Husband calling other women love after previous boundary issues

[Hol36]

We’ve had problems with my husband inappropriately texting other women in the past one instance is it getting very over friendly with him and his friends widow after his friend had died. We had dealt with that and moved on but I noticed recently that he calls women he doesn’t know Love eg women serving him etc and it makes me feel disrespected especially given our history. I’ve not bought it up with him as I feel tired of having to have these conversations with him

Love used in that way is a colloquialism, it doesn’t mean he loves them. I’d be unhappy because it’s a bit patronising, not because it meant anything.

I wouldn’t be happy with my DH calling any woman Love. It’s demeaning, outdated, patronising and quite frankly,
common.

My boyfriend calls everyone love even men. To him its just a saying. He's always done it. Nothing is meant by it. Hopefully thats the case here and that he dosent mean anything by it

Oh dear - he was supporting a widow and calls people ‘love’. He sounds like a decent bloke to me tbh.

Where I live everyone is called love, men call men, women and kids love and vice versa so for me it’s normal

I think calling a woman Love , especially if they are doing a job and serving a man, is extremely patronising. It used to be regarded as normal behaviour but now is so outdated. I would think any woman your H does this with will be extremely irritated.

The messaging other women and being over friendly with his friend's widow is another matter. You say you thought you had both moved on but it's pretty clear you haven't. You don't trust him. And with good reason.

I was on the train yesterday, and the conductor was calling everyone darling. I don't like being called love or darling or the like by strangers, but it is common in some areas/some people so I wouldn't be worried particularly. I mightask him to stop because I don't like it to me, though.

You’d be outraged round where I live then! It’s a very well used term and not at all demeaning, patronising, outdated or quite frankly… common.

It is patronising to the women he calls "love", but doesn't mean he is in love with them and it wouldn't bother me in a "partner is too friendly with other women" way.
However, if this is your boundary, then it is down to you how you deal with it. If you've told him he's not to do it, otherwise xx will happen, then you need to follow through with the xx

"Quite frankly, common". 🤣

Your problem isn’t your DH referring to women as “love”. Don’t miss the wood for the trees OP.

Common 😂 You sound like Hyacinth Bouquet!

What about if it’s the woman who’s doing a job calling a customer ‘love’?

I worked with someone who called everyone, men and women, sweetheart, he was a really nice man so no one thought anything of it, it was just part of his really lovely personality.

The lady at the petrol station I use always calls everyone, male or female, darling.

I'd only object if she suddenly started calling me an old bag or something when serving me.

Men & women can be friends
They can call each other Love without a sexual context.
Ok.
Gosh Some women are very insecure.

I call everyone love, if that’s common then so be it. Rather call everyone love than be a stuck up cunt.

Absolutely this 😂

Loads or reasons not to call strangers “love”. Disrespecting you isn’t one of them-unless there’s more to this.

OP - there are serious trust issues resulting in the need to control and try and prevent anything happening. This is not a healthy relationship.

This is completely normal saying in my area love, mate, duck whatever shoots out your mouth first really I don't think any actual thought goes in to it. When you say inappropriately texting what to you mean? Is he messaging sexual stuff or do you mean its inappropriate in your opinion for him to message any female.

I was going to reply with similar thoughts but you’ve expressed them perfectly!

I call people of both sexes Love. It's a Northern thing and very common . It's just a friendly thing and not sexual .

Approximately where do you live? I've never heard of men calling each other love

Hi Hyacinth!

I quite like it when strangers (male or female) call me ‘love’. I don’t take it to mean they are developing a crush on me. The only time I object is when it’s a leery bloke shouting ‘ALRIGHT DARLING’ across a lane of traffic (hasn’t happened for a couple of decades tbh), but there’s a clear difference between that and general bonhomie.