My boyfriend is confusing me. Been together about 1.5 years, both 47, divorced. I have three kids, shared custody, he has two who are 15 and 12 and he sees every other weekend. He's lovely with my kids and easy to be around, bit over chatty but fine. He's generally kind and patient and has gotten over pushing us to live together which was driven by the fact that he hates paying rent but has now put an offer in on buying his own house. There's a money issue though and I've tried to be fair and patient...on our first date he didn't take his card out to pay, so I did and he later said he liked that I didn't expect him to pay (I didn't tbh but told myself why should the man pay). He paid for our second date in a simple Vietnamese place but I could feel his tension shuffling his cards choosing which one. But he was sweet so we carried on. Our first road trip he drove so I offered petrol money, he accepted and from then on it was clear I'd pay half for petrol. Meals were always split. I spoiled him as I like to on his bday in a lovely restaurant and gifts etc. On my bday he got me a pair of earrings on sale on Etsy which were pretty and took me to a restaurant but tensely said 'is this the kind of place you get starters' so I obviously said no need and only got a cheap main. He told me the other part of my gift was he'd take me for a hike and I wouldn't have to pay half for petrol. He cried a bit the next morning after I was honest after he asked me were the gifts not good and I gently said that petrol thing wasn't really normal. A few weeks later when he said he wanted to see me so would go to his fave Chinese on the way and bring it to mine without offering to get me some I calmly told him I'm struggling with this constant splitting of things, he should trust that I'm not after his money and I took him out to celebrate his new job etc. I am a generous person. To make up for the bday he bought me flowers but mentioned how they're good value in Morrissons, where they were from. Fast forward to this bday coming up in two weeks...I was honestly so nervous about him spoiling it so I booked myself a cottage in Wales for a couple of days and it hurt him but I told him to please not take it personally. My ex husband upset me on my bdays and I could do with a couple of days to myself but really, I know boyfriend isn't good at romance and I couldn't face another awkward meal. Anyway, twice over the last few weeks he has mentioned how he budgeted for my present (a hot water bottle) last month so this month he's budgeting for the meal. He earns £50k and only gives his ex wife the amount the child support calculator asks of him which is around £200 ish per month, he says because she gets children's allowance: not my business but I do think kids cost more and his daughter is autistic so needs therapy. Anyway, he then asked whether I want to go to the restaurants i took him to on my bday, I said, please - you choose. He said 'I'll just take you to the one you took me to'. I said to him, my love, please can we just not do bdays, anniversaries, Xmas (he got me a five pack of socks)...let's free ourselves, there's something awkward/tense with money and its making me uncomfortable, feeling like work/burden. He got very upset and said he couldn't feel more hurt or empty and is now not really talking to me! Its been 2 days. I told him he'd never expressed any kind of excitement about my bday and I just don't want this heaviness. There are just so many money orientated odd things...like he bought me pink salt and I said it was lovely and he said '£1'. I know his ex wife said he was controlling about money but he said she expected him to be the bread winner and was financially abusive: obviously I don't know the full story. It all just feels so awkward and I don't like how he's gone cold. Otherwise he's very affectionate and sweet....not selfish in bed but a bit predictable. Anyway....thoughts?