Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

That's interesting and suprising, I can very much imagine 5'11 being the average height for late teens and twenties young white men from the UK, but from what I have seen its definitely less common for 30s and above men of that demographic

... and look better in them, and then take the man!

I have mentioned to avoid all that to him as I know height and having to have certain aesthetics otherwise your "doomed" is quite a big talking point in all of that manosphere BS from what I have overseen of it. His parents are quite supportive of him emotionally so I'm pretty certain there taking care of things and I won't have to intervene too much, I was talking to him the other day and the height thing casually came up, which is what made me post this

Male - 6ft 2.
Met a woman on a dating app, who was 5-11.
She said I was the first self-declared 6-2 male who was actually taller than her.

My DH is the same height as me (c. 5ft 6in). I fancied him from the first moment I saw him. We're well into middle age now (together 25+ years) but,
tbh, I don't think he's ever had any difficulty attracting women. He's a good looking and interesting guy with many good characteristics. And he's a considerate lover which I think is far more important than height. I've had taller boyfriends but I have never dated a man specifically because he was tall. I have found a huge variety of men attractive over my many decades on this planet - short, medium-sized and taller. For me, it's about the whole person including their personality. And I assume it must be the same for men because I'm pretty ordinary looking but there have been men here and there over the years who were interested in me (not loads, but enough for me to have 2 serious relationships and then meet my DH in my late twenties with some shorter flings in between and that was all I needed).

😂

I didn't think about it when I was dating. I'm 5'3. I did once date someone who was slightly shorter than me but his height wasn't why I ended it. I do remember feeling masculine when he kind of curled up and put his head on my shoulder, but again that wasn't why it ended

Men shorter than 5'3'' are rare, dark haired men are more common than blonde haired men, so I don't think you'll have any issues there!

I think many women may have a preference for a taller man ( not too tall ) but the reality is that most women fall in love with a man irrespective of their height
I think I would be put off by a man who suffered from short man syndrome and was aggressive . However, there are many short men who are confident and dynamic . I find that very attractive
As another poster said a man who is 5ft 6 and under may have more problems attracting women , but I think it would be ridiculous to turn down a great man because he is on the shorter side .

My ex fiance from early 20s was 5'6. Ex husband 6'1. Current interest about 5'3.

I'm 5'2. Ex husband was a bit too tall for kissing without a step! 😆 But his height wasn't a factor in anything.

Tbh, I do prefer shorter men just for logistics.

I'm tall, 5“8, and in online dating id choose men who are at least 5“9 as I don't want to look down on my partner. That's a very personal preference and very much to do with how I interpret height differences as a power dynamic feeding into what I'm looking for in a partner. It's not a good thing and if I met someone in a natural setting it's not top of my list, and I could end up with someone shorter, but online dating is a different concept.

I sadly struggle as so many much shorter women want a man who is tall which means that there are fewer and fewer men available at my height or above.

Having a preference is fine, I'm not criticizing that. Admittedly you are a slightly taller than average woman but I am just suprised how important it is to some [not all] women it appears to be just as equal, if not more important than things like having things in common, shared values and generally just how you vibe, presumably to you it is as it was the first thing you asked your husband. I know physical attraction is part of the whole package too, but even compared to facial attractiveness it appears to be of far higher importance to some women

I’m 5’6” and ten inches shorter than my husband. I’ve never found kissing him a problem.

I actually find it works both ways. I'm 5ft10 and I find a lot of men even an inch or two shorter have an issue with my height whereas I wouldn't have an issue dating someone shorter and have in the past.

I think it's something people are more likely to get hung up on online dating than in the real world where things like energy and personality are much more noticeable faster.

I would say his nature and being naturally more introverted is the issue. I would also say that I'd be concerned about how he's talking as a lot of that kind of talk is kind of manosphere-esque this idea that there are alpha men and what women want and what men are supposed to be like if they want to secure a relationship etc. There's a huge amount of that out there especially online and especially targeting introverted men of his age and then exploiting and profiting off them so if I were you that's something I'd be exploring further with him as he's obviously getting negative messaging somewhere.

I don’t think I’ve ever encountered short men syndrome.

The average height men often seemed to have a weird complex about height and rounded up, then were disappointed when their “”6’”” self was shorter than me and act awkward and embarrassed to stand next to me. Always put height in the bio because that’s a substitute for not having an interesting personality.

Short men I’ve met all seem very confident, don’t care at all… some a bit too handsy maybe, but overall better vibes.

Any man who emphasise his alleged tallness is massive turn off

It might be harder to date online, but at least it weeds out the shallows.

Would you date a man who was 5’4” (my dad’s height) if he earned a million pounds a year? I suspect most of the shallows would adjust their list of must haves pretty quickly.

Height is a major issue, there have been multiple threads on here angry that a man added an inch to his height, and that he lied about his height to get through people's filters.

The MN conclusion was that lying about height by an inch is indication that the man could be a rapist and serial killer.

I have heard from short men IRL life that they stand no chance on OLD, but do so IRL and their partners would've filtered them out if they had met on OLD.

I wouldn't say its well under average height, seeing as the average UK male height is 5'9 I would call it slightly under. I certainly don't feel unusually small when out in public and have never had any huge issues where dating is concerned, the same as other men who I see who are similar height to me partnered up don't, which is why I am a bit baffled as to why its often touted as a height which will cause difficulties, which looking around in the real world very much isn't the case, hence part of my reason for creating this post

I've dated men of many different heights, from 5'7" to 6'6". What mattered to me was their personality, intelligence, kindness and sense of humour. Looks and height have always been secondary considerations.

If you're talking about online preferences then it's surely because height is one of the things people lie (including to themselves) about. Generally if a man says hes 6 foot he's 5 ft 10, but probably believes he's 5ft 11... A colleague of mine told me he was 5 ft 10 and his nephew is "even taller, it's amazing for our family as most of us are short" and I was extremely surprised, as that'd make me 5 ft 10 too (which I definitely am not). So I assume his amazingly tall nephew is actually average height.

Women do it too, maybe for different reasons (if you're 5 ft 6 your BMI will be in the healthy range at a higher weight than if you're 5 ft 4, so it can be comforting to kid yourself, let alone others!).

My mother continues to believe she's 5 ft 3, although she's barely 4ft 11 judging by the point at which grandchildren overtook her. She might once have been 5 ft 1 or 2 even - I very much doubt she was ever 5 ft 3.

If the UK average for men is 5ft 9 most of the men claiming online to be 6 ft are probably 5ft 9 or 10, and women screen online accordingly I'd guess...

That might be true of that man, but nowadays the focus is much more on perfection, and younger women and girls are very focused on height. My son, before a growth spurt, was obsessed with his height and looked into operations where you can have your legs broken and then lengthened. It’s an awful, sad thing, but it’s very true, and being short is for many a curse.

Im 5’10” having shrunk a bit with age so in my ‘prime’ 5’11”. Only one guy I dated was taller than me. The longest relationship (before my late DH, who was my height) he was 5’8”, the shortest was 5’7”. The tallest (only lasted six weeks) was 6’2”.
Of my friends, two women married men same height, one a shorter man, the rest the men have been a bit taller but I’d say very few were over 6’. The average male is 5’9” in the UK, so obviously women are happy with men of average and below average height.

Body shaming is perfectly acceptable when its men

I don't think having a height preference makes someone shallow, for some people it's part of a wider "package". Personality, morals, hobbies, their smile, how they hold themselves, that they have a job, are they self sufficient. So much feeds into the wider opinion someone has.

For me, what someone earns would be way further down the list than their height. As long as they were earning and could live within their means then that's fine.

I always had a preference for taller men, but ended up married to a 5’8" one. Because personality and compatibility are far more important than height.