Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

One of my sons is 5'9", the others are 6'1" and 6'3".
The taller ones get far more attention, even though the shortest one is absolutely ripped running, cycling, ski-ing and climbing athletic figure and the most outgoing of all of them.

Thankfully he has a lovely OH now (who is same height as him and similarly ripped athletic figure...

I don't think it's shallow to want a man you're attracted to, and find sexy, to be a non-negotiable.

Obviously, personality and character should come into play, and if it doesn't that is shallow. But wanting someone that we find 'good looking' is generally pretty essential in finding a partner, otherwise we wouldn't want to have sex with them and they'd just be a friend.

Your comment comes across as though women shag hot bad boys and then 'settle down' and marry unattractive, dependable men...when really I think it's more that women shag men they find attractive and likeable, and then marry them if it works out.

Some.do. Most don't.

I once worked with a guy who was 5ft2 and for him it was pretty brutal.

Online doesn't match reality at all.
If it did then most of the men under 6ft would be single or really struggle to get any partners which just isn't the case at all.

Height probably makes less difference when meeting people irl over online dating.

It is fine to have a preference. I don't have one. Kind and funny is way more important.

All this short man syndrome nonsense is body shaming.

Supporting Nigel Farage is a hard absolutely not, no, never.

Funnily enough I have noticed with much younger generations [I would say below 25] I have noticed a lot more very tall young lads, not only that but the girls are also taller too, its doesn't appear to be as common to see very tiny height girls compared to slightly earlier generations, I am wondering if many girls of the younger generation aren't really thinking much of taller height in men because to them it is a lot more normal compared to people of there parents age for example. I often feel quite short when I am amongst much younger lads whereas amongst my own age group I seem to blend in a lot more.

I actually think my brother is very slightly taller than me, maybe around 5'9'', which in my age group would dead on average height but in his age group is slightly on the shorter side

It's really quite noticeable when a man on a dating app/site claims to be 5ft 8 and you show up to meet them and it is very apparent they are NOT 5ft 8 because you are and they are 100% shorter than you 😂 Genuinely happened to me 2 or 3 times. I don't know what it is with 5ft 8 specifically but it seems to be the number used by many men who are in fact shorter than that.

No, as I said upthread, it's probably women (and men) putting their "perfect" preferences in the dating app at first, and then tweaking it to be less fussy if they don't get many matches after a while. That's pretty much obvious that people are going to try and get the best possible and only compromise when their "perfect" match proves to be non existent.

My ExH was slim and 5ft 7, with a 38 inch chest. My now DH is 6ft 3, with a 50 inch chest. Having been in scary situations with both of them, I have definitely felt safer with DH. If I was ever to date again, yes, I would definitely look at size, with 6ft 2 being my minimum. I am 5ft 1.

Most of the men I dated were basically around my height (5'8"). It's never been part of my calculus tbh - I wouldn't rule someone out because they were significantly shorter than me.

Just to add, I find it quite interesting that height isn't always hereditary.

I am 5ft 1, ExH is 5ft 7, and our son is 6ft 1.

DH is 6ft 3, but his Dad is 5ft 7.

My husband is 6ft 6 but I didn’t marry him because of his height! He is handsome but we have aligned goals/values/personalities which is more important for a relationship.

Maybe for a one night stand height/looks come more into play?

Possibly but for me I'm only attracted to tall men, I don't have one night stands anyway, but long term I want someone I remain physically attracted to.

Personally I am baffled why being tall is meant to be "better", I've never understood that

It’s not a rationale thought though. To give an example, my family was out walking to a place for dinner. I’m 5’. Daughter’s boyfriend at the time was over when we decided to go to dinner so came along. DH and I were walking at the back, all of the kids in front and I noticed how ‘short’ he was (would have been 5’10), compared to DH and our sons, and it just popped into my mind ‘omg, what does she see in him’. Then the rationale part of my brain immediately took over, and I thought - well, she likely see’s 1001 positive attributes and good for him. But that was my first primitive, non consciously formed thought when I saw him walking with everyone. Trying to say that you don’t just consciously decide a certain height is/is not better, sometimes it just happens in that lizard part of your brain.

In a friend group of 4 couples. Dh is a the second tallest at 5"7. The aother two are i'd say 5"5.

All 3 are introverts
All are married with 2 healthy kids.
They live in nice houses.

All of them have nice(ish) wives who are average looking or better, well educated and high earners (100- 250k!)
They themselves have achieved well in work (this happened post wives)

My dh earned half my then salary when we met...

So for men the manosphere would love to invite into the pit of awful as thryll be alone forever they've done alright I think.

One of the most full of shit men I’ve ever known is 5ft 2in, he ended up marrying a stunner several inches taller than him.

I have a very handsome friend and I would guess he is 5 foot 3 or maybe a bit taller. His wife o believe is 5 foot 10. I think he is very attractive (I am quite tall) and his height would not put me off but he is also a very funny engaging man.

I think confidence, or lack of it, has far more impact on finding a partner than height does.

I think the nearest I have come across with people who I know personally is my brother in law who is 6ft4, married to my sister who is about an inch shorter than me, 5'6''. I think in her case she has been attracted to men of different heights but he just happened to be extremely tall

I find it interesting how quite a few men seem to have a problem with the woman being taller, to me height in a woman is something that has no bearing on attractiveness whatsoever, ironically I've had three relationships in total with the whole height range spectrum, one girl much shorter than me at 5'2'', the second roughly about the same height as me, the last three inches taller at 5'10''

I am 6’2 and my preference is for someone to be a similar height or taller. So I personally do have a preference for taller than average men.

there is also a lot of rubbish on the internet from the “manosphere” telling men that the reason they don’t have girlfriends is because of female expectations instead of telling people they need to look at themselves first.

where is your brother getting his information from? It is a very slippery slope from short men aren’t attractive to women are only good to look at.

I'm only 5ft 2 (despite having a dad who was 6ft4 and a granddad at 6ft7) and I prefer men who are much bigger than me physically (not hard really when I'm a size 6 to boot) - I've never completely ruled out someone on the shorter side though - I'd prefer someone shorter but well built than someone taller who was really skinny...

On apps most that are average height 5’ 10” say they are 6’

5’7 is well under average male height.

They also arent major lookers except my (husband who i obvs think is great)

They are all nice decent kind funny mem who want to good husbands and good fathers.

My husband likes my height and my stupidly long legs…he is a leg/bum msn tbf!