Husband calling other women love after previous boundary issues

[Hol36]

We’ve had problems with my husband inappropriately texting other women in the past one instance is it getting very over friendly with him and his friends widow after his friend had died. We had dealt with that and moved on but I noticed recently that he calls women he doesn’t know Love eg women serving him etc and it makes me feel disrespected especially given our history. I’ve not bought it up with him as I feel tired of having to have these conversations with him

Il don't understand the pearl clutching here.
Being called Love or using it yourself is a totally normal, colloquial expression; friendly non sexual and unthreatening.
OP, this is not your problem. l would say you need to concentrate on his inappropriate texting and his 'over friendliness' towards other women such as the widow you mention.

Well I’m a born and bread rural southerner and have called people ‘love’ , ‘my lovely’ , sweetheart, all my adult life and am also addressed as such. I would be extremely offended to have these friendly colloquial names and phrases removed from our lexicon by women who think they know better . I think it makes my small part of the world and kinder and friendlier place. Long may it continue.
OP. If you can’t police someone else’s language. If this upsets you then it’s a ‘you’ problem. There are only two options you can make. Learn to embrace it or leave the person who makes this an intolerable part of your life .

So many don't like being called love, darling, sweetheart, lovely, munchkins, chicken, (children) etc.
Honestly I love being called love and I call everyone love or lovely too. Couldn't get arsed about it. Don't find it patronising or misogynistic. Realistically I have bigger fish to fry and my energy to be pissed off is finite.

Where I’m from everyone is love too, at my mums everyone is duck, no one gets offended or concerned

Depends where you live and what he normally does. Where I live calling a woman love is completely normal, respectful interaction. It's not being over friendly or inappropriate in the slightest. When my DH goes to other parts of the country likewise he will call strangers 'love'. If your DH has never done this bedy then maybe ask why now? The issue with his friends wife is maybe more nuanced but on the face of it sounds like he was being a nice bloke...If it got sexual then obviously he needed to back off. If a shoulder to cry in then she probably needs it. Have you stepped up now you have told him to stop? She will still need support from somewhere.

You’re obviously not from The North.

I'm from Wales. We call everyone love. It would be strange to get irked by that.

Charlie Williams, a comedian from Barnsley, called everyone love.

Very well used where I live (up north). My DH does this and I don’t bat an eyelid!

I think the content surrounding the "support" For his df widow is probably important and maybe suggests it had more intentions attached.

Personally I hate being called Love or Darling by any man. My BIL calls me sweetie 🤮🤮 makes me want to puke. Round here we get bab. My name is just fine 🤣

Im not from the north and hear guys call people love often

Being called duck is common where I live and my lovely friend calls everyone flower x

Not to me it isn’t as long as the context isn’t demeaning. Said as a term of endearment in every day use I have no issue personally so I really don’t need anyone else getting offended on my behalf. Absolutely fine to not like it for yourself but don’t speak for all women please.

No they wouldn’t actually. Plenty of women, myself included have no issue with it. I wish other women wouldn’t try and speak on my behalf. It certainly isn’t outdated and very commonly used in real life. And funnily enough no one seems to throw a strop over it . Just politely request someone not to call you that if you personally don’t like but don't speak for others.

Similar here. When I first heard my DH calling over men love I was like wtf but then I thought it sounded nice. He likes to come across as kind.
I don't use it I used to hate my stepdad calling me darling when I was a kid but now I seem to call my grandkids darlings and sweethearts all the time.
Sometimes younger people say it when they're serving me and I just think they're trying to be pleasant and I now appreciate it more than I used to cos there are so many miseries about who just grunt.

If the sexes were reversed here I bet the answers would be different. Personally I think the op is being controlling by trying to police her husband’s language. If she doesn’t trust him for whatever reason then that is a different issue.

We must all be common where I live love !!!

I love when we go visit family in the West County, going to loval
pub for lunch and getting asked “alright my lover, what can I get you ?”

Love, Hen, Pet, Duck, Bab, all regional variations, what others have I missed ?

Omg what is it with people assuming they speak for others? I can assure you them I certainly don’t mind it and am not just putting up with it. Even on this thread someone else has admitted to liking it. Please stop assuming everyone thinks like you do on this. Women have far bigger fights to deal with than this. According to you I should have pulled up a poor guy whose mother was dying when he called me it even though he was just being polite and friendly. Don’t tell others what they should think.

Normal for people where I live.

I'm not speaking for others. I said I would think women would find it irritating. That is totally different from ALL women find it irritating.
You are entitled to enjoy guys calling you Love if it makes you happy but I think it's patronising.

I do think it is probably a regional thing. When I moved to Glasgow women were traditionally addressed as " Hen" ( and the guys of course were all Jimmy or Big man) Now it's common to be addressed as " Pal". I can't say as I enjoy being called Pal but it's preferable to Love or Hen.

Where I live it’d seem rude if you didn’t call someone Love.

😂

Don’t come to the North, everyone is “love”, “cock” or “cocker” is also used in the same way