Boyfriend accuses me of ….
controlling him if I ask during the heatwave would he mind not frying so many foods, maybe use the air fryer or oven? Because I have an open plan kitchen and I’m aware I’m very house proud maybe too much, I never fried things due to smells but since I’ve met him I’ve wanted him to be happy so I say nothing but the day before with all the heat it lingered. He said ok no worries, then ten mins later he started doing it, and I said please can you not so he chucked the frying pan with oil in the sink
lying about being asleep earlier than I used to be (while he’s working away and finishes late shifts and I’m unable to talk due to being in bed)
lying about not being able to hear him on the phone due to bad signal, I was then told im insecure because I was testing to see if he wants to talk to me? I called him right back when I moved rooms as I get bad signal in living room
lying about falling asleep on the sofa… so basically we were together, I’ve been exercising a lot lately, it’s a hot summer night and before bed, it was all quiet, I lid on the sofa thinking I’d rub my sore legs, and before I knew it I dozed off. He came blasting in saying how dare you fall asleep, you should always tell me if u are going to sleep not in the bed together but I explained I didn’t mean to, it just happened. He said I’m avoiding him, going on and on at me until I snapped go away leave me alone then he said why can’t you just relax, by which point I was back in the bedroom but riled up un relaxed and yet by now he was totally relaxed, and asked why can’t I be normal and relax and I said I was very relaxed until u made me jump by screaming at me that I’m disrespecting you for falling asleep on the sofa. I tried explaining I wa tired and wasn’t intending to doze off but it just happened
lying about forgetting things. We were due to go out for the day a nice sunny day, I released I forgot a few things and went back up (I live in a second floor flat)… he went down the communal stairs, I went down the lift (no particular reason) just there’s a lift in the mirror and I like to check I look okay because he says if I wear leggings or certain things I look disrespectful so I make sure in this lift mirror I don’t look too revealing, and he refuses to be seen with me if I wear leggings and this day I had a little summer dress on and was a bit worried… anyway I realised gosh I’ve forgotten xyz. ( random things like sunscreen, and lip care etc, I love looking after my skin)… when I came down to the car park, all happy, my heart sunk and his face like thunder yelling how dare I make him wait and that I must have stood in the communial hallways for five mins just to make him wait, that I purposely waited for him to go downstairs but I truely didn’t, I simply forgot things. This day I shouted at him in the car that I’m exhausted from being accused of daily things. Also on this day he said I had made him wait three hours prior but the reality is it’s a Sunday morning, we had food, some breakfast, I put a lot of my clients records from the day before onto my app, I cleaned up, showered etc… I didn’t purposely make him wait
Also on this morning, it’s been a heatwave, I’m always on top of hoysework and can be labelled as OCD even, but I said do u mind if I don’t do washing up this morning it’s so boiling hot (when he’s home not working and he doesn’t live with me btw, he uses soooo many cooking pans etc) and it’s soooo much washing up, it actually hurts my skin even with gloves on… so he shouted no you are not leaving until it’s done, washing up must always be done, that I’m purposely trying to be difficult but I wasn’t snapping, I just said in a light hearted way can I leave it until later hoping he’d say sure based on the fact he says I’m the cleanest woman he’s been with which he loves but he then started chucking food he brought in the bin shouting if you’re going to misbehave then so will I. I was just flabbergasted. And begged him to stop. In the end I did wash up (when he’s here I promise I’m washing up about 5 times a day he’s a chef so cooks loads which is fine but so much washing up)
for a while I wasn’t working for health reasons, I was and am still fat but trying, my sleep was bad so he told me to get back working, sleep earlier, excersise… so I have started all of this. Now I try to sleep sometimes as early as 9.30 and the gym etc tires me out, I’ve started self employed, built up my clients again, but he says that’s not like me to sleep earlier and that I must think I’m better than him now I’m working, I’ve lost 4 stone since I met him, and he says things like I’d be quiet if I were you, with all that weight…, says he doesn’t like I now have a personal trainer so I agree to train on my own and ask maybe he can come too because as well as the gym I do circuit training outside… but he said he doesn’t want to come and why should he because he doesn’t need to get fitter, that I should do it… but if I do do these things and get tired, he says I’m avoiding him…. I’m really drained from it
I’ve given him no reason to not trust me. I’m a boring homely girl, I love it. And when I do slip into sleeping late again he says I need to get my act together
for context he has fallen asleep many times on the sofa
So why is he one thing but another? Is it bipolar? Am I just simply not loved? If I don’t do something I’m grilled for hours upon hours, but if I do do the things I’m told I don’t do, eventually IM told I’m trying too much and getting ahead of myself. WHY I CANT MAKE SENSE OF IT