How to stop resenting unemployed DH?

[LysRose]

Looking for advice from those who have survived difficult times? How do I stop myself from resenting DH?

DH is unemployed by choice (abruptly left last job due to growing dislike of it) signed on for UC and is in “no rush” to find a new role because he needs something he will enjoy.

We have very young DC (I’m on mat leave). Finances are challenging and I don’t want to get back into debt I worked so hard to get out of. DH spends most of the day in front of the TV/lounging around. Complains when asked to cook. Complains when asked to help clean. Complains when asked to spend time with DC. Complains is always tired because he sleeps late and has to get up early for school runs. He does do all of the school runs/grocery shopping/bins/ hoovering and bathroom cleaning. I do all childcare when DC home, cooking, daily general cleaning, laundry, organising etc so our workload is somewhat balanced?

I guess I’m just annoyed as I feel he could be pulling his weight more and doing more productive things during this period.

I want to make it work and I know hard times don’t last forever but just looking for any advice on how to stay positive when most things irritate me.

You resent him because he's a lazy fuck who doesn't pull his weight and complains of you ask him to. You're basically a single parent but cooking and cleaning for him too.

That's him. It's not going away and he'll never find a job he "enjoys", he enjoys being a lazy schlub.

Any way you could move to your parents'? I'd be gone myself.

Take a look at the Facebook group called Bridging the gap, I think it could be helpful for you.

If him leaving his job is just the tip of the iceberg and there’s been so much more crappy behaviour for years previously what are you waiting for?

Him getting another job isn’t going to erase all the other crappy behaviour or stop it from happening in the future. It will just mean he has a job and is still a crappy husband.

You don’t stop resenting him - you tell him to get his shit together unless he’s mentally or physically unwell he needs to sort it out - you’ve a new baby and he’s acting like another child and draining your already limited resources

Why the chuff would anyone with an ounce of sense want advice on how to not resent him?

He's a lazy, work shy, scrounging fucker. Get rid.

You need to proceed very carefully ie..with legal advice and a clear plan before you talk to him about anything.