wwyd?

You aren't a child that needs protecting. I'd be considering both the friendship and my marriage if they were speaking behind my back to keep me in the dark.

They have one choice, tell you or fuck off.

Of course she did! 😇

She’s not behaving like a best friend and he’s doesn’t sound like a great husband.
ultimatum time - you deserve the truth. You will never stop wondering until they tell you.

Have you actually asked her?

I got the impression that if she asked she wouldn’t be told. Then mine would be next step

Occam’s razor innit?

I'd give them both the opportunity to tell you. If they do not, I agree with you. Dump both their azzes.
In fact, if what they have been keeping from you shows them both in a bad light, STILL dump their azzes.

You deserve to know and you deserve to be treated better.

What I think happened is my friend heard something about him, it was during an awful stressful time with a relative nearly dying, I think he convinced her to stay quiet because of situation. Manipulated situation to bury whatever it was.

Tbf leading into that period I was unhappy with him going out all the time, (I also posted on here about it), she definitely was supporting the idea of us breaking up, maybe because she knew something? She certainly wasn’t singing his praises. However the tone of the messages that I saw were her very much holding this over him - like a threat.

It sounds like she slept with him then. Ditch them both!

What kind of threat? Trying to extort something from him, or do you think it's more that she's given him an ultimatum to tell you whatever it is?

Ask her

A threat of what? What did they say? What was she threatening to do, if he didn't do what?

Hard to describe the threat, the context was a falling out over something minor, she reminded him not to upset her. He reminded her to not “make me ill”. All on WhatsApp after drinks were consumed

Oh dear, this all sounds unsettling. They're blackmailing each other, using 'concern' for you as the enforcer.

I don't think I'd want this weirdness in my life, tbh. You could always try blowing it open by demanding to know the big secret - there's no enforcement if you're asking - and decide whether to ditch them both after getting to the bottom of it.

I would think they had an affair or at least slept together. She's threatening to own up and he obviously doesn't want her to hence them blackmailing each other.

they are both horrible. dump the two of them.

Are you still ill/going through the stressful time? Why can't they tell you now?

Did he have an affair with someone? Fraud (though this would have come up by now)? Gay? Your mind must be spinning.

God, they both sound awful. Do you really want either of them in your life?

He did something bad enough that would make you ill if you found out and she is blackmailing him by threatening to tell you if he doesn't fall into line.This is an utterly toxic situation with two toxic people, neither of who deserve to have you in their lives. Bin them both.

@TVonyable
Its crunch time either
They tell you the big secret
Or you tell them they're sadists to keep this hanging over your head, making you ill
And as you assume they've both done something totally illegal/immoral together you're going to the police with your suspicions..........

So, she reminded him during a minor falling ojt not to upset her otherwise she’s dump about his secret (bad enough to make you ill). What two absolute turds.

Yeah I would give them an ultimatum. They tell me or they are out of my life. The not knowing is making you ill so that “excuse” isn’t valid anymore.

It must be very bad . I would make an ultimatum and be ready to cut out