Would your DH tracking another woman on night out (with her permission) bother you?

[Anon1234567891]

So there is a backstory to this. Previously I became increasingly bothered by my DH’s “friendship” with a female work colleague. I posted about it, that they occasionally went to the cinema together, then I found some flirty messages on his work phone, he refused to show me messages on his personal phone and when I eventually made him he got very angry. There wasn’t anything really inappropriate but I wasn’t happy about the amount and timing of the messages, and he led me to believe it was her instigating the cinema when it seemed to be more him. He never really apologised and didn’t seem bothered how upset I was, just more bothered that I’d accused him of something he hadn’t done. He said he’d stop going to the cinema and cut down on contact which he has done.

But I recently found out that while she was on a night out on her own, she hadn’t driven that far on her own before, that he was tracking her to make sure she got there and back ok. They were messaging throughout the day about her trip. Not sure if he offered the tracking or she asked him to. He hasn’t mentioned any of this to me even though I knew about her night out. I did find out that her parents were also checking in with her so they could have tracked her. He has since deleted the messages.

Is this just someone looking out for a friend or with the context of the other stuff and secretiveness is it that he’s still prioritising her feelings over mine?

I think I remember your other post - something to do with a comment about knickers in their messages? I would be very annoyed by the tracking. You have had the conversation, he agreed to step back from her and here he be is hand holding her again when her parents could do it. Either she is after him, or nothing ever changed and he lied to you.

How did you find out about the tracking?

@Velvetgoldmine yes that was the one. Yes it’s like he still can’t help himself to have this connection with her.

i saw them on his phone before he deleted them, she’d sent him a google maps pin thing.

Does this matter? Seem irrelevant to the question being asked. Or are you just looking to find fault with the OP.

This is an emotional affair at the very least. I would leave.

I remember all your others posts
He’s bang out of order
I’m sorry op but I doubt he’s really cut down contact he’s probably just gotten better at hiding it

There is something going on @Anon1234567891. l wouldn't be on the lookout for anyone via a Google maps pin app. Not even my daughters. It's just not normal behaviour.

I remember your other posts, you need to divorce him not just for the affair- even emotional but his lack of care towards you

Hell yes this would bother me .

I remember last post OP
Sorry you going through this again. This is madness on his part and he is being wreckless with you and his marriage in his extreme care for her. Nope. Not ok. Can you leave him? Sorry if thats too direct but I just worry where all that energy you spent on having to explian to him why this was not OK and so upsetting actually went? This is disrespect of the highest order.

Mum/daughter who is anxious sure.

my dd gets anxious and often sends me a tracking link.

random work colleague with that background? No

Not acceptable at all. Don’t put up with it.

I wouldn't put up with that !

It would absolutely bother me! My ExH’s affair began at work with over familiarity and then he began to overly care and protect her. The worse time of my life ever and I should have left immediately.

She is old enough to have a driving license, she is old enough to drive where she wants to without people “checking in” on her. A driving license does not come with the mileage limit. It’s a bullshit excuse to make him feel needed.

sorry OP!

I remember your other threads OP.

He has been having an emotional affair with this woman for sometime now. Possibly physical. Who knows, given the way he gaslights you .

I think OP you either need to accept this three way relationship or else end your marriage because it's quite cear he has feelings for her that go deeper than being work colleagues or friend.

Absolutely no, no, no, no!!!!

OP he’s having an affair, an emotional one that will at some point cross over (or probably already had). You’re not being unreasonable. Tracking another woman? My husband could get to fuck if he was going that.

You only track someone if you're worried for their safety and care for them a great deal, or if you're jealous they are not where they should be. This is showing he's still very much in contact and cares about her. Not good.

Oh my god is he still at it. Of course it’s wrong and inappropriate! He is gas lighting you to minimise this weirdo behaviour. I would be seeking a divorce

I remember your op ,,,get rid of him op he's wasting your time and taking you forug ,the lack of respect is astonishing 🚩

Him: disrespectful to you. Hasn't listened to your concerns and acted accordingly- he is still having over-familiar unprofessional contact with this woman. Hurtful to you, doesn't care.

Her: pathetic. Can't drive on her own cause it's "too far".... stupid made up reason for maintaining close contact. Also, she should find her own OH, not take someone else's. Pathetic.

Sorry OP the tracking is dodgy and then he deleted them… so he has something to hide. I doubt he has lessened or cut contact with her.

Sorry OP but he needs to cut off ALL contact or fuck off. You can't carry on like this.

This is not ok. He has no boundaries or respect for your feelings.

A married man should not be going to the cinema with a female work colleague.

Now she’s playing damsel in distress & he gets to be the hero!