Does anyone track their husband’s location?

[Lana20]

Hi everyone I was just wondering if anyone uses a tracking app to check on their husbands? I don’t but all my friends do and they think I’m crazy not to. Is this normal? My husband just tells me where he’s going and calls me but apparently that’s not enough lol.

We all have it turned on but I'm not sure anyone is using it particularly actively. It's actually a bone of contention with DS - his view is that if we want to know where he is, we should look at Life 360. My view is that Life360 is for emergencies and I'd far rather get a quick text saying, "off to play golf with Andy".

Similarly, DH is NOTORIOUS for not answering his phone because it's almost permanently on silent so it's helpful to know where he is occassionally if I need something. If I can see he's in the car, I can ring him and it will ring via his car radio and he'll actually answer!

Having said that, there's no doubt that if a relationship has even a hint of control - whether driven by pure abusive tendencies or insecurities - location tracking is a terrible thing. I can easily see exBIL, for example, would have given SIL a hard time if she said she was coming to our house and then her tracking app showed she was in the park nearby "I thought you were at Fraser's house? Why did you go to the park? Who were you with? Were you scoring drugs? Meeting a man!?" etc, when in reality, we would have been there with the kids to go on the swings.

I honestly can't think of a situation in the years we'v ehad location sharing on our phones, where either DH or I have noticed, cared or asked a question like, "why were you at XX place".

I think this depends on the tyoe of job you do though. If a standard 9-5 with set hours that works v well, but my husband's job has huge variations within a window of 2ish hours depending on meetings/what's happened that day.

Horrified at poster messaging her dh if he’s not where he said he’d be. How suffocating.

Bil and sil “monitor” their adult dcs. I was astonished when they were looking at where their married dd was on a Saturday. How many posters here would welcome their in-laws following their every move? And what about when you were young? Would you have wanted your parents to know if you were out at an - ahem - “sleepover” ?

On what basis are you calling everyone who shares their location with their partner insecure and controlling?

is everyone who doesn’t want to share their location shifty and untrustworthy? What on earth have they got to hide? How suspicious. I bet they are all having affairs.

Around here it would be less husband coming in from work and more teenage DC coming back from a match half dead from hunger!

DH's departure from work, and traffic issues, were quite erratic so it used to be helpful for me when we were juggling handovers to see how far he was away. Mostly just my stress levels coped better if I could see in real time he was only 10 minutes away when I needed to leave in 11 minutes, particularly as he's not great at time keeping (ADHD).

Similarly, if I can see that DS hasn't left the gym and he needs to be home so we can go to an activity or for his tutor, I can call him and chase him up (also ADHD. Also poor time keeping!).

I think it is controlling. Why should a grown adults movements be tracked. You trust your partner or you don't. We're entitled to some privacy.

🤣🤣 what?!
of course I trust my partner, and the notion that tracking him would be a sure fire way of catching him do anything untoward is naive at best.

in a healthy relationship, where both participants are happy with sharing their location, it would neither control nor change the amount of freedom an adult could expect in a loving relationship.

Pros and cons to tracking, but ultimately it’s each to their own. If it works for some people, crack on. If it doesn’t work for others then don’t use it.

The one thing I don’t buy though is the argument of “the thought of being tracked creeps me out” says the smart phone user as s/he uses Google Maps to go and “check in” somewhere on social media, before scanning their clubcard at Tesco whilst picking up milk on the way home.

Not to sound all tin hat but we are all being tracked all the time, it’s up to us to decide who we are comfortable with tracking us and having our data, and whether our spouse/family members are on the approved list or not. That’s very much a personal thing.

That's not the scenario though.

Again, we don't track in our family, but me/my husband aren't back at the same time every day – it varies by around 40 minutes. We also prefer to all sit down as a family, so whoever it cooking the dinner can simply know what time to have it ready for and organise their own time.

No, we don't want to all sit down for our meal when one of us isn't there and have to reheat food – that isn't necessary.

of course we're entitled to privacy. But we each get to decide what constitutes privacy. I don't feel like my privacy is invaded because DH could, if he chooses, look up where I am. Becuase DH is a normal person who almost never uses it unless he has a particular reason.

I WOULD feel like my privacy was being invaded if I had to explain or justify where I was, and when, at any point.

Someone else might feel like their privacy is invaded just because someone CAN see where they are. That's totally fine. Everyone is different.

We have tracking which we also share with (grown up) kids and some other family / friends. I see it as a safety feature and have no problem with it.

Absolutely not, and if my DP suggested we track each other I'd think he'd gone insane.

Did I say I am waiting around tapping my fingers? No! If I see that he is still in the office by the time I would like to start cooking so I don’t eat too late, then I will cook so the out him. Gosh people do read a lot into this 🤷🏻‍♀️

You see, I don’t understand why you’d be fuming.

I don’t care if my DH or my kids can see where I am at any given point in time.

None of them actually bloody listen to me when I tell them I’m out for drinks tonight, or going to the gym after work, or popping to the supermarket, or walking the dog, or dropping in on the grandparents or have a meeting in town etc etc etc. And to be honest, I’m just as bad at remembering what my kids and DH’s plans are on a daily basis.

I’d far rather they check my location rather than call me to find out where I am.

Yes, Dh and I track each other’s location and our teen dd. Not because we don’t trust each other. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Because it saves me constantly messaging him while he’s driving to ask how long til he’s home or if he’s near a shop to get milk. He never looks at mine and forgets he even has it, but I often use it to time dinner or when I can leave to collect one dc knowing he’ll be home in 10 minutes to stay with the other one, etc.

I think ‘tracking’ is the wrong term!
all my kids , partner and I have ‘find my iPhone’ ( after losing phone)
it’s mainly handy to know if they are on their way home (dinner etc) or to know they arrived at destination.
its not tracking ( as in spying) !
its with everyone’s consent x

Heres an idea, get all men microchipped and get owner certs which can be transferred to another woman when you break up and they move on then give every woman a scanner and we can start scanning them as soon as we meet them to see if they are currently owned or just pre loved...

@Howyoudoings told me I’ve said something which I haven’t and now they are saying they didn’t say something which they did.

maybe ignore!

I can imagine the threads though of “aibu mil is on our tracking app and wants to know why we’ve stopped off at World of Fun on the way to see her”

I am an honest and boring person, but even I have stretched the truth on occasion, eg saying we got back from holiday a couple of days later than we did (to stave off mil) or excusing ourselves from bil and sil’s “Must go, got to get back for the dog” (and then calling in at The Pig&Whistle). If everyone can see where you are then escape is impossible!

Also I didn’t want dm on my tail when I was young. “I’ll be at Emma’s house…” Not!!!

That micro chipping of men is not a bad idea Would def sort out the crime rate I reckon 😄

I only do it to check dh is not lying in a ditch! This has actually happened I’ve had to rescue him a couple of times once with broken ribs.

Also I go and see clients at their homes on my own so like to think if one of my clients turned out to be a serial killer dh or dd1 would know where to come to rescue me!

He sends me a tracker link on Strava when he goes for a bike ride or a run; if he is injured or is hit by a car, I’d not know where to find him otherwise (he goes quite far and likes to take different routes).

In day-to-day life: no.

What would you do if you see your DC’s have gone to the park with friends rather than stay for school detention or at Uni, not turn up for classes for a week?

Exactly she seems to have an issue with the fact she tracks her husband, and deflecting. Like that’s your own behaviour, no one is forcing her to track him .
Can tell buy her post she has communication issues so explains the tracking of her husband, and clear trust issues .

Why are you are now referring to yourself in the third person? Or have you forgotten that you are Howyoudoings?

Hell no! I would share location for an hour if we're trying to find each other in a crowded place, or if I feel unsafe walking back late or such, but otherwise definitely not. Very weird, insecure and controlling.