AIBU to feel put off by my partner's dancing at parties

[YourChicCat]

AIBU for thinking this.
Im dating somebody who is everything I want and need. But I can’t help but get the ick about his dancing. I Noticed at a party he just seemed so… stiff. Uncoordinated and stiff.
I love a dance at a party and I don’t mean I want him to move like a dancer. But at least have some slight rhythm or fluidity. I felt a bit embarrassed and I’m ashamed to say that out loud 😔 I’m kind of over thinking it a bit and thinking about future events. I do not want to feel embarrassed. I don’t even know if anyone else would notice or care.. but it’s just how it made me feel

honest opinions welcome

You have my sympathies @YourChicCat

My mother always warned me against ‘men who could dance’. She would tell you you have a keeper there but … I discovered quite by accident that a colleague can dance and lead properly, too.

he used to be someone I wouldn’t look at twice. Now, however, I find myself coming over all unnecessary.

There are worse things than men being unable to dance. Just sayin’

Great point!
My husband is an appalling dancer, just awful. He only dances at weddings etc because I want to dance with him occasionally, so early on I decided to find it adorable. And now I actually do! Plus I just think he’s such a nice man, having a dance to make his wife happy and secure enough in himself not to obsess over whether people think he’s good at it.

Maybe he'll gain confidence, skills and moves from hanging out with you. Be aware it's possible there's things you do that irk him, that he doesn't think you're perfect either.

You need to get a grip !
Everything else is great , dance with your friends & don’t watch him when he’s dancing .

My husband is a TERRIBLE dancer(think of a male elaine from Seinfeld!)! However, he has such fun dancing that it makes it attractive. He always has a big smile on his face and it always makes me laugh. Try and look at it a little differently.

I'm wondering how great the rest of it is if something so minor can put you off. Perhaps you don't think he looks very sexy while he's dancing but can that really be affecting everything else, all the rest of the time, if it's all so wonderful?

‘Coming over all unnecessary’ - not what you need at work!

So he wont be signed up for strictly anytime soon then? Shame.. us women would love it!

How often do you dance? I've been with mine 14 years and n3ver danced together so I can't see it's a problem. Obvs if you go line dancing every weekend it's a different matter

Tell him you’ve signed the two of you up for dance lessons. Ask him to come as a favor to you and that it will be a fun way to spend time together. And won’t your friends be surprised at the next party, wedding, whatever.

A man who can dance well is a very attractive man. A man who cannot….well…..

How long have you been together? Are his other physical skills any good? Just because the most uncoordinated man I knew was also shit in bed.

Is he good in bed? In my experience, guys who can't dance, don't have good rhythm elsewhere either. You have every right to your feelings. Maybe try dancing at home with him? Put some music on and tell him to join in then teach him some moves. Or join a dance class together.

Can he take a joke? Can he laugh at himself? If so, tell him directly he could do with some lessons!

There are absolutely no problems with coordination anywhere else 😉

Phew! 😅 my lovely bad dancer was also clumsy as, and sex risked injury!

If it gives you the ick and enough to justify a MN thread then maybe you need to throw him back.

On the other hand if this isn't a deal breaker because it's once in a blue moon and in every other aspect he's great, then gently suggest you both sign up to dancing lessons.

@YourChicCat
If you're that icky about his dancing
But everything else is fine
Either let him be as most men aren't the most elegant of movers
Or
Leave him.
If you are that fussy about this one thing of his
Supposing the shoe was on the other foot?
What do you think he'd do??

You sound horrible! Not everyone has rhythm but good on him for trying

Are you dying inside of embarrassment because he’s drunk?

How drunk does he get and how often?

I suspect that this is not the only thing you dislike.

honest to fk. If he gives you the ick for dancing then dump him. Then grow the fk up.

My DH is a shit dancer. I find it endearing.

@YourChicCat go to dancing lessons together. Salsa is fun ! He could unlock next level and leave you hanging back while he has the time of his life twirling the girls. Sounds like he deserves it tbh. 💃🏻

Haha dh is a very enthusiastic mover on the dance floor, he gets 10/10 for effort from me along with a lot of laughs 😂
I hate dancing, I just don’t do it because I feel ridiculous and uncoordinated and what the fuck do you do with your arms/hands?!
it was easier when you could smoke on a dance floor, drink in one hand, fag in the other, meant both arms were pretty much taken care of. Don’t really drink much these days and haven’t smoked for 10 years - I just stay away from the dance floor. Dh tries to lure me in but I’m not really into it.

get rid of him if you can’t handle his dancing, it sounds like you’re mismatched.

DH likes to "dance" at concerts, but simply looks like he's having some sort of medical episode. He's got the rhythm and agility of a rhinoceros. But he tries, and that's kind of cute really.

Just don't go dancing together. Simples.