It's about me and my elderly mum - she's 90 this year - and how honest I should be with her. Sometimes I just like being a bit off-the-wall/goofy and my brother's 70th was one of those occasions. I did a silly slightly squatting pose in the group photos, which could have suggested going to the loo, but my intention was to mimic letting others behind me be seen (as a joke, as I'm 5 foot nothing). Anyway, the whole event wasn't that fun, just pleasant, and I was feeling a bit bored (having gotten a bit stressed on the way due to time constraints).
So I did the pose, with mum also in the group photo; she's very young for her age - fully able both physically and mentally, and everyone's shocked at her numerical age based on these facts. However, on and off, she reacts to me with signs of contempt (by no means always, as we can spend a pleasant day together - say once every 3 months! - without much conflict... although I do like to speak my mind in response to some of her views... )
Anyway, during the group photoshot (which wasn't in any way 'formal' but just a friendly group activity, probably suggested by a sibling who was also feeling bored!) mum very aggressively (not at all in a jokey or nice way) told me off for striking the silly pose, to which I felt obliged NOT to obey her - I'm nearly 64 for goodness sake!! I just responded by saying I like doing that, and kept my response light-hearted, though feeling that her behaviour towards me was shocking - talking to me as if I was about 4 in front of other people. Nothing was said, but, in my own mind, I think it reflected VERY badly on her character, and not mine at all.
Am I being unreasonable, given that the family will be celebrating her 90th later this year, if I ask her to have a chat with me about this, and hopefully be able to get her to apologise? Or is it reasonable, to expect some sort of apology before I'm obliged to keep it all sweetness for the celebration? The meetup to chat would be just me and her, to avoid embarrasing her in front of anyone (and anyway, they might feel obliged to take her side for an easy life).
Honestly, I think she fits the classic narcissist pattern, as she needs people to fit in with her restricted ideas of behaviour to be 'rewarded' with a pleasant attitude from her in response, and unless this can be resolved, I may end up boycotting the event - but I don't want to take it that far, as I doubt I'd get any support for that stance, and would risk falling out with my whole family for something that wasn't my fault.
I don't feel like I should let her 'get away with' this sort of behaviour and belittle me in such an extreme way! It certainly wasn't a pleasant experience, even though I knew 100% it wasn't me in the wrong - if I want to be silly, that's 100% my decision as a free individual!
Sorry this is sooo long.