Husbands Instagram. Urgh.

[JustAnotherManDoingManThings]

Been with my husband 20yrs.
We broke up for a few years in about 2018 but been back together about 5 years.

I've never really been an Instagram person, had an account for browsing but not really a poster.
DH has an account and its private. Because I don't really use it I've never paid much attention but I have asked him to add me quite a few times because he posts photos on there and I've seen his page before whilst he is on there, and he's my husband so was interested!

Am perimeno so having some bad insomnia lately and for some reason he left his phone on my side table last night so I did the stupid thing and looked.

All his photos are normal family orientated and hobby/interests photos.

But then i clicked on his 'following' and Im just so sad. So many cosplaying women in skimpy outfits. Voluptuous, large breasted women.
And a load of female tattoo artists?! He hates tattoos!

I am having a really hard time with my body lately. I've lost a lot of weight (125lbs) and my body and excess skin is a mess :(
I used to have big boobs but they are 90% gone now and are very saggy and point downwards. I already had very little confidence before this.

I'm just so fucking sad and disappointed in him. Its just so fucking stereotypical and cringy.

He's never cheated on me in 20 years. I don't think its anything like that and i checked his inbox and theres nothing there from any women, just his male mates but Im just sad.

I feel like I don't ever want to have sex with him again TBH.
Im nothing like any of those women. Its not like hes following saggy skinned middle aged women like me. I can never be like all those women. They all look the same, very obviously has a type, thats what gets his rocks off and theyre absolutely nothing like me.

Why do men have to do this shit?? I don't have a fucking account following a load of buff firemen and shit. I don't need that.

Am just lay here now and don't know what to do. Whether to say something or not.

What's the point? He will say it's not cheating or they're old accounts he followed ages ago or something (well you've had 5 years to delete them!)

I know people will be along to say its normal and if hes not messaging them I shouldnt care, but I do. Its made me feel utterly shit.

What support should she be getting and deserves?
oh, the “oh hun, he’s an absolute bastard!! How dare he !! You are absolutely valid in snooping on him! Kick him out again!”

A genuine question for you.

Do you think that hed want sex with you all the time, get hard etc…if he didn’t desire you? If the only type of women he enjoys are the ones you saw on his IG?

I feel what you found in IG and how acceptable (or not) is one question.
Vut I’m not sure it says anything about how he feels about you.

How you feel about yourself, whether you’re attractive ‘enpugh’ for him etc… is not about him. It’s about how you see yourself. That’s another question, separate from the IG stuff

When she really needed support, after her breakdown, DH came through for her, in spades. What support does she need for snooping through his phone and finding pictures of attractive models?

Oh my word..."finding pictures of attractive models"? Are there shedloads of men's rights activists having a good old laugh on this thread?

What on earth are you talking about, 😱

He didn’t she went snooping through hus phone.

@LapisBlue was one of your exes addicted to porn?

You have changed your tune @Disturbia81

Disturbia81 · 01/01/2026 17:09
The men I’ve met who genuinely don’t watch it are either autistic or asexual.
If you want a man with a sex drive then he probably watches porn. Not saying I like it but it’s just how it is.

Are you a very black and white thinker @LapisBlue ?
#noDebate, no dissent/opinion of your own or you’re clearly against us view?

What do you define as cheating? For me, cheating is when someone feels the need to hide their actions, so liking pictures of naked women and following OF girls would be considered cheating in my relationship. I have zero tolerance for that type of shit.

Honestly? No. I have issues with porn/Instagram "versions" of it (oh, let's all admire lovely ladies, how lovely these ladies are. No wanky, just luvverrrly) but this is not about me.

OP has not responded.

He's not liking naked women.

So what would you do in the OP’s shoes @LapisBlue ?

Sure, but he’s not doing that. Are you on the wrong thread ?

OP hasn't said otherwise, so how do you know?

Whether he is actually hitting the like button or not he's clearly liking looking at them or he wouldn't be following them in the first place!

Because insta does not allow nudity, he’s looking at cosplay and tattoo artists.

He’s not looking at the either, insta doesn’t allow nudity, at least read the thread. Dudes looking at tattoo artists.

And you don’t think the Op will have mentioned?! 😆

It’s not even possible, it’s insta 😂 they don’t permit any nudity , they are very strict, no nudity, not even naked buttocks and no sexual content.

I have read the thread.

To quote OP:

'But then i clicked on his 'following' and Im just so sad. So many cosplaying women in skimpy outfits. Voluptuous, large breasted women.'

'But the women at tescos aren't in g-strings and bras bending over a chair 🤨'

'How did we get to a point in society where women are defending men looking at sexual, mostly naked photos of women whilst in relationships?
Well, I'm not a 'cool wife'. I married this man, I made a vow and he made one to me and that should involve him not seeing other womens private parts!'

Looks like you haven't read the thread.

That isn't what OP has said.

Because Instagram doesn't allow nudity, as has been pointed out multiple times on the thread. That's how I know

She doesn't need to say it. Instagram doesn't allow nudity or naked photos.

They won’t be in g strings and bra bending over a chair, insta doesn’t permit that, they are notoriously strict, even Madonna kicked off as they censored her, and the op cleverly didn’t say it was on insta either, I suspect as she knows anyone who knows insta would know that’s a lie.

there is no ban on voluptuous large breasted women though. They simply cannot be sexualised content or nudity.

he’s looking at cosplay and tattoo artists.

Does the second part of my comment not stand...

Let me repeat it for you.

Whether he is actually hitting the like button or not he's clearly liking looking at them or he wouldn't be following them in the first place!