Has anyone found ChatGPT too sympathetic towards an ex?

[Asq]

I have started using chat GPT to go over my relationship with my ex as certain things still bother me a lot and I never had anyone to talk to about it at the time. I have started using chat GPT to write down how I felt and go over situations I felt were wrong, but it often seems to “side” with him, I don’t know if that’s the correct term but it often seems to sympathise a lot with him. Is this normal? I have even said to it a few times that I felt like it was siding with him. I don’t want to say what the things are as the great reason for chat GPT is it doesn’t judge me for things, but is this anyone else’s experience?

I do think an ai as a therapist needs to be used with extreme caution. It’s a mistake for anyone to think it’s objective.
You’re saying things like it doesn’t judge you
but it’s got its information from real people, who are judgemental.
you’re saying it seems to feel sorry for him, it doesn’t feel anything
it doesn’t know right from wrong
it doesn’t have any independent thought, it’s just saying things that sound like things other people on the internet have said. And it’s taking its cues from you, maybe you write like it’s your fault and you feel sorry for him.
im sorry you’re unable to access irl support, it’s a shame so many people are in this position

Yeah I think as I said in the beginning I said I like that it’s not rude about him like people irl so it must be Feeding off that

At least im not using it to make silly pictures of cats

Op do you have children? If you do then honestly you do need to try to think about your ex even a little less, fill your head with the kids and now instead x sorry you’ve been through what you have

Yes we have children, thats why I’ve found it difficult to just move on, trust me if I didn’t it would be a lot easier!

It depends on the update. Last year it seemed programmed to immediately tell everyone to break up and diagnose every ex as a narcissist. If you had a workplace disagreement, it would often jump to the conclusion that you were being bullied and should sue.
Then came the Karen update, where it seemed determined to contradict you and tell you off regardless of what you said.
The update after that felt a lot more balanced for a while. It was willing to challenge people when necessary but could also acknowledge when they had a point.
Lately, though, I've noticed a drift back towards Karen mode. It seems much quicker to argue, moralise, or assume the worst interpretation of what someone is saying rather than engaging with the actual point being made.

What are you trying to get out of it OP? Generative AI is just a big guessing machine, it you prompt it in certain way it will agree with you, if you prompt it another way it wont, either way its not really thinking or having a conversation with you.

You can have online therapy sessions with a trained professional which would actually be a conversation.

I don’t have hundreds to spend on therapy so I will give it a go at telling it not to side with him so much which it has agreed to

How can you find it useful knowing that it's just going to say what you tell it to say?

I think there's an issue with conflating "useful" with "telling me what I want to hear".

And on the other hand, bad friends and bad therapists are the ones who don't say what you want to hear.

I think it's absolute madness personally and can't believe how many people on here (albeit the minority) use AI like this and don't see it as a dystopian nightmare!

Even when I don’t tell ai who is you and ask it to analyse email exchanges with my ex it’s very critical of him. He is an incoherent bully thoigh.

I have been using ChatGPT a lot recently to help me through a recent breakup from someone who I loved very dearly and it has helped at lot.
What i did though was journal my feelings and put these in, to make sense of them all, rather than asking it a specific question.
It has helped me to understand how I actually feel, had validated why something was hurtful to me (rather than being universally hurtful).

I think it does depend on what prompts you are putting in to be honest.
Ive found it to be quite gentle with my emotions annd encouraging self care etc but also very clear on what I have actually said I felt previously.

Sometimes in our past relationships, people are indeed very cruel but it does depend on context and if you dont provide that, it's not going to "get it".

I think using it to guide YOU make sense of your feelings is fine, but id be wary of expecting it to act as judge and jury from only one account of the situation.

yet people seem to forget those very same servers, are used for eg the internet, mumsnet, facebook, netflix etc so why the hate on the water for Ai but not for everthing else that uses the servers ?

Just being able to talk about it over and over helps, even if it isn’t real, I need a response and it’s helped in that sense. Writing it down in a diary wouldnt.

@Asq could you try grok ai ?

Honestly, I don't think that "talking about it over and over" is going to do you any good at all. You're just dwelling on issues you should be getting over and moving on from.
I know you can't afford a therapist but I'm telling you, they would not encourage this sort of obsessive dwelling on past events.

I'm sorry you were treated badly but onwards and upwards is for the best!!

Is that the Nazi one?

I would recommend a book. Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. Or any of Natalie Lue's work. I know she won't be talking to you directly like a chatbot will but I find her stuff brilliant and so helpful for me to understand patterns and see how the unhealthy relationship patterns play out.

Or just ask it to channel AnyFucker from MN circa 2010. If it can do that you'll get much more satisfactory responses.

and yet the countries that make the tech your using in your phones is holy and all good ? seems people are quick to point fingers when fogetting how the rest of their daily items are made

My phone, on which I do not use AI, isn't encouraging me to tell it all my secrets then telling me what to think and do.

It's important not to read too much into this. It's just a piece of software. The developers will be trying not to make interpersonal conflicts worse. You can imagine the scandal if someone got killed and it turned out that Chat GPT had been encouraging their assailant. So they'll be trying not to escalate conflict. It'll be assembled from the most bland, anodyne relationship and post divorce healing advice from around the internet. If you want something with a bit more of a cutting edge to it, then that's what real life friends, or Mumsnet, are for. Leave the bastard. He's emotionally abusive. Get your ducks in a row. He's a narcissist. The phrases simply trip off the tongue!

People have killed themselves (apparently) on the advice of AI, tragically

BBC News - Mothers say AI chatbots encouraged their sons to kill themselves - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce3xgwyywe4o?app-referrer=deep-link

Well it helps me.

a program is like a text message people choose what to write, it does not write tell me your secrets, a person chooses , or have people forgot free will

I don't think you understand technology enough to try to give advice, if you can't see the difference between a phone (a piece of hardware) and AI software like Grok, particularly being used for what you were suggesting OP uses it for.