New romance but what are we? I’m reluctant to ask just yet .

[handballheathen]

We met at a bar as a divorced pair in our fifties.
We’ve seen each other each week for a date or two and / or an overnight.
We live 50 miles apart both with adult children, some living with us.
we both work and commute,have family commitments and hobbies and friend groups so we’re busy.
We get on great, he plans 80% of dates and there good . He is generous and extremely thoughtful with small gifts. He does majority of travelling to see me as I’m more committed with children.
We text, voice note or ring each day.
We have spoken loosely about the summer and have some plans up to and including two months time.
We have discussed early on that we are exclusive.
As you can guess ,I am inexperienced after divorce but donit want to find myself after six months being told that this is just a casual situation where we aren’t building towards anything.
Hes told me that all he wants is to adore and be adored.

He also has spoken of his feelings about his kids leaving home and essentially being alone in his home in a few years so my take on this is that he does want to be part of a relationship long term.
He would like me to meet family and friends but neither of us want our kids involved yet.

As it stands our dates are just us .. walking, hiking, meals out, hotel stays and. Swimming together.
we will go away for a weekend.. our first in a few weeks.

We have deep personal conversations about our past, our lives etc and are a supportive presence.

So what is your opinion on all of this ?
Does this look like casual to you or going the right direction.
Before you suggest asking him I’m not ready to do that yet, thanks .

I think the poster is right and there maybe some red flags here. Seem ro be reading a lot onto this telationship after only ten weeks.. He may be a player who likes to be. adored. Bir of love bombing possibly

Hope not . Good luck.

I'm surprised it's only been 10 weeks and therefore not surprised you left it out of your OP.

If your connection is as deep and emotional as you say, you should have absolutely no problem asking him.

Mumsnet can't help with this.

Op you’re just dating which is how it should be. Your kids don’t need any involvement I think he is saying when his kids leave he wants the house to himself so you don’t get any ideas if I was you I would just enjoy the relationship as it is you get the relationship and the space to do your own thing unfortunately no one has a crystal ball to see if it’s forever but now’s the time to enjoy it you don’t even have to meet family and friends it’s just you 2 in the relationship. Don’t overthink it.

"Hes told me that all he wants is to adore and be adored."

This would have me running for the hills without looking back!

This. I can’t believe you’re getting so invested after ten weeks. It’s nothing . You haven’t even met his friends or children!

10 weeks is nothing. Give it a few more months and see how you feel.

Agree with others about the ‘adored’ comment. 🤮

It sounds lovely but I'd say you are ready at 10 weeks to say: Hey, maybe it's time to check on on where we see this going? Maybe that's just me ; )

It sounds like you've both had tough times and are still a little emotionally bruised. I would just focus on getting to know each other and having fun experiences together at this very early stage. No need for any big heart to hearts or future gazing. Completely understand that you've found someone who seems lovely and sincere and you don't want it taken away, but this is the getting to know you stage - hope it continues to go really well!

So much great advice and thanks

@handballheathen the adored comment is something my partner would say, he is very cheesy 😂 and we are similar age, we are of the generation who used cheesy naff chat up lines in nightclubs and pubs unless there are other worries I can’t see that as a red flag.