Lay it out in simple facts:
1 - Dad appointed X and Y as Executors explicitly because they are people he trusted to carry out his wishes. That was his personal decisions and nobody can override that.
2 - The primary function of Executors is to act within the law. This means ensuring that the funds in the estate are allocated within the law. The priority is essentially funeral costs and any debts. The estate does not have enough funds to cover these, some debts will need to be written off.
3 - No-one, other than the executors can instruct new debts (invoices) to be raised against the Estate. Any invoices received will be returned to the originator, with a statement that the Estate did not instruct for the service/goods and that the originator will need to contact the person who requested the goods/services to obtain the correct invoicing details, as that person has taken out an informal written/verbal contract for the sale of goods/services. Any new debt relating to the Estate would need to have been approved by an Executor prior to any order of goods/services by a Third Party (someone not involved in the Execution of the Estate).
4 - The Estate does not legally need to provide a Wake event for mourners. Dad, in fact, specifically stated he did not want one. In this case, as Executors, we made a decision NOT to fund a wake, given TWO important points. Firstly that there are insufficient funds (following our legal duty as Executors), and Secondly following Dad’s wishes (following our moral duty as Executors). We are aware of his feelings on this, and also how upset he would be that others are choosing to ignore his wishes.
5 - Any mourners wishing to go against Dad’s wishes, by arranging, and paying for, a Wake, are entitled to do so of their own volition. However, this is not the business of the Estate or the Executors. There is no obligation for payment, other than for whomever requested goods/services, and there is also no obligation for the Executors or family members to attends or get involved with an ‘unofficial’ wake that is being arranged outside of the Executor process.
6 - Executors and family members, are not obliged to pay for a wake personally, that is a personal choice to be made by individuals. Any individual ordering goods/services relating to a wake, is legally responsible for the invoices, unless there is an agreement made prior to ordering those services about bill contribution. The Executors have not personally given any agreement to making a personal financial contribution.
7 - Over the last couple of days, there have been a significant number of harassing telephone calls, emails, and even visits to home addresses of Executors and other family members, of persons attempting to harass and bully the Executors into funding an ‘unofficial’ wake, including the passing of personal phone numbers/email addresses to people the Executors/family members had not consented to sharing their personal data with. This behaviour is unacceptable and needs to stop immediately. Please note that all contact is being logged, and if it does not desist, may need to become a Police matter.
8 - As a final reminder, and for the avoidance of doubt, I reiterate, that NO PERSONS other than the Executors can authorise the purchase of any goods or services against the Estate. Any unauthorised invoices will be returned to the originators unpaid, with an instruction to re-issue it to whomever actually requested the goods/services.
Honestly these people sound like a nightmare and I don’t understand why you would want them in your life in any way! I would send something like the above, keep it quite business-like, and then start blocking their phone numbers and sent their emails to the spam folder and forget about them. If they want to part of your life in future…make them have to resort to a grovelling apology letter (which I doubt they would do). You don’t NEED to be a feud with them, just opt out of contact.
As for the invoices, return them to the originators, with a covering letter, and also send the letter to them by email to be sure to have a record of them receiving it. Also send them a copy/extract from the Will, showing the names of the Executors. State that the deceased did not want a Wake, that the Estate didn’t have the funds to cover one anyway, and that the Executors did not authorise or arrange it, and only became aware of the costs when the invoice was sent in error. State that therefore that those invoices are not the responsibility of the Estate, and the originator will need to contact whomever engaged their services, as the financial contract of sale lies solely with that individual. Tell them they unfortunately they appear to have been lied to by the person requesting the goods/services, as there was no agreement in place for the Estate to take responsibly for an ‘unofficial’ wake being organised by this person, who is operating outside of the Executor/Estate process.
If any company tries to get funny with you and won’t accept that you/the Estate are not liable, inform them that it was their responsibly to check that they were dealing with the Executors and not some random individual who has no control over the Estate, by asking to see the relevant section of the Will, and a copy of financial information to confirm the Estate has the funds. A business should be checking the customer billing details are correct before extending credit, in this case the person making the order of goods/services was NOT acting on behalf of the Estate, and it is the responsibly of the invoice originator to check who is
the payer before agreeing to credit. Suggest in future that they only accept upfront payments, if they do not wish to carry out due diligence on people asking for credit via invoicing.
They will struggle to take you to the small claims court for this anyway, unless the person who requested these services was impersonating you on the telephone, and then you have a whole other problem. The court will very quickly agree that the Executor did not request this, and so the debt lies with the person who did. I think any company will understand this, and focus on re-issuing the invoice to the correct person, and start chasing them for payment. There being no money in the estate, will also demotivate them from trying to pursue, especially if you can demonstrate that with any paperwork now…they would then know they are onto a lost angle anyway as the Estate can’t be bullied into releasing funds that don’t exist to begin with. They will have much more luck with pursuing a living person, and recovering a debt from them….all they need is the original phone number/email address/name etc of the person who made the request and your letter stating that they are not an Executor and therefore could not raise the debt against the Estate.