ASMR am I allowed to be upset?

[Sunnyday410]

Good afternoon
I am looking for some prospective please.
I dont know if I am being irrational.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years live together ect.
I know he used to listen to Asmr before we met, I found out today he has still been listening to it. I didn't know. It is a woman talking and whispering one title was "tingles all over your head".
He works nights so we dont always sleep together. When I found out I was and still am so upset. I know it is my feelings but I cant help it. I know people have made it sexual. I think in this case it is purely for relaxation.
It has sent me on a major spiral. Please calm me down. I feel so unwanted and hurt.

Was about to say you are nuts but having watched a few seconds of that, it gave me the absolute creeps, I would have the ick with a man who listened to that. Weird as fuck.

He isn’t calling a woman or FaceTiming her is he? This is excessive and weird

No. Because that would make you batshit levels of controlling.

Well this is dickhead behaviour

Wow, almost every night I wake up about 5am, end up having to go on the couch and stick a 'back to sleep' video on which is always a man's voice.
Not once has it ever occurred to me that there's anything at all wrong with that (obviously because there isnt).
I mean I could ask my husband to chat away to me but I doubt he would be too pleased at 5am!
You really need to get some professional help to deal with this crazy jealousy/ irrational behaviour. Good luck to you.

It's not in the least sexual, it's relaxing.

Theres an advert on at the moment for some washing powder or something where the bloke is whispering. The ad men have clearly done it to jump on the back of this trend

Makes me want to hurl my shoe at the screen

Not relaxing.

Yeah… dump him, OP. You don’t sound happy with him. Life is too short

Eh? My son watches asmr vids on YouTube, it's like scraping sounds and people moving slime around and jelly. He said the sounds are 'satisfying'. I just think people find it relaxing.

Have you watched the OPs video?

That’s not what this is, watch the video it’s grim

If you are upset you are a controlling weirdo . Sorry

ok lets say he likes watching a comedy eg big bang theory to enjoy,
why is this video any different than a tv show if it is still something he likes ? as an example i like listening to youtube stories being read out aloud by ai and sometimes its usually a female speaker telling the story etc so why the issues ?

this was an intriguing one

I think I’d be upset too

Honestly, you'd be unreasonable if you didn't.

To him.
Leave him be. He's not the one for you

but its prerecorded and on youtube so its hardly a personal service ? how in many ways is it any different listening to a song or watching a tv show etc

I’d defo be up for running off with Alexa!! Her voice gives me eargasms!!!!!! 😈 !!! (And I’m a woman!!! lol!)

Im a straight woman and listen to this stuff all the time. It's for relaxation, nothing else. The "tingles" are in your brain, nothing sexual!

This is an odd take OP. You’re insecure, and YOU have taken it out of context.
This isn’t your husbands problem to deal with, this is a you problem, it’s your insecurity. Most women wouldn’t be threatened by this at all. It’s just content, a hypothetical role play to calm the nervous system. The tingles are not orgasms, and the ‘cuddles’ are to increase serotonin & dopamine levels. When I listen to ASMR, it’s like sitting with a really lovely, caring friend, and feels like a bit of a pampering session.

I’m sure he’s not watching it because he fancies the artist, if she happens to be pretty, that’s not a crime, and he can’t help that. He’s not touching himself, so he’s not aroused. He’s literally using it to self soothe, like it’s designed for. There’s nothing sexual in this at all.
If he was watching porn, then it would understand your feelings a bit more, because that’s different, that IS sexual and lustful and plays into women’s emotional instabilities, but this is not that.

Actually you can take responsibility for how you feel. Thoughts aren’t facts. Who on earth do you think you are to intrude on the inner peace of someone, in this case your parter, and try to make some link that he’s “cheating on you” by listening to what is the equivalent of lift music? Leave him alone.

Im surprised at how many commenters on this thread think ASMR isn’t sexual. Truth is it’s a wankfest for a lot of men.
A friend had an ASMR YouTube channel for a while. She quit it because she got fed up of all the creepy requests she got from creepy men.

Get a grip!

I cannot watch that for more than about 5 seconds. Those revolting mouth smacking noises coming from her mouth and her video insinuates shes going in for neck kisses and stroking the watcher. I would have the total ICK! And I hate whispering. Gross.

I'm a woman, I listen to ASMR it relaxes me. It is not sexual nor is it cheating. You are older than me OP you need to get a grip I'm sorry.