Is your dh/dp your best friend

[mysparkleismissing]

I dont feel like mine is...

We can have a whole road trip without barely saying a word to each other

I got baxk from my best friends dad's funeral and his only conversation was 'were there many people there'

Im just curious as to what's 'normal'

So where better to ask than here

If you think about it though its easy to have a best friend that you dont live with but see often. You know everything (possibly) about each other, meet when its convenient to you both, perhaps have shared interests etc etc so your time together is mostly quality time and conversations can be as free or restricted or summarized, played up or down as you like and if you do find yourself getting irritated for any reason you can go home. Ain't like that when you live together. Its a different type of friendship. You got to navigate through good and bad times together, high moods low moods, compromise, make sacrifices, sometimes having to tolerate their family friends bosses and work colleagues if they are not your type. Etc etc Pick your battles and not let life's pressures on you as a couple overtake your relationship. But equally they are going to be the first ones to support you through the serious events in life and know all the detail. If you can get through all that, still respect each other and enjoy each other's company id say they were a best friend but so is the best friend you see a few times a week, just a different type. Bit like your shoes, some are best suited for certain situations and some you can wear anywhere. All favorites in different ways. Best friend implies they are better than all your other friends which isant always true, cos there is different categories.

Yes he’s my best friend.

Ditto. DH is my favourite person and 33 years in, we have grown up together and have a history.

Absolutely, he is. I would choose to spend my time with him over anyone, I can tell him anything, we forgive each other for our weaknesses or mistakes and we have a great time together.
ironically, if you asked if my husband was my soul mate, I’d say no, my (non husband) best friend is my soul mate 😂 id kill her if we spent as much time together as my husband and I do but I truly believe we were made for one another to get each other through life. We can feel what the other is feeling, we know when the other needs us and when we need to be left alone.

I don’t really have any friends as such, and definitely not a best friend. I am a bit of a solitary person. The same with my DH, he doesn’t have a best friend for the same reason.

DH and I spend all day, everyday together. We talk, we laugh, we cry together. We like being in each other’s company and get on well. Occasionally we say that being together is like being on our own, in that we are very comfortable being around each other.

I tell him everything, even things I intend not
to tell him, he can be a bit of a big mouth, because I just have to tell him everything.
And we do laugh a lot, sometimes about the effects of his big mouth.

My sisters come closest to the role of friends I guess.

Really surprised by all the people saying their partner isn't their best friend. My wife is definitely mine.

Yes, he is. He's absolutely the best friend I have ever had in life and I love him more than anything.

He's my rock, my support and the person who has always cheered me on, listened when I've cried and been there through every triumph and failure. We are both retired now, and he's the best person ever. I could tell him anything.

We still laugh with each other every day. He's the one person I don't ever have to be anything but myself with.

i have two best friends, my DH and my girl - friend, the difference between the two is that I never get sick of spending time with DH.

Husband, lover, closest friend and confidant. I'd trust him way beyond a friend.

Not my bestie but very much the person I am so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with! Life is pretty manic at present with a new baby and new responsibilities for us both on the professional front but we still try to grab time to chat or laugh! (I do enjoy his company very much).

Exactly. I adore DH, I trust him, and enjoy his company (we got stuck in such appalling traffic this evening that a mile and a half’s drive took us an hour and ten minutes, and it was actively fun), and we’ve been a couple since our student days, but it’s a completely different relationship to friendship — we share a child, a house, finances. And absolutely both spouses should have other friends. It’s unhealthy to be someone’s sole emotional outlet.

@mysparkleismissing, can I ask gently, what is happening with you and your DH in that you can have a long car journey and barely say a word to each other?

Why is your sparkle missing?

Yes he is.
I have several close friends that I have a great relationship and have a fun time with, so it’s not like DH is my only friend but yes he would be my best friend.

Yes he is and I feel like he is the person I can count on the most in this world . He has my back . More important than ever after losing my parents . I have some very good friends but my husband is the person I am closest too.

No not my best friend. I have a lot more history with my best friend of 40 years, we have been through everything together.
i love my partner and we have a lot of fun and chats together and i would be lost without him but different to my best friend.

No,

I need a best friend to moan about DH with! My best friends are all guys too, so maybe my perspective is a bit unique.

I think there's an overlap. Both DH and Bestie should support you, laugh with you, and enjoy your company as much as you enjoy theirs...but DH gets the body, the romance, the crush, the attraction. Bestie doesn't. Some folk find someone who can fulfil both roles. Personally, I need a village not a god though.

There are different kinds of love...never confuse romance and platonic.

Absolutely is. All my relationships have been with someone I’d say is my best friend. Otherwise it’s just sex.

Why are you needing to moan about your husband?

Yes definitely.

Stay together over 25 years...you'll find out.

What a fabulous analysis

Yes, but we were friends for years before anything else. Although I do find we have less and less to talk about but I think that’s also just the awful bloody exhaustion of having small DC 😅

Wait until it’s 38 😆

I agree, some of these posts worry me a bit

@MNLurker1345 ”We like being in each other’s company and get on well. Occasionally we say that being together is like being on our own, in that we are very comfortable being around each other.”

I’m quoting this as it’s exactly what my close friend says about me. She was so puzzled by this realisation that she asked her daughter about it! So I love that you picked up on it with regards to your partner.

I always remember seeing a couple in a coffee shop sitting opposite each other, she with a book, he with a newspaper and being completely relaxed doing that. That to me is an illustration of what you’ve written: “ Being together is like being on our own, in that we are very comfortable being around each other.” I love it!