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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can a man in his 40s meet women offline?

93 replies

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:33

As per title I am a male in my 40's I have a none social brain so I find it hard to meet the opposite sex, tried online dating but got nowhere the sites seem empty to me. So moving away from online dating how do I meet women? Either casual no strings or something long term I am open to both, life is too short to be on your own

OP posts:
Ophir · 23/05/2026 20:34

Maybe put a dating ad on Mumsnet?

DefiantRabbit9 · 23/05/2026 20:38

When I was looking for Mr Right I did everything: singles nights, speed dating, pheromone dating, hobbies clubs and meetups. Basically if I wasn't working I was out hunting for the one.

Hobby club was were I found my husband, specifically D&D.

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:38

Ophir · 23/05/2026 20:34

Maybe put a dating ad on Mumsnet?

I can do that? Which thread should I put it in?

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 23/05/2026 20:39

What do you like doing? Find a version of it that lots of women enjoy and do that.

Do you volunteer? Make music or art? Travel? Do physical activity of some kind?

I went to parkrun this morning. A place to be around other people, to enjoy the running, to volunteer and contribute in a mixed sex setting.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 23/05/2026 20:41

Do you have any interests ? Art classes ? Running groups ? Tennis lessons.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 23/05/2026 20:43

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:38

I can do that? Which thread should I put it in?

I think that was sarcasm @Cheshireguy.

You need to go to where people are. Hobby clubs - running, cycling, pottery, conversational French, conservation volunteering, whatever - will at least have filtered people to those with a similar interest. I met DH at a conference.

FernFaery · 23/05/2026 20:44

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:33

As per title I am a male in my 40's I have a none social brain so I find it hard to meet the opposite sex, tried online dating but got nowhere the sites seem empty to me. So moving away from online dating how do I meet women? Either casual no strings or something long term I am open to both, life is too short to be on your own

Ok so what does this mean? ‘Non social’ - sorry but that reads a bit like you’re lost in life and looking for somebody to ‘care’ for you.

hethor · 23/05/2026 20:45

If you live near a big city and don't want to fake an interest in origami or flower arranging or whatever then there are group meetup sites like plysocial.com, timeleft.com or nicetomeet.com which just match you with a group of strangers for dinner or drinks.

PLY - People Like You

PLY — Personality-matched experiences

PLY brings together small groups of like-minded people for curated dinners, drinks and experiences in cities across the UK.

https://plysocial.com

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:45

PermanentTemporary · 23/05/2026 20:39

What do you like doing? Find a version of it that lots of women enjoy and do that.

Do you volunteer? Make music or art? Travel? Do physical activity of some kind?

I went to parkrun this morning. A place to be around other people, to enjoy the running, to volunteer and contribute in a mixed sex setting.

Classic car racing and pc gaming 😊

OP posts:
MynameisnotJohn · 23/05/2026 20:46

There are masses of women 30+ who are looking for a decent, kind man. Tell us more about the apps and why it’s not working for you? Yes you can try real life meeting but at least the apps filter the ones who are looking. What’s your relationship history?

MynameisnotJohn · 23/05/2026 20:48

You have quite male hobbies. Can see why that’s not working. Do you do any exercise? Could get fit and look for compatible people at the same time?

FernFaery · 23/05/2026 20:50

You should try meeting women via gaming in that case. Apparently a lot of women game.

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 21:02

MynameisnotJohn · 23/05/2026 20:46

There are masses of women 30+ who are looking for a decent, kind man. Tell us more about the apps and why it’s not working for you? Yes you can try real life meeting but at least the apps filter the ones who are looking. What’s your relationship history?

Never married and I don't have kids I have had two relationships both of these women I met online, no offence to any one I really want to meet naturally offline. Unfortunately I am a massive petrol head its my biggest passion I have owned and ridden motorbikes since my 20's, oh I love rock music too 😎

OP posts:
CleanShirt · 23/05/2026 21:06

Mumsnet is a strange place to advertise yourself.

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 21:08

CleanShirt · 23/05/2026 21:06

Mumsnet is a strange place to advertise yourself.

Not advertising myself just looking for advice as per title

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 23/05/2026 21:42

Ok, well, there are female petrolheads who want relationships too. You only need one… do you go to any events, festivals? Do you have friends who know you are single and would like a relationship?

paddleboardingmum · 23/05/2026 22:51

Have you asked friends if they can set you up?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/05/2026 22:53

Speed dating and dating mixer events are full of great men and unattractive shy short men, if you take care of yourself and you can ask questions and are a bit interesting you’ll do very well there.

crackofdoom · 23/05/2026 22:55

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 20:45

Classic car racing and pc gaming 😊

Be still my beating heart 🙄

OK, so what do you have to offer a secure, independent busy woman in her 40s, who enjoys her life but wouldn't say no to someone who would genuinely enhance it?

What are you offering that would make her life better?

EBearhug · 23/05/2026 22:56

Ballroom dance classes. You'll be in the minority, so any single women will get to dance with you. (To be fair, most will be there as couples, but not all.)

Cheshireguy · 23/05/2026 23:11

crackofdoom · 23/05/2026 22:55

Be still my beating heart 🙄

OK, so what do you have to offer a secure, independent busy woman in her 40s, who enjoys her life but wouldn't say no to someone who would genuinely enhance it?

What are you offering that would make her life better?

Is this a job interview? You make it sound like I am a share being sold on the stock market!

OP posts:
Ophir · 23/05/2026 23:15

Can’t believe people are engaging with this

RaininSummer · 23/05/2026 23:24

Join a motorbike club, go on rallies and go to gigs especially local pub ones to meet like minded women.

puzaru · Yesterday 08:32

It's a dilemma isn't it. The dating sites are dire. Overweight women classed as curvy. Lots of smokers. I've just read that 45% of women are overweight.
Have you tried the simple stuff, like just going for a walk and greeting people. Going for coffee and smiling at women you might fancy.
Motor bike rallies and country shows.
Extending your hobbies to gym, yoga, pilates

Galaxylights · Yesterday 08:37

puzaru · Yesterday 08:32

It's a dilemma isn't it. The dating sites are dire. Overweight women classed as curvy. Lots of smokers. I've just read that 45% of women are overweight.
Have you tried the simple stuff, like just going for a walk and greeting people. Going for coffee and smiling at women you might fancy.
Motor bike rallies and country shows.
Extending your hobbies to gym, yoga, pilates

You do realise that people have different preferences? Some people don't mind overweight bodies, no one is making you date anyone overweight.

Surely just set your preference? And leave overweight women alone, for existing.