Boyfriend tells pointless little lies and I cannot understand why

[Niveashell]

My boyfriend tells stupid lies, I really don’t know why. A silly example is that if I mention a new song and say I like it and has he heard it he will say yes it’s a great song. I generally know when he’s saying it it sounds like a lie but then say a few weeks later I mention the band again and he will say never heard of them or the song. That’s seems so trivial but it’s all the time. It could be a restaurant I want to go to and he will say I love that place and then when we go he will say it’s the first time he’s been (clearly forgetting he’s said he’s been before). If I bring it up he will say “oh yes I think it was a few years ago but I can’t quite remember”

what’s the point of these lies? I think it’s to just make himself look better somehow (even though I don’t care if he’s been there before or not)

has anyone ever had similar to this? We’re together nearly a year and both early 40s

Even if it is low self-esteem or fragile self-image, that doesn't mean it should be overlooked or accepted. You might understand why they do it, but unless they're doing the work to change those behaviours, I don't see how it isn't damaging and a dealbreaker.

Completely agree.

Me too. A relationship with someone like that lacks any solid foundation.

@GreyCarpet To her mum she remains amazing. I don’t agree that people have to lie to keep up with expectation either. There’s other ways of dealing with that and a mature adult would reflect on the fact it’s not lying,

I think it could be a partly people pleasing as PPS said, but also partly trying to look cool & impress you.

if you ask id he’s heard a new song he doesn’t want to admit he hasn’t.
he wants you to believe he had a more exciting life before you, eg he used to eat in that restaurant ALL the time
the work stories also made up/exaggerated to impress you or give him an easy topic of conversation

God he sounds like my ex! It was absolutely infuriating as consequently you end up not ever knowing if he’s telling you the truth. Sadly, it usually means they have an all round slack attitude towards telling the truth and not just in regards to minor stuff…!