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Relationships

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Daughter unsure about first boyfriend after developing feelings for someone else

129 replies

Sweetpea0909 · 28/05/2026 10:33

My 16yr old daughter has been seeing a boy also 16 for 1.5yrs. This boy is lovely, mature, kind, worships my daughter, has good morals, all the family love him. My daughter has recently come to me to say she is unsure she wants to still be with him. After lots of talking, she admitted she has feelings for another boy. Nothing at all has happened with this other boy, they are friends and that is it. But these feelings have thrown my daughter and confused her about her feelings for her boyfriend. A lot of guilt and feeling like she shouldn't be with him if she is liking another boy. This is her first relationship. She suffers with anxiety and overthinking as it is. I am concerned that she is overthinking this and possibly going to throw away a good relationship because of perfectly normal 16yr old emotions. But then I feel am I just seeing it like this because we as parents feel so lucky that she has a boyfriend like the one she has. Any advice greatly appreciated. We have had a year of stuff happening and it feels like one thing after another at the moment. My 20yr old son recently split up with his fiancé too.

OP posts:
FelicityShagsWell · 30/05/2026 09:23

TappingTed · 30/05/2026 07:53

Please encourage her to consider whether maybe she just doesn’t need to have a boyfriend and can have some time enjoying making friendships and connections with different people in order to get to know her likes and dislikes and be able to see red flags when they’re there.
She should not be limiting herself age 16 no matter how nice the guy.

I just wish this is what I'd done.

dh280125 · Yesterday 11:05

She should break up with the boy she's no longer interested in. That's normal at her age! You should support her decision.

DiscontinuedModelHusband · Yesterday 13:43

OP, i remember a similar conversation with DD at a similar age.

Except there wasn't another boy, she just wasn't experiencing the feelings she thought she should, given he was lovely, and all her friends liked him.

We just said that any relationship should feel easy and comfortable, and should be a positive in both people's lives, and that no matter how nice the other person was, if the relationship was none of those things, then it's not right.

You should never stay in a relationship you are unsure about, just because other people think it's the right thing.

It wasn't until she went away to uni, and found out actually that she was much more attracted to girls, and that's what had been missing!

Your DD has so much growing still to do - please make sure she has the security and space to work everything out herself, as it seems like you do already!

Edenmum2 · Yesterday 15:08

Trust me the last thing you want is her staying with her teenage boyfriend forever

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