Partner wants relationship with pregnant woman after one night stand

[Gare22]

Sorry if this is a long one…
after getting out of an abusive marriage about 4 years ago, I met my new partner online. Up until recently we’ve been together 2.5 years.
its been a breath of fresh air, really happy and seemingly no problems.
That is until back in June he confessed he’d had a one night stand and the woman is pregnant. This shocked me to my core as I thought we were so happy and he said he had no problem with me or our relationship and it was a moment of regret. I was willing to work through it if she decided not to keep the child and we have been on a break but keeping in daily contact since. However, he has no children and this has made him realise how much he wants a child. (We are both in our 40s and I have teenage children) A few days ago I spoke to him and he said she would only keep it if he has a relationship with her and that he will do whatever it takes in order for her to keep the child. For context he is from a completely different culture where this may be more expected.
However, my brain just can’t compute that he would throw our relationship away for someone demanding a relationship.
He has behaved in a way that we would be able to work through it so I’m shocked that this is not the case.
I feel more heartbroken by this than my marriage ending because it’s so much more of a shock. I thought I’d found my happy relationship. I don’t want to be single but I don’t know how to get over this heartbreak and start yet again.
my ex husband is still trying to financially control me and put me through hell and I’m also caring for a child going through a mental health crisis. I can’t take much more!
Any advice, hope, experience or motivational messages would be very much appreciated.

Im so sorry he cheated on you.
This betrayal of trust must be so painful.
The "friend " he had a one night stand with (wether thats true or not is hard to know) is unwise to demand a relationship for keeping the baby.....i dont believe this .
He is unwise for suggesting he can or has to do as she wishes because he wants her to keep the child.....i dont beleive this.
I think hes been cheating on you regularly with a woman he has been promising the world to and the narrative of just the once,i want the baby so i have to do as she says is just to keep you in the wings as an option.
All an absolute mess.
Im sure you are upset at such a betrayal but am glad you have accepted it done.
You have had dodged a bullet.

I'm really sorry. What a scumbag. I doubt she's pressuring him with an ultimatum tbh.

You’ve only been together a few years and he’s already cheated. Why do you find this acceptable?

Get rid of him.

@DelphiniumBlue I don’t find it acceptable, that’s why I finished it.

So very sorry you are going through this. I would leave him. For all you know, he might even have done it deliberately to get a child. Maybe it's more than a one night stand. This mannl is a cheat and you font need him in your life.

OP has ended it.

At least read OPs replies before stamping in with your big bovver boots trying to shite all over someone who's already going through a shit time, FOR GOD'S SAKE...

Oh OP
what a horrid situation
of course you have the done right thing,
you’ve ended things with him -
would he have aimed to keep both women on the go if u hadn’t finished it ????
anyway, his true colours are clearly grim -
you are so much better off without him x

Nothing new to add, OP, I just wanted to offer some support. It must have been a terrible shock to find all this out, but well done for having the strength and the self esteem to demand better for yourself and end it!

You only have so much to give and you have a lot of people that need you right now. The last thing you need is a partner that is an emotional vampire with a wandering dick and baby mama drama. His one night stand is welcome to him, men like this bring nothing but trouble.

I don't believe this was a one night stand. I think he was having a relationship with this woman, and still is. I imagine he will stay with this woman and raise the child, and try to continue with you, feeding you a story that he is only with her for the sake of the child.

Run for the hills and raise your bar. Being single is a million times better than being with someone who casually shags other people behind your back. Leave him to his mess and concentrate on your children.

And what about the innocent baby in all this?
Why don't you want to be single OP?
This situation is a non starter for you..
Please get out and work on your self esteem.

After everything you have been through in the past and everything you are going through now with your children. You deserve to be happy. You only get once chance at life, don’t waste it with this person. There is someone out there who would never dream of treating you this way, but even if you never find them, happiness isn’t defined by having someone next to you in bed every night.

Let him go

He only told you about his 'one night stand'
Because she became pregnant.
This is more than likely a longer term affair and more than likelynot the first one.
He slept with someone unprotected then crawled back into your bed...

Move on

Huh?

Where has OP said she find it’s acceptable?!

Her entire post is about being heartbroken that he’s done this and how she thought she found a good one.

Nothing she has said implies she’s anything but devastated with his actions.

OP is single?

OP: 'He has behaved him a way that we would be able to work through.'

You mean it’s amazing the shit some women will tolerate.

Why would this be a happy story?

Sounds more like a lesson in humiliation.

In all honesty, I think it's concerning that you "don't want to be single" - clearly, this attitude has resulted in you choosing shitty men. Because it's more important to you to be with somebody, anybody, than waiting it out for a decent man.

Also, the fact that your child has a crisis + you have so many other things to deal with, but you're still more concerned about being in a relationship then everything else, is not a good position to be in. It makes you vulnerable and blinded to red flags.

Maybe give relationships a break for a while, until you've sorted some things out in your life. Including your own discomfort around being single.

@DelphiniumBlue if you’re going to give a harsh response to someone who is clearly hurting, at least take a couple of minutes to read OP’s posts first!

@LejlaKapovic you have no right to tell me I’m more concerned about my relationship than my very sick child. My children are and always will be my priority, but I’m not a robot and I’m allowed to be upset that someone I loved betrayed me.
Also, yes I have made some shitty choices with 2 men - 1 of which was an abusive marriage I was in for 20 years.

@CelticSilver where did I say I wanted the pregnancy to end?

Came here to say that…he was having an affair and got caught out, so claimed it was a one night stand. I mean who wants a relationship with a man they had a one night stand with…this woman will have said that she is no longer willing to be the other woman and she is not having a child unless she gets a promotion.

better off without them both

In your first post

"I was willing to work through it if she decided not to keep the child and we have been on a break but keeping in daily contact since."

Agree
Also does he even know that the baby is his ( he should have a DNA test ) as her demands are a bit strange for a 1 night stand.
But regardless get rid and dont look back.