Friend upset after I reported hacked account to the police

[ThisHappyBiscuit]

So my sons account got hacked by a friend of mines son who gave the details to someone to hack into. When this was all happening I said if my son's accounts password isn't given to me then im guna have to contact the police and my friend said "do it". So I did call when I didn't get the password. Ive gone upto my friend today and she's said do you really think you should be talking to me? I said why what's the matter? She said well we are under criminal investigation cause of you and we shouldn't be talking. I said well you told me to contact them and she said well it was to shut you up (in so many words) cause you were going off on one. Im really upset because I thought she was my friend and im just so lost now because I literally have no friends outside of my life. Can I just have some friendly words of encouragement because I'm just so lost and feeling so alone right now.

Sounds like op did try this first

A lot of posters seem to overlook the fact that taking something that isn't yours is theft, theft is a criminal offence, regardless of age.
Hope your boy has learned a big lesson here op

A crime is a crime. Well i would want my child seeing to by the police if they'd done something like this. She was serious in her message to me. Otherwise why say it and carry on messaging me like nothings up after i sent her a screenshot of the crime reference number?

He certainly has. I have as well and im going to do better at trying to keep checking in regularly to keep an eye on his accounts.

Apart from the fact that your son was the author of his own misfortune by disclosing his password to someone (after all this sort code of thing is the reason that passwords exist), why didn't he change his password as soon as he fell out with his friend so that he couldn't access his account?

100% agree with this...

Hopefully it gets sorted.
Really you and your DC don't need criminals in your life as that's what both this ex friend and her DC are.

Cause hes a silly goose and id had no idea that he had access to it. But im doing my best to educate him now so that he learns from this incident and then nothing like this will happen again.

You don’t press charges, that’s not how it works, it’s not your decision.
Actually you’re wrong there. I’ve had 2 incidents (not related at all to what’s happened here) and I was asked both times if I wanted to press charges and pursue to court. The offences were ones the police wouldn’t usually take to court, but if I had wanted to, they would have to do that. It was my choice.

I’m sorry this happened to your ds. The person taking the stuff from him will have been older than 10 and op took back control of the account so the situation is very different.

The more appropriate action on this occasion have been to sort it out with Roblox. The boys will have been sanctioned or have their accounts removed and hopefully their parents given them an appropriate consequence. That would have been a much more measured response for this particular incident.

Thats what they asked me. And I said look kids are silly, they do silly things and get into all sorts of trouble I just want these kids telling off thats it and at least a record so that if it happens again they can then take it seriously if need be. I don't want the kids to get into trouble but I do want them to learn from this because its clear the parents in question dont care. The police have said the boy in question who actually hacked into it and changed things his father was very aggressive with the police on the phone. So ive tried getting it sorted between the parents well before hand. Even getting the stuff back I got told "I dont care anymore they can sort it between themselves" when I desperately just wanted his stuff back and get his account back to the way it was.

And how do you know the person who did that to my son didn't start with hacking into other peoples roblox accounts and stealing their things, and had a parent go "oh well, it's no big deal"

They all start somewhere.

Yeah as murdering and assaulting people is the same as passing over passwords after a fall out and spending 45 quid.

So just call Roblox.

the good news I guess is you’ve one poster vehemently agreeing with you.

Look op, you think you were in the right. So does one othe4 poster, most others are a bit shocked by your behaviour. It doesn’t matter, your friendship is over.

The kid wasn’t hacked. He gave out his account details. 🙄

But seems the kid is just a “silly goose” and it’s fine to waste police time with this. It’s not like there’s a severe shortage of police or anything.

I understand. My post was in reference to @Velvetandleather saying you don’t get to choose if you want to press charges, when in actual fact, you do get to choose.

OP given that they wouldn't let you back into the account and they stole £45, and the mum wasn't actually sorting anything out, I also would have gone to the police. However, I'm autistic and I'm wondering if you are too? We have a very strong sense of justice and what's right and wrong in a way that many NTs don't, as you can see in your replies.

The friendship is probably over but that's also probably for the best, they don't sound a very nice family.

I did, ive more than 1 person agreeing with me. I literally have said in the posts before I contacted the parents, the parents didn't help so I did the next best thing which was contact the police. The kids in question have about 3 other accounts so getting one banned is neither here nor there because they'd just do it on another account. Surely preventative measure is better than contacting roblox to get my sons stuff back. It seems you like to sympathise with people who commit crimes? Im assuming youre someone whos kids done this and you don't think its a big deal but this is where it all starts. Starts off small little crimes and then they're stealing in shops and then robbing someone's home by the time they reach 18. This is the problem in the world. We are letting kids get away with crimes and we just have to brush it away cause they're just kids and the devoid of any criminal accountability.

my issue is the amount of parents that are apparently fine with overlooking their child being a thief, like it's no big deal .

No you do not, even the police don’t decide it is the cps. Asking you if you want them to continue to charges etc is likely as they felt it was a waste of time and wanted to be sure you wished them to investigate. You cannot press charges or chose to press charges, factually you cannot. You can google it to confirm.

Let's take the "password" and "video game" bits out.

I give a key to my house to someone who I think I can trust. That someone passes that key on to a thief who nicks £45 worth of stuff and changes the locks so I cannot get back in without calling a locksmith. Should I go to the police?

Of course I should.

That the "key" was a password and the "stuff" was software artifacts is not relevant to the OP's right to go to the police.

This is all a bit mad.

Did she even offer to pay the money back? What her son did was by no means ok. And her attitude toward it is unacceptable and probably a good indication of why her son thinks stuff like this is fine, honestly.

But the part I'm hung up on is that you thought you'd be friends with someone after you called the police on her child and by extension, her family. Like, that is bananas!

You say you thought it was ok since she told you to do it? You thought what was ok? You thought you could stroll up for a gossip at the school gate? Go around for coffee after the police had been??

Eh, you and @ChillingWithMySnowmies could be besties, stop being so dramatic,

I haven’t sympathised with anyone. I have simply said for 3 kids messing at 10, I’d not have called the police, I’d have taken back control of the account and spoke to the parents.

it’s irrelevant though, you did, you feel it’s right. The cost to you personally is your friendship. And that’s the choice you’ve made.

id also distance myself from you especially if you were going off on one like you are now.

I think i am tbh. But what i think i am isnt a medical diagnosis. Ive wondered for a long time. I have a few brothers who are and ive mentioned it to my Dr's but cause im old im past that point now 🤣

Except you DON'T get to choose. You can sometimes choose not to move forward with statements and cooperation etc. But it's not up to you as an individual about whether or not a charge goes ahead.

People often conflate two separate things. For a lot of crimes, especially petty ones, there's little point in pursuing a charge without the cooperation and testimony of a victim, or if the damage and harm is minimal. That's not the same as you getting to 'press charges' or not.