No Contact why are Parents always painted as the guilty party?

[Nanjizel]

I would like to hear attitudes to a child who has gone no contact. While I have had no contact for 40 months my child age indicates that this is a fairly recent decision. In the overlapping time span I have a relative who has suffered from aggresive cancer I am now preparing for their death. I cant help making comparisons with someone who is dying and someone who isn't but whom I feel is dead to me. I understand that my child may have numerous grievances with my parenting approach. This subject has an abundance of text online describing all forms of cruelty to Children during their development. What is minimal is the advice for the parent who has been thrown under the bus. Is blood really thicker than water? If I encountered someone who behaved like this our interaction would be minimal at best. Why do I have to accept narasistic gaslighting and selfishness? I am aware that a better relationship would lift my associated depression, but that's not going to happen. Over the last 40 months I have made numerous attemps to contact, calls. cards, emails and gifts all received no response. I am preparing to draw a line in the sand when my relative passes away and end all involvement with the child in question. Treat both people as deceased I have other children and this course of action will most likely have a negative relationship I have with my other children. The impact of not reaching out to me to discuss the family member in pallative care is shocking as I believe the silent ones grievance is miniscule in comparison to what the person is suffering with and the conversations their having to have with their family.
Without conversation there no solution, this comparisson between the unwell and the healthy is a real line that can't be forgiven, I think it defines selfishness!

Dottity

Now your sister has withdrawn you and in turn the dc are now the targets of your mother. You may have considered it previously to be a mountain out of a molehill but now your mother is targeting you as bf your kids.

This is far beyond your mother being supposedly stroppy: you’re completely underplaying her behaviour by calling her this. The golden child and scapegoat roles in dysfunctional families are interchangeable and now it’s your turn to be the scapegoat. As a result your kids are scapegoated as well.

You would not tolerate this from a friend so stop tolerating it from your mother. The golden child role you’ve been in re her is a role not without price either and now you’re seeing the price to be paid.

You also need to stay well away from her because she is abusive.

Agree. PP is a Golden Child. Dismissive of her sister, thinking she's exaggerating and being sensitive. Sadly classical. And she doesn't yet realise that the eye of Sauron has moved onto her and her children now that the Scapegoat has taken herself out of the line of fire.

It's all so predictable.

This is what dysfunctional parents do: they pit their children against each other, so that they remain centred and their wants are served by their children forevermore.

dreadful post.