What’s one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self in relation to relationships/marriage?

[user0512]

Hi,

Just saw a video online of a woman explaining what advice she’d give her younger self in relation to relationships/dating/marriage and thought it would be interesting to ask what others would advise.

Bump

Be stronger - just because you’re married it doesn’t mean he owns you.

Hold firm on 50/50 responsibilities at home and shared care of children.

Don't marry someone who's autistic (but neither I nor DH knew that he was back then, so it wouldn't have helped).

Take no shit.

Don't do it!

Leave at the first red flag. If you can’t, leave at the second red flag.

dont wait til 100 red flags down and wonder how the fuck this is your life

Stay single.

Marry someone who is kind

Don’t make your husband the centre of your life, centre yourself

Don't marry Paul, he loves himself more than you.

Don't enable him to be a lesser contributor to the marriage. 50/50 on absolutely every single thing. Especially childcare.

Don't give up separate finances and never make yourself financially dependent on him.

Still marry the wonderful man who’s now your husband, but shag that other guy well and truly out of your system before you do. (I have a thread on this!)

Don't get married.

When you’re young and still have so many doors open to you, don’t turn down opportunities because of the relationship you’re in. The relationship probably won’t last, and you’ll regret not taking those leaps.

Make sure you’re financially secure enough if they fuck off - because they do.

Don't listen to your mother telling you to get married at 22 in case you get left on the shelf or people think you're a lesbian - her exact words.

The grass isn't greener.

Be yourself and if he doesn’t like it, he’s not for you

Get a dog

Be present

Or cat.

Don't bother

Value yourself and what you can bring to a relationship.You deserve to both be loved and happy.

Tbf I should still try and remind myself of this each day.

Read mumsnet to understand relationships from a female perspective and, armed with that knowledge, never get married & never have kids.

When you are young and promise to stay with someone 'til death do us part' you can have absolutely no idea what that really means.

It means that if you marry at 25 you might well be with this man for two or three times as long as you have already lived.

Forever is a long, long, long time.