Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

LOL. I’m sure that’s completely different, for some reason…

It's online thing imho. They make like 17% of adult males only so obviously most of us date shorter than 6ft in uk irl. . i think younger gen has more now though.

@DrRylandGrace Yes, relative height does make more sense to me, as then it's about how tall the other person seems, as opposed to how tall they are on a tape measure.

Then again, I wonder if the preference for height isn't sometimes a subconscious desire to have a man who can protect you physically - in which case, the man's height relative to them isn't what matters, but rather his height relative to other men. I do think you're right about Napoleon complexes, too.

I wouldn't necessarily think it'd be less of an issue when meeting in person though - for me at least, height is a big part of chemistry. I don't want to be looking a man right in the eye, or looking down at him - I find that unappealing. So meeting in person, it would still depend entirely on how tall a man is relative to me.

I’m 5 11” so I know if Im looking up on a date. The number of 5 10” delusional men who claim to be 6 ft is really annoying tbh I set filters to 6 2”+ which may mean I’ve missed out on honest 6 footers.

In your case I can understand preferring someone taller, I am always more suprised by the very short 5 foot nothing women who won't even entertain anyone below 6ft, I am not saying there's anything wrong with that and having a preference is fine but it really does suprise me

I'm 5'3", and actually I've found it to be the other way around.

I don't care about height in the slightest, but (mostly when I was younger and sampling a wider variety) have mostly been flirted with by tall men, who seem oddly keen on me being small.

The ones who have been most keen on me being small were 6'2"-6'5", whereas the 5'6"-6' guys didn't comment nearly as much.

My female best mate is married to a guy who's shorter than me. He's one of the most lovely (& good looking) people I know. My male best mate is 5'5", and also married to someone taller than him.
It might be an online thing, but in general I think even though height is preferred by some women, it's not that significant to most.

My question was more because its more understandable if you are tall yourself, not because I'm desparate to lnow thei height ofnsome random person on the internet

Do you ask to measure them? Its an honest question - how can you tell the difference between 5' 11 and 6'?

My experience too, the tall men i know much prefer shorter women (5ft 5 and under) I wonder if thats ok or it’s just women not allowed a preference

Google tells me that the average height for a man in the UK is 5' 9"
so both you and your brother are below ' average ' as you say you are 5' 7" ( forget the thick soled trainers !!! )

and the average height of a woman in the UK is 5' 4" / 5' 5"

A man definitely needs to be taller than me

@CoyGoldenKoi I've found this too. Tall men seemed to be very keen on how 'tiny' I am. It was a turn off as it felt slightly creepy.

As said already, in my experience most tall men prefer short women so ive had no trouble at all dating tall men. Short women dont have to date short men just like any other characteristics, is there any others that you apply it to or just height?

I’m 5’4 and have dated men shorter than me (don’t know exact height) I’ve also dated men taller. When I first met my current partner I had no idea how tall he was as it’s something that was never brought up, just happens that he’s 5’10 so a fair bit taller.

Yes, sadly the majority do seem to exaggerate their height on dating apps. I've been on dates where they've unexpectedly been shorter than me (not an issue, but why lie?!). My friend who is 5'11 went on a date with someone who said he was 6'3 and he turned out to be shorter than her!

Apply to what?

Well this is it. The average male human being is taller than the average female human being, so it doesn't take all that much in the way of brains to work out why the man in a heterosexual couple is likely to be taller than the woman, does it?

And it goes both ways - some shorter men can feel intimidated and emasculated if their female companion is several inches taller. They really do not like being looked down on - literally.😂

Wow. What an ignorant thing to say

Dating I think you know what I mean, no im talking about your grocery order 🙄 what other characteristics do you think people should only date someone the same as them? Where does it stop?

Woah, that's really offensive.

Pretty much all of the tall people I know have similarly tall spouses, and vice versa. I am sure there’s a huge variation. The only couple I can think of where one is much taller than the other were my mother and father actually, and that was a total disaster (although unrelated to their heights, as far as I know!).

It is the case that with most characteristics (intelligence, height, personality, religiousity, attractiveness, values etc) people tend on average to select mates similar to them, and therefore these characteristics concentrate over time because of genetics. There are of course a great number of exceptions but it’s a well-documented fact that people are of course drawn to and connect with people who feel “familiar” to them because they have things in common and are therefore more likely to develop relationships with people who have similar characteristics them, so it’s not that surprising that on average people are more likely to select a spouse who is similar to them but this is across multiple different characteristics, of which height is just one.

There will be anomalies because everything else fitted except one characteristic, or because of personal preferences specific to an individual that override these innate instincts, but in general it’s highly predictive that people seek out people similar to them. Of course, height is just one factor in that equation when there are many others that are much more important! But it is part of that mix determining attraction, which largely take place subconsciously.

That’s why a checklist of criteria per online dating doesn’t automatically lead to good matches for many people because it is an unnatural way for a human relationship to develop and in many cases what people think they want (describing an “ideal” partner) isn’t actually what would make them happy or even what they genuinely believe is most important because you can’t select “chemistry” as a filter option!

My husband is shorter than me. It’s really not something I care about.

Well it rules out lots of shallow ones and those who are driven purely by aesthetics and physical features.

And my experience is the opposite

What do you mean what I apply to dating? I don't apply anything to other people's dating!