Never want to live with a man again?

[RosesAreRoses]

Im not even dating yet so this is a bit silly but I was talking about this with some people and I basically said I would never ever live with a man, I have children but even if I didn’t I would never move in with a man or have a man move in with me ever again. But according to people I was talking to this would be a deal breaker for them and they wouldn’t want to date someone who never wanted to live together? Im obviously not going to change my mind on this but does anyone else never intend to live with a man ever again? I just couldn’t live with a man again. Does anyone else feel this way?

I’m with you OP. Divorced 15 years ago , brought up DC and they have flown the nest. Have dated but so far not found anyone I would want to live with and in my late 50s I’m starting not to care. I love having my own space and doing what I want. Ex DH was a piece of work, parents now gone and I think it’s the first time in my life I can actually concentrate on me.

To clarify, you don’t want to live with a man again?

62 million reasons to never even consider it.

https://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2026/03/world/expose-rape-assault-online-vis-intl/index.html

Yeah, it's all over my social media. Horrifying.

That’s absolutely horrific.

I’m married but if anything awful happened I would never live with another man. I’ve got a good one but if mumsnet has taught me anything he’s in the minority. I also don’t mind my own company:-)

I think that is the key. It is not about not living with another man or woman, it is about your own company being more than enough, and being happy with the comfort of only dealing with your own needs, whether it's how you decorate, the choice of food, etc. I always liked being on my own, too. But i know so many people who just frantically needed a partner the moment their relationship ended, because they were just unable to be on their own. I always felt sorry for them, it must be strange.

I’d say 80% of the time I’m happy living just me and the children but in the future once children have left home I’d like the companionship of living with someone again and more so these days having someone to share the bills with.

My DP would work well I think as we have similar levels of tidiness, chilled out about what the other does with their free time and enjoy similar things.
Who knows what the future holds though mainly I’m just glad to have a roof over my head in this current climate!

Why are you asking others ? If you feel this way then so be it 🤷‍♀️ You don't need anyone else's approval but you will have to make it clear to future partners.

No they are just making a different choice from you. There is no need for your pity judgement.

@VoltaireMittyDream , I love this description.

The only way I could live with someone is in a vast mansion with separate wings (that we're separately responsible for).

Once the bills can be met, I'd rather have less money and have complete autonomy on how to spend it.

I'm not immune to the dream of the perfect relationship, but as a pp put it, once the oestrogen goggles come off, it's harder to believe in it.

So how soon are we suppose to let people know? Seems odd to mention it when you’ve just met..

It's in my OLD profile :)

The last guy I went on a date with he asked my opinion on second date - I’ve found men usually ask this quite quickly

I’ve dated in the past and never been asked? Maybe it’s an age thing? So they literally ask if you’d ever live with someone?

General aims tend to be discussed although both my H and I said we would never get married again and here we are 🤷‍♀️

The thing about the financial aspect is, as others have pointed out, you're in charge of your own finances. With my ex we'd eat out often, go for weekends away. And I cant even say it was worth it because he was quite abusive and would usually ruin any "event" by getting in a mood. So I was spending all this money to have someone treat me like shit. He probably paid a bit more than I did but then I felt I had to be generous in return. So I spent a lot.

They might pay half the food but if you say oh I just fancy a bowl of cereal tonight, there's uproar! I spend less on food than I did when I was in a couple.

Utitlies are pretty similar regardless. I suppose the big one is rent/mortgage but I see so many women say they won't take money for that as they dont want someone having a claim on their home.

I can spend or save as I want or deem necessary. And my exes have been fairly generous financially. I know that's not the case for many. But even then it's just not worth it.

I’m 50+ so there’s a lot of men my age looking for a nurse with a purse

I agree with @exhaustDAD, jumping from one relationship to another and not being able to function as a single person is a sign of deep self esteem issues. I feel really sad for people who will shack up with anyone just so they have someone. It leads to all kinds of crappy relationships and constant emotional upheaval.

That's YOUR interpretation of the situation unless it has been said to you and then it's only one case. Why is it always the single people who judge their partnered friends? Imagine if it were reversed and judgements were made about your choices?

I left XP 13 years ago.

I’ll never live with another man.

I kind of agree. We should only date people who are committed, otherwise dating is pointless.

But single people are judged. Particularly if you get to my age and haven’t been married. It seems to be acceptable if you are in a long relationship, no matter how terrible the quality of it, versus long gaps of being single. This is just my view and experience. Society is set up for couples but it sounds like things are changing a bit which is good.

I've never been married but I don't feel judged. As I get older more people tell me they admire my decision. I had the freedom to raise my ds to be a decent person (ex's choice). I have my own home, I enjoy my life, lots of friends, hobbies, career. My life is full and secure.
To be honest, why would I care if others judge me?

Here here! I feel the exact same way!