Husband calling other women love after previous boundary issues

[Hol36]

We’ve had problems with my husband inappropriately texting other women in the past one instance is it getting very over friendly with him and his friends widow after his friend had died. We had dealt with that and moved on but I noticed recently that he calls women he doesn’t know Love eg women serving him etc and it makes me feel disrespected especially given our history. I’ve not bought it up with him as I feel tired of having to have these conversations with him

Well I'm a southerner, London born and bred, and I love being called Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Dear etc by either sex. I find it's mostly women older than me who call me these things though, and it's a shame if some men have been put off using terms of endearment by permanently offended women.

This is a very common, as in normal, thing to do, it’s a turn of phrase.

im honestly not sure if you’ve jealousy and controlling behaviour issues or he’s a flirt, as im not seeing helping a widow and calling women love as an issue.

can you give better examples as other wise it looks like a you problem.

Is Liverpool far enough north?

I’ve never heard men in Liverpool address other men as love!

@buffyajp, get over yourself. I wouldn’t,
couldn’t and don’t speak for you. I don’t know you and even if I did I wouldn’t. I said “I don’t think…” my opinion! I am allowed my opinion.

I don’t know how we get from someone giving their own opinion, to accusations of speaking for all of womankind or you?

And I do not like being patronised by certain types of men that call me love. I do not associate any sexual connotations to it, I am just not a “love”. You do, so what !

Hinny, flower, darling, dear, petal

Blimey, never move up North

You would seriously hate it up north!

North west . I live in Cheshire now and we call each other love here too .

Are you a man?

As I said upthread - I've never heard of a man addressing another man as Love

Ayup cocker!

I worked with one chap who used to say "how are you me old mucker".

I've just looked it up and apparently it can mean someone who removes dirt and waste especially from mines or stables

or

a friend or companion

I do hope it was the latter meaning 😆

North east.
DH calls everyone (including men) "love" and a whole other range of names

Well there may be issues but I don’t think calling someone Love is it. I’m 56 and call various friends this and have now started to use it deliberately on younger men who serve me in shops and cafes etc. I feel like I’ve slightly earned the right. I very much doubt I’m common…. I live in Surrey.

Calling everyone love is just habitual for some people, it doesn't mean anything - your real issue is him being overly friendly with other women, what happened there?

How can you have “just noticed recently”. Do you mean he never used to do this and has just started doing it? As that is very strange behaviour to suddenly out of nowhere start calling people “love”.

Or do you mean he’s always done it but only recently has it started bothering you. Which l is somehow even stranger - what’s this really about?

As someone else has said, it's a common colloquialism. A lot of men call women 'love' and men 'mate'. It's old fashioned but doesn't mean he loves them. More of a concern is him texting other women. Is he still doing it? Also, what do you mean about 'inappropriate' texts with the widow? My DH died a couple of years ago and his best friend texted me regularly for a while. There was nothing inappropriate in the texts, it was just his way of sharing his grief and being a good friend to my DH by checking in on me. It started to tail off naturally after about 12-18 months, though he may send an occasional one on DH birthday, or the anniversary of his death.

I am in the same boat

It is common as inused widely in.many areas. Where i am from it is not unusual for the older generation to call everyone cock or cocka- nowt suggestive in this.

But a husband should not do it

Don't be silly.

Calling the shop assistant love doesn't suddenly become infidelity at marriage.

Love normal here too. Not just to young pretty women.

I hear a lot of hun too which makes my teeth itch but this is from people who mean well so I try not to show my instinctive reaction.

I'm from South Yorkshire. Men call other men love. I worked with someone who moved here from another part of the country, and said he nearly punched a man who called him love, as he thought he was coming on to him. This was in the 1980's, so different times and all that, but I guess it highlights how "outsiders" may not understand that everyone gets called love, regardless of the gender of either of the people.

You should walk around Kathmandhu - it's a common thing for Nepali men to walk around holding hands.

Very common in South Yorkshire.

I think physical contact between men in the west was a lot more common in the past, walking arm in arm etc.

As I understand it, the trial of Oscar Wilde was a bit of a watershed moment in society where men became terrified to touch each other. Sad.