How to cope living close to XDH and his new partner?

[Fangtastics]

My marriage of 20 years (together for 28 year) ended last July. I didn't want it to end but he did. I moved out (my choice because I didn't want to live alone in big house that was quite isolated) but I still live locally to him because of my work, I have family here that need me (elderly parents), all my friends are here etc. We live about a 3 minute drive from each other. He also has family here.

His new girlfriend has moved into the house I used to live in with him for the last 15 years; the house that I found for us, furnished, designed the garden etc - a house I poured my heart into.

I am in bits about this and find myself so stressed out about leaving my house because I might see them together. I find myself taking longer routes to avoid driving past the house, shopping at different supermarkets and stuff like that. The worst is if I'm taking the train into the city because I get really stressed that I'll see them at the platform. I haven't yet seen them together but its a matter of time just because of how close we live.

I don't want him back ever and tbh I'm almost ambivalent about the GF but it's going to hurt like a punch to the gut when it happens.

My question is how do I move on from this? Has anyone else had the same thing? How did you cope?

I moved on by living well. It’s harder to do than to say. But I found concentrating on myself, my own happiness, eating the things I wanted to eat, doing the things I wanted to do, going away to places he never would’ve gone, gave me the resounding reminder every time that actually THAT is why I did this.

I still do get residual anxiety when I go to a certain area, I still do worry about how I would react, I still drive there thinking ‘oh god what would I say or do’ but every time I come to the conclusion that…to just be me, to be a better me, a happier me, a healthier me is priceless.

And what irritates everyone is when you’re better without them. No sniping, no derogatory remarks, no scurrying past the milk aisle because they’re there.

Head high. Stand tall. Live your life. It gets easier every time.

When my ex moved out, once I got back on my feet he never paid me a penny towards the mortgage as he had his own accommodation to pay for. It dragged on for years as he wouldn't financially disclose.

How come youre still paying? That doesn't seem right.

Waltz in regularly to get plants/crockery anytime you fancy that's what I did after a break up it really focussed his mind on settling. At one point I announced I was moving back in as my rental term was ending. I accompanied that one with a solicitors letter stating my right to live in the house. That girlfriend didn't last all that long tbh shame.