Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

So dont question what height I am as it’s none of your business.

Ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m just talking about sociological research at a societal level.

Fucking hell, it was just out of curiosity - height is literally the subject of the thread! Why post if you dont want to speak about it. You've been bizarrely defensive towards me for no obvious reason?

Usually I date men 6 foot and above but currently I fancy a guy who is just a bit taller, say maybe 5’6 or 5’7. I mean I’m crazy for him so I think it is harder for shorter men but the right one won’t care.

I can see how that would be a massive ick. What a weird thing to say and it would creep me out immensely for a man to say something like that. 🤢

That poster has been weirdly aggressive to me, too. It’s really odd. Perhaps it’ll be best to ignore it.

Aggressive by saying my experience is the opposite 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 other posters have said the same. There’s nothing “aggressive” about saying “my experience is the opposite.” 😆

DS is 5ft 10 ish, nice looking and very fit. Women have been flirting with him trying to date him since he was about 13. He is still at 30, absolutely overrun with offers.
He has a cousin, same age who looks exactly the same as him, but is a tad taller, richer and more intelligent. He has never dated and is very depressed about it. They look exactly the same!! It's confidence. It's always confidence that makes someone attractive.

And frankly, in terms of physical preferences, height is probably the best one to have a strong preference for, as it's the least likely to change!
People will almost all get fatter or skinnier, less muscled, wrinkled, etc, but (shrinking in old age aside) most people will remain approximately the same height throughout their life.

This is true over the whole population but average height has risen significantly across the decades. It is also changed by the concentrations of genetic makeup of various areas of the UK and by poverty and poor diet. The difference just from the latter (appropriate nutrition in childhood) adds 2 inches to height, on average. So the average height of a young woman (aged 18-25) of genetic decent from northern European countries with good nutrition in the UK is now 5’7”. For a young man it is 5’11.5”.

6’0” is therefore far less rare than it used to be (for either men or women, due to the bell curve, but for men it is only 0.5” above the average height for a young man in many parts of the UK).

In other areas with more poverty or where stats are skewed by there being large populations of people with genetics originating from countries where the population tends to be far shorter than in the UK or other northern European countries (e.g. South East Asia) the average height is far lower, as it is also in areas that have far higher levels of poverty and bad nutrition for children, and in areas with many older people as a percentage of the population because they are also smaller due to poorer nutrition in childhood (on average) and losing a little height as they become elderly.

It’s very interesting drilling down into the data. It’s clear that in much of the UK a young man of 5’7” would be very under the average height and in fact barely be the same height as the average young woman. And in other areas with more deprivation/ large populations of people whose ancestors came from countries with shorter people etc. the 5’7” man might consider himself nearly average height and people might still believe that 5’4” is the average height for women across all parts the UK, when in many areas a woman so short would be very significantly below average height these days.

I think women get a lot of social conditioning that they have to be small and delicate to be feminine so where they have a chance to filter, they go for height as a best option to make them feel small by comparison. In real life it's more about chemistry as PP have said and attractive shorter men do just fine.
But I will say, being short can be a negative if the man thinks it is.
I've dated two "short" men who were around 5'7". One was lovely and we had a nice time (broke up because we had different future plans). The other one was a manipulative arsehole with a massive massive chip on his shoulder about being short and that he felt women overlooked him because of it. And he'd be very snarky and mean if I tried to wear heels with an outfit. Basically incel vibes, which was ironic because obviously I was dating him and we broke up when he cheated on me with my friend, so no actual trouble attracting women, it was all in his head. But I avoided short men after that and my DH is 6 foot.

My 34 year old son is 5'7, shorter than his father and only an inch taller than his sister. He was never lacking female attention and had several girlfriends in his teens. What he lacked in height he made up for in intelligence, personality and charisma.

Met his now wife at university, she is the same height as him, it has never bothered either of them.

Goodness. So huge populations across the world have a birth defect in your opinion? In the case of many countries, almost everyone who lives there?!

This thread has been interesting because recently one of my sons was measured and is 5'11" and discussing this has had a strange effect on some of our friends/family members. It's almost as of it was fine until he specifically hit 5'11".
You can see the shift and the men comparing their height to him. It's almost like having a defined height in the room, especially when they are comparing themselves to it, makes them uncomfortable/self conscious.
I'm 5'7" and the fathers of my children are approx 5'9" and 6'3".
I don't think I've ever specifically looked for height, DH and I met online dating but it was Star Trek that connected us!
I've no idea the heights of previous partners, and only know DHs because he does talk about it a lot. I do love his overall build but most importantly for me, he can reach almost any spider that comes around.

This is true over the whole population but average height has risen significantly across the decades.

So true, at 5'11 I couldn't go anywhere or do anything as a teen and young woman without random strangers commenting on my height. I don't feel I stand out anywhere near as much these days (now in my 50s) and can't remember the last time someone said anything.

My DD put over 5,8 on her OLD profile this time. She’s 26 and decided she wanted to date a taller guy which she now is. It was just that she wanted a contrast from her X I think.

I'd say 5'9 to 6 foot is average for a man anyway. Height doesn't really bother me but it's unlikely I'd meet someone my height or under as I'm about 5'2. I probably wouldn't be that attracted to a man that petite if I'm honest.

Totally agree with this.

It’s really not remotely unusal now unless you’re living in an area where there are much higher concentrations of populations with genetics originating from countries where people are much smaller on average, or an area with high levels of deprivation. Pretty sad to learn through my reading on this as this thread made me interested, that children in deprived areas are two inches smaller as adults that they would have been with the same genetics, if growing up somewhere without such poverty. And that means that (because there will be huge variations in that across those regions and many people will prioritise feeding their children healthily above most other things) that those who are really suffering this stunted growth are probably suffering it at a much higher level than 2 inches of growth, and suffering all kinds of other health impacts etc. as a result of that malnutrition in childhood as well (not necessarily not enough food, just not nutritious food).

But not at all unusual for a woman to be 5’11” now, unless you are living in very specific areas that have specific issues causing lower than average heights, which drag down the national average. Looking at the data every decade since the second world war the average heights have risen even when you look across the country and despite an increase in ethnic diversity which on average has been a counterweight. It would be extremely odd for someone to look ascance at a woman for being 5’11” where I live because roughly 40% of the teenage girls are this height or taller!

I'm 5'5 and wouldn't date anyone below around 5'9 I suppose

Women prefer tall men. Men prefer slim women. Twas ever this

I’m exactly 5’ and never dated anyone under 6’. It was never a conscious criteria I set, was only attracted to men over 6’. I can’t help who I am attracted to!

Same with my daughter, same height as me, and she has never had a boyfriend or partner under 6’. Don’t know if same reason as myself, I have never thought to have a conversation with her about it as it’s not ‘a thing’ in my mind until I read stuff like this.

DH is over 6’ and all my sons are over 6’ (daughter just got my unlucky height gene), and sons have had girlfriends of all different heights so don’t know if they have a preference, it’s not something you think to ask I guess.

I have very little sympathy for short men complaining about women’s height preferences. The reason I have no sympathy is that I am a 6ft 1 tall woman and my experience is that very tall women are perfectly willing to date men shorter than themselves but shorter men never, ever want to date women taller than themselves.

It depends where you are and the average height I think. 5'7 in the UK is a bit short given the average height is 5'9 but it is very close to average. So I don't think most women would fuss about that - at least not the non-shallow ones. If you were 5ft in a place where the average is 6ft then maybe more women might care. TBH in my experience most women dont really care about men's physical appearance it is more about personality. But as a PP said online dating means you need to set out some kind of metrics for filtering people out and I guess height is an easy one. If you actually meet people in real life I think few women really care much about height. I am very tall and whilst yes a shorter man can mean I can't wear heels so comfortably if he's the right man otherwise the heels can go in the bin.

An addendum to say I am amazed that 5'9 is the average male height in the UK, most men I know are 5'11 minimum.

I think my drilling down into the data by area explains this. In many areas the average height of a young man now is 5’11.5” or even over 6’0”.