Does anyone track their husband’s location?

[Lana20]

Hi everyone I was just wondering if anyone uses a tracking app to check on their husbands? I don’t but all my friends do and they think I’m crazy not to. Is this normal? My husband just tells me where he’s going and calls me but apparently that’s not enough lol.

I'm surprised people are so narrow minded they immediately think there's trust issues if people track their phones. As if that would stop someone from cheating?

We share locations and it's so useful. I feel a lot safer going to places knowing if anything happens my husband will be able to see my location on his phone. I share locations with my parents too, and can check they're home before calling them and check arrival times when they visit. It works for our family. My own locations aren't secret (not that anyone will be looking at them without reason -how boring would that be?!) so I have zero issue with "being tracked".

So yourmain reason for tracking is dinner time . Surely he can message when he leaves work . Even check the sat nav, it gives an estimated time. If you like to track each other that’s up to you . But to make out you can’t make dinner on time with out it is ridiculous . How do you think everyone else does it .

Yes, we all turn our Life360 off occasionally if we’re running low on battery as it does drain the battery when on all the time.

No one cares if it’s switched off.

I think seeing where each other is isn’t seen as tracking or intrusive these days. It’s just modern technology that’s useful. My kids are on Snapchat and can see all their friends locations on the app. It’s just normal.

No one in my family sees it as controlling. We don’t have many rules for our teens. They don’t have curfews. I don’t check their phones. I never have. No one could accuse us of being controlling parents. Also DH and I definitely don’t live in each others pockets. We have lots of friends and separate interests.

Our family of 2 adults and 2 teenagers is very busy. All doing our own things most of the time. It’s just a handy, quick way to check where someone is. But if it’s turned off, we just call.

I think you are reaching a bit with this one. I actually said that knowing what time I will be home for dinner isn’t classed as an emergency, not that dinner can’t be made at all.

As I said, I don’t track. But to address your question with another, why text when all you need to do is share your location? It’s so much easier.

How do you think everyone else does it .

Judging from this thread, a large proportion of them use various location or tracking apps.

And large proportion don’t , I struggle to believe it’s not , manly used by others because of trust issues or a lack of basic communication. I’d rather my husband text or phone me with updated plans / time . Rather than have to stalk his location.

I think it’s less whether you see it as controlling and more realising that it can be used in a controlling way. I can see it would be very useful however I’m concerned about the normalisation of tracking and the effects this can then have on our teenage children. When my daughters dodgy boyfriend asks if he can track her phone when she goes out will she be able to say no, or will she just think well my mum tracks my dad so it must be normal??

I would only bother if he’s on a long ride on his own. I do worry about that. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother tracking. Used to track dd2 when she was at a roaming around stage at 14/15 but it’s fine now. So actually only track dh on his rides rather than older teens. Especially after watching that Netflix doc about that poor cyclist.

No, it’s because it can be useful to know someone’s whereabouts when you’re in a family routine. Rather than wasting time texting and calling.

Our family don’t track, but it’s quite a simple thing to comprehend.

Where’s the trust issue in wanting to know when to put the dinner on or whether to take the dog out? What a waste of time texting and calling when one person can see something at a glance which gives them the info they need.

Exactly. I think it’s a great tool in a happy, healthy relationship. I’d get back from marathon training in cold, wet February with a bath run for me. What’s not to love.

Tracking someone's location is weird and intrusive. I'd feel gross doing it to DH and I would never allow anyone to track me.

None of the supposed "handy" and "useful" reasons in this thread are convincing. I don't need reassuring that DH is safe if he leaves the house, and I could not have a partner who was so anxious about the idea of me being out and about that they needed to track me to stop worrying. Living life as though worst case scenarios are around the corner is really unhealthy.

I rarely need to know exactly when DH will get in from work, but if I do need to know I can just ask him. Or he can update me as and when he knows. Dinner is around the same time every day and if one of us might not be back for it we let the other know by talking to them or messaging them.

One of DH's friends is tracked by his wife. I found out because he dared stop at ours for a drink before going home, and he received a furious phone call from her within 10 minutes of sitting down. I was immensely disturbed, and after he'd left discovered that this was just the tip of an iceberg of control and abuse.

In fact I'm the one who may or may not be home in time for dinner tonight. I'll probably message DH when I leave the place I'm working at, but have told him to just cook and eat when he wants without waiting around for me.

Can you understand that others might find it handy without it being anything controlling about? Neither DH or I can text if late unless we leave our office floor as we cannot use the phone. If I look and see DH is still in the office I know not to cook. We don’t see much of each other so having dinner together is very important to us and we also cook properly each night so cook for 45-60 mins. This is why it’s handy for us. I don’t sit and constantly look at where my DH is all day and we don’t text or call each other much.

And for every abusive partner like your friend had, there will be an unabusive partner who doesn’t use the location function in that way.

if I go to see my friends they remain undisturbed, as it’s not a controlling tool in my relationship.

it’s not the app that’s the problem, it’s the abusive partner. They’ll always find a way.

That is probably because you appear to err on the dramatic side. Nobody is stopping you or your husband doing what suits you. I could argue that your relationship lacks trust because you are afraid to share your locations with each other. I won’t because I don’t believe that is necessary true. Not in all cases.

Sharing your location voluntarily by mutual agreement can be a useful tool. It is worlds away from tracking or stalking where someone’s every move is being constantly observed.

Well it is tracking isn’t it regardless if you like to admit it or not . We just have trust and I’m a grown women and his a grown man . I don’t need to be looking at an app to know where my husband is .

I do. It’s useful if I want to estimate where he is on the golf course, so I know when he’ll be home (ie when there is no point in texting or calling). I can check which train he’s on when he’s coming back from work. Most importantly I can work out what he’s doing when I haven’t listened to his plans, without admitting that I haven’t listened to his plans. We are used to being apart, in the past we lived in different countries for a while. I’d rather he looked at where I am than texting me to find out or, god forbid, phoning me. I hate phone calls.

Have find my phone, mostly for looking for lost phones (most recently left inside the tent after packing up 😂. Other use is when he’s on a bike ride to see how long he will be as if I call him he has to pull over to answer. Otherwise no. No idea if he uses it for me, I think occasionally if I am out and he wasn’t listening he looks 😂😂

he did go on training though which discussed tracking as a form of coercive control in relationships so we have discussed it before and have boundaries

We share our location on Google Maps. My elderly mum also shares her location with me. It's not 'tracking ' and it's not about trust: it's useful information on the occasions when one of us can't be contacted, e.g. DH was late back the other night and I couldn't contact him by phone but could see he was driving home, so this saved me from worrying.

It’s useful when you know someone is driving, you can’t call or text then. Mind you we usually just shape Apple Maps information now.

Well quite. If one of us was going to have an affair we could do it when we were legitimately away for work or hobbies, Life360 doesn’t tell you who someone is with.
Actually it might help us get away with it because we could do it at home when the other was away without the risk of them walking in on us.

Mumsnetters usually track people so they know “when to put the kettle on”. Have we had that one yet?🤣🤣

We have each other and DS21 on Find My IPhone app. Can’t say I’ve ever just randomly checked to see where they are, we use it to be useful not nosey.

It was incredibly handy when I had to pick DP up from the airport as we could both see where the other was in the long stay Carpark, and I’ll often use it on DS when he’s on a train home so I know when to head out and collect him too.

Why would you need to know when he’s coming home from the golf course or work?

People have explained this to you in so many posts now. Newsflash - not everyone’s lives are exactly like yours.