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Original poster

He asked me to be his girlfriend, then said just friends

58 replies

Kit87x · 15/06/2026 22:51

Hi just after some advice. I met a guy a few weeks ago whilst out with my friend at a local pub she goes in and we got chatting and slept together. We’ve been messaging since and got along great so I went back to the pub on Saturday with my friend, who is seeing his friend and we was getting along great and slept together again. During sex he asked me to be his girlfriend which I ignored because we were both drunk. We was fine on Sunday and messaging but I noticed the vibe change and he seemed to go a bit cold towards me. I messaged today asking if he’d like to meet on Saturday for drinks and food or something but he said he already has plans. He’s then messaged this evening saying if he’s being honest he’d still like to be friends but he doesn’t want it to go any further and that I’m great but I deserve someone better. I’m so confused cos we were getting along great.

OP posts:
Horses7 · 17/06/2026 20:27

Bunnyfuller1 · 15/06/2026 23:22

Sadly, even after all these years, and supposedly more equality there are still guys out there who chase you, get you into bed then decide they’re now done. Either don’t sleep with them until you’ve both decided that there’s something worth going for, or sleep with them and just enjoy it for what it is. Nothing wrong with either approach but might save you some heartache.

So true

bladada · 18/06/2026 08:15

Thebigonesgetaway · 17/06/2026 16:03

Isn’t that the very definition of a game, sex should not be transactional.

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That is naive.
Adult men make sex transactional. That’s how the world works. It’s not very elevated, I agree wholeheartedly with you but it’s so.
And they don’t care if you play or not, the moment they have sex with you, they feel they have won.
Ignoring it is doing a massive disservice to women.

Missj25 · 18/06/2026 09:03

BauhausOfEliott · 16/06/2026 17:40

Don't do this. Unless you actively want to seem completely fucking mental.

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😂 😂
Agreed !

Hildegard25 · 18/06/2026 15:03

Bunnyfuller1 · 15/06/2026 23:22

Sadly, even after all these years, and supposedly more equality there are still guys out there who chase you, get you into bed then decide they’re now done. Either don’t sleep with them until you’ve both decided that there’s something worth going for, or sleep with them and just enjoy it for what it is. Nothing wrong with either approach but might save you some heartache.

Playing devils advocate here but:

I never read that he'd been doing the chasing, they met at a night out get together with friends.
It seems to me it could and probably is the other way round, and now that they have slept together she wants more.
He's not ready for a full blown relationship, and wants to cool things down a bit.

HappyWelsh · 22/06/2026 23:54

Kit87x · 16/06/2026 22:27

I know 🤦🏼‍♀️ Feel like I’ll have to just leave it now until I see him face to face I think, feel desperate if I message now 😞

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You don’t seem desperate OP, just bring it up in conversation, just tell him that you’re a little bit confused, and ask did he actually just ask you because you were both drunk? You might be pleasantly surprised. Think about it, he’s probably feeling like he’s coming across as desperate, tell him! It could be the start of a love story🫶🏼

HappyWelsh · 22/06/2026 23:56

Voneska · 16/06/2026 17:15

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this; it sounds like hes got you. Hes got you CONFUSEDand that is the first stage for these M.F. s. If I was you, I would drop off the face of the Earth but seeing as your friend is dating his friend, that could be difficult. Seems like a lot of guys are just doing mind games at the minute. Just go Radio Silent. Because these types hate Radio Silence. When you get a chance, try to think of something gross to say about him , to your friend. These gross remarks will get back to him and will break his EGO and will make you feel SO MUCH BETTER. When he approaches to ask for a date : DECLINE, DECLINE DECLINE three times. Then cancel last minute if you agree until you feel that his EGO is crushed enough. After all these tactics you will feel Restored to Balance. Good Luck. !!!!

What!? - I honestly believe that this is the worst advice I’ve ever read!

Mlb123 · 23/06/2026 02:17

I dont think the saving face thing is quite the right answer, simply because if it was just that then he would have been reassured when you wanted to arrange to meet up. Im inclined to think that he's trying to get an ego boost from feeling you want him as a boyfriend .

First he asks you and you dont respond and now I would suspect he responded to you suggesting meeting up by saying he only wants to be friends is in hope you make it obvious you want to be his gf.

I would probably say to him how confused you were when he was suggesting a relationship and how glad you are to know that he only wants to ne friends after all.

Then see how he reacts and youll know if hes trying to play games or otherwise xx

CamillaMcCauley · 23/06/2026 02:50

When someone tells you that you deserve better than them, it is invariably true.

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