Hi Ladies
Im a 49 yr old male needing some female advice. Ive signed up to this because i really need a womens advice here becauze im.all put of ideas. Ive been with my wife now 20 years shes 45, married for 13, and have two beautiful children 10 and 13. Im.quite.succesfull, so fortunate to plan overseas holidays, nice restaurants often, as well as live in a good suburb with all the usual perks. My.wifes birthday I surprised her with yhe new land rover discovery ehich I thinkshe appreciates. . Every week I try.organise a date night for us, with us having no family here, its hard to organise baby sitters , and my 10 yr old gets scared if we do. Fortunately ive 2 bars in my house, 1 is being a wine bar. So 2 months ago I suggested a date night st home at the wine bar. I showered, got changed in what she tells.me thinks I look nice in, nice bottles of red wine. I asked my 13yr old son to make sure they would both go to bed early that night which he did. Eventually she came down. I must add this. In her ptjamas, hair tied back, zero make up on. No effort at all. During this date I had pre arranged for her engagement ring to be delivered which needed a new clasp. It was a 1 carrat vs1 diamond, but id ask them to make it yo a 1.2carrat as a surprise. Anyway, I gave this to her as a surprise. The date night went fairly ok, and was good to talk with no kids around. I said we need to do this once a week or once every 2 weeks to be realistic. As parents kids lives happen and hard to get that break. 2 weeks later I organise it again. Baring in mind inbetween we go to restaurants in the week. This is alone time. This time the same, wine var, wine, and the diomand they took out the ring id had made into a necklace which I gave her that nightz so the proposal diamond she would still gave. Great night again. Now, this is where I need advice. The next time , 2 weeks after Id arranged date night, I sat waiting downstairs and she hadnt come downstairs. I waited half an hour thinking maybe shes getting dressed (the 2nd date night was same again, wore clothes she wore all day), so thought maybe this time she was making the effort. Eventually I go upstairs to see where she is, and she was lying on my daughters bedz in her pyjamas on Facebook which shes addicted to, and just casually said to mw"urrgh im coming now". To which intold ger dont even bother. If it was such an effort to come down and be with me, rhen dont bother. I got stood up in my own home on a date with my wife. Now that was 8 weeks ago. I told her im dine making all the effort for this marriage and have alone time, ajd rhe next date night she is organising. Its been 2 months now and not one single thing has she organised so we can be alone. My son has even asked her why she hasnt arranged a date night. I eventually sat her down and asked why. Het reply was "because yiull expect me to be wearing a body stocking or lingerie. Why cant we just watch a movie together". Now no where have I ever said that to herz but as a women, why would that be the issue. Other women before my wife, wearing sexy lingetie is a turn on for both parties and why wouldn't she want to wear it. Again, not having ever even mentioned it but why would that be the issue. And before you say shes got a complex, shes lost 10kgs, trains with me at gym everyday, in peptides, I oay for her to have her hair done every month, best shes looked in years, but why use that as an excuse. Am I wrong in thinking maybe there's another man. My son and I call her homescreen bwvause whenever we walk passed herz shes staring at her homescreen (obviously turns it off). Maybe im.paranoid about that hut mostly I feel so rejected and hurt. I orovide an incredible life for us snd rhe family. Overseas trips, there at every sporting even of my kids, I help with lifting, im a very hands on father and make so much effort to be with my wife but she cant even turn up to a dare nighr, snd when she has, zero efforts been made by her. More of an effort for her. Surely shes want to be with her hsubamd and have time out from the kids. Yes its at home, but its a "datennight " in our wine bar, just catching uo gor a cple hrs and laughing anf not being parents for once. Just the 2 of us, yet she makes no effort, even though 8 weeks have passed and the kids have even asked why she wont organise a date night. Shes so anti. So now ive closed off from her. I refuse to organise one and waiting for her to, yet I kmow now it will never happen. Any tips and advice here would be so grateful bevause im feeling so rejected. If she loved me surely she'd want to make an effort and arrange a datennight herself and to make up for standing me up, but water.off a ducks back for her. Im seriously looking into divorce. Well its there now in my head, where it wasn't before. Any assistance /advice ladies id really appreciate