How you chase this up?

[GlassBears]

My ex sent me a strange email the other week, late at night lots of rambling and basically saying sorry for the way he treated me and the children and asking me to contact him. I was shocked as hadnt heard from him in a year so I took about a week to respond but when I did he hasn’t responded since. Would you find this weird? I responded by email but he sent me his number would you text instead?

They are teens

And is it a year since they last saw him?

When he left, did he say anything about seeing his children regularly (or at all)?

Im not going to go into it all as it’s a lot of history, I will give it another week then go from there

You've already made your mind up that you're going to contact him via his number, he's clearly gotten under your skin.

Do what you know you're going to do but perhaps within that look for your self worth, remember why he's an ex and that he hasn't made any effort at all with his children, who no doubt would have needed him at some point, in over a year.

Pointless thread because you're not looking for opinions, you're looking for validation.

Not sure why it’s bothering you

I also haven’t said i am going to text, I haven’t decided either way

If you really want to get the children to see there dad why not call him
Ask?
If you arr that keen to answer his emails and wait it out I would be calling myself..but I dont lile games.

so Now people think I should contact him?? Make it make sense, ok I will text though im not going to call.

Different people will have different opinions.

There's nothing stopping him calling again.

Just because he didn't drink or do drugs when you knew him doesn't mean he couldn't have started...

I don't think I'd be returning a late night call like that.

Email, sorry.

You emailed back, I don't see why he wouldn't have picked that up.

Chances are, he did it on impulse and then thought better of it. If he was actually keen to pursue it, he could try again or check his inbox.

Don't see why you should chase him.

He had your email address. Have you moved home/changed your phone number? If not, he has all your contact details and could get in touch with you any time he wanted, but for over a year he didn't. Why do you think that was?

You say the children want to see him. At any point in his email did he say he wanted to see them? They are teenagers. Do they have the same phone numbers too?

he did say he wanted to see them. He does not have their direct numbers

My kids have phones but they don’t have SIM cards in them, they are young teens

What's done is done. You've moved on. Keep it like that.

What?

You already know what you want to
do so not sure why you are asking for advice?
If you want to message him then do so.

When did you respond, are we talking 24 hours or a week gone by?

Do you have any other way of knowing he is ok? If he really doesn't drink I'd be a bit concerned about a rambling late night email.

I didn’t respond till a week later

I mean how long ago was that, when you did actually respond?

If he's the playing games type he might not be responding because you took so long to reply in the first place.

Or he might be like me and only check his email every few days - I expect it would have been more often the few days after he sent his but probably wasn't expecting a reply at all after that so has gone back to normal checking.

If you sent yours last week or yesterday would make a difference in how I view it!

God, no. He can try again if he's serious. The fact that when you knew him he used not to drink doesn't mean he wasn't drunk when he mailed. ETA sorry I meant to quote OP

I sent it a week ago

He is clearly regretting sending that email - if it wasn't drinks or drugs, it was likely some maudlin movie he saw or conversation he had. If he wanted to contact you, he would respond to the message. There is zero chance he hasn't seen the email. I would not follow up. He will just continue to toy with your mind, as he has done now. Move on.

i love how sure people are on mumsnet that he has seen it when it could have gone into junk or anything 🤷‍♀️

Is he violent? Do you have any reason to fear him? If not do what you want to do. As long as you are sure it's the best choice.

No he isn’t violent. He mentioned in the email about just turning up one day though but thought he shouldn’t so I don’t want him to just knock one day saying he didn’t get the email