Has anyone agreed to a partner's fantasy of sex with another man?

[Ladyb50]

Has anyone on here had their husband/bf ask them to have sex with another man as it's their fantasy? My partner is desperate to watch me with another man and asks if we can go to a sex club, go dogging or join a swingers site. Have you gone through with it? Did it ruin your relationship? And did you just do it for your partner? I'm thinking if i did this it could ruin our relationship and also what would he be asking me ti do next!

What do you want @Ladyb50?

Are you only thinking of doing this because he wants you to or are you keen too? If you've said no and he keeps pestering, you need to walk away. That's coercion and it's never acceptable in any form in a relationship.

Surely he would be shagging another woman, not another man? Assuming he's straight.

I agree, it's don't get it either. I'm pretty liberal and will try most things but this baffles me as a fantasy. What happens when the woman decides she prefers the new man and leaves her husband for him? Also in this fantasy scenario is the dh watching from inside a wardrobe/hidden or is he cheering on from the sidelines and making suggestions? So many questions 😂

If your asking then you have doubts so don’t

Porn.

He saw porn with that scenario and something in it turned him on, so he started to search for it specifically, so he started to train his sexual responses into that specific scenario, and now he wants to make it even more exciting by having it hapoen to him.for real.

His DP isn't really a person in his fantasy any more, she's just a part of the scenario.

Sex should be consensual. I can’t see how you’re consenting if you’re being pushed into it

And what about you?

I notice that what you want is absent from both your posts. If you're not into it, then don't do it, and tell him to never mention it to you again.

I'm male, and have the same fantasy. Its something that me and previous girlfriends engaged in once or twice, but only because they were keen on it.

DP and I have been together for 20 years, and it came up in conversation about various fantasies we had about a year into our relationship. She said "Not a chance" and so I've never brought it up again. She has once (not in a "Lets do it" way, just as part of a conversation), and that's the only other time we've discussed it.

If your partner wants you to do this and you're not into the idea, then he's not a good guy. The whole point of it for me is watching DP have a very enjoyable experience. If she's not getting that, then what on earth is the point. He's just trampling over your boundaries to get himself off.

"Go dogging". Jesus F. Christ

For me, sex and love have never really been linked. I'd get no more jealous about DP going and having sex with someone else than I would about her having a game of tennis with someone. That's not to say I don't get jealous at all. If she was playing tennis with someone else all the time to the detriment to our relationship, then I'd be jealous, same with sex. And if she were to get feelings for someone else, then I'd be devastated.

So, with that in mind, it's just something I'd find incredibly sexy. DP is hot, sex is hot, novelty is hot, so trying something new sexually with DP is hot! I like the voyeuristic aspect of it, and I'd enjoy just being able to sit back and take it all in while DP has good sex. Be an audience to it, rather than a participant.

I know some people like a humiliation aspect to it, they like the idea that the other guy is bigger or better than them, but I really don't get that side of it.

It doesn't sound like it's your fantasy at all, so keep on saying no.

If you were both interested, then go ahead. However, I've been swinging with more than one partner and had to explain that just because they fancy another woman doesn't mean I fancy her bloke. I don't necessarily need an emotional connection, but I do need to find them physically attractive.

Thank you everyone for all your opinions, I'm not going to go through with it, I just wanted to know if anyone else was going through the same with their partner and what are they thinking/doing about. We have a colourful sex life, watch porn and dirty talk but I'm not intrested in having sex with another man for him, and I definitely do not want him to have sex with another woman which he has said he doesn't. I've just always thought if you love me why would you want me to do that!

The point is that she's as keen to shag another man as he would be.

OP I really hope you're not being pestered about this.

Exactly my point, thank you.

It's this. A lot of men watch so much porn that they can only imagine themselves as observers of sexual acts rather than participants. It's absolutely pathetic

As a fetish it has existed for hundreds of years, probably thousands.

The Cuckold Carpenter Under the Bed of His Wife and Her Lover from an 18th-century edition of the Kalīla wa-Dimna

Agree

Why do you agree though? He wants her to have sex with a man not him

@Ladyb50 I think this is such a weird thing to ask when you are in a monogamous relationship and for me personally it would be the end of that relationship. And the fact he keeps going on about would knock me sick. This would not be a man I would want to stay with and I think he’s given you a little insight to what he truly wants and thinks about you. I suspect he’s testing the waters and if you had said yes then it would be his “turn” with about another woman. I genuinely don’t understand how you can love and respect someone and then WANT them to have sex with another person whilst in a committed relationship.

Thank you for explaining. Its interesting to hear a different viewpoint :)

He dosent give a toss about you. If he did he wouldn't want to share you. Just because he can't stop thinking about it that's his problem.not yours.

Doubt it would ever end, either. If you give in his demands he would get worse.

The thing is swinging and cuckolding is a completely different mind set its a view and a lifestyle many people are happy with and enjoy your ether open to the lifestyle or not

asking advice is pointless it’s purely a personal thing it’s the equivalent of asking a room full off vegetarians if they want a pork chop

it’s a yes or a no situation